Choices
by Wendymypooh
Summary: Lou McCloud is faced with some hard decisions to make. Her breakup with the Kid has been painful, but an unexpected development has her rethinking everything.


PROLOGUE

_Rock Creek_

Louise McCloud felt the world spin as she sat up in her bunk above Kid's. She sat still for several moments, hoping the spinning would stop long enough for her to climb down. She succeeded in climbing down, but had to lean her head against the bunk as another wave of motion followed the first. She was thankful that she awoke earlier than the boys did, 'cause she would never be able to convince them that she was all right. Eventually she was going to have to tell everyone she was sick, but for now, she was going to continue to hide it. She saw no reason to worry them until she knew for sure what was wrong with her.

When the second round of dizziness had passed, she hurriedly grabbed her clothes and put them on. As she was pulling on her boots, her stomach gave a violent leap. She raced out of the bunkhouse and headed for the outhouse. She had barely entered the outhouse before she began to vomit. She fell to the floor of the outhouse as tears filled her brown eyes from the violent intensity of the retching. Her slender body shook uncontrollably and perspiration rolled down her face. Fear swept through her as she waited for the retching to pass. Never had she been so sick before in her life. Horrifying images swam through her head. She envisioned herself lying in the bunkhouse with the other riders, Teaspoon, and Rachel crowded around her. Kid's face swam before her eyes and she could picture the flood of tears swimming in his beautiful azure eyes as she closed her eyes for the last time. The thought of never seeing him or any of the others again filled her with such agony, that she hoped the end would be quick.

*Get a grip on yourself, Lou!* She told herself angrily. *The doctor in Seneca will give you something and you will be fine in a few days.*

She allowed herself only a few moments of rest, before she slowly got to her feet. Her head swam briefly as she moved, but after a moment subsided. With slow movements, she made hr way back to the bunkhouse. She washed her face in the basin on the porch and was relished in the relief the cool water offered her. By the sounds dwindling outside, the other riders were already awake and ready for the day. She was relieved to know that none of them suspected that anything was wrong with her. If she was lucky, no one would question her about how pale her face looked, and by nightfall, she would be in Seneca and know what was wrong with her. If any of the riders found out that she was ill, especially Kid, they would never allow her to leave the way station without finding out what was wrong with her. While everyone at the station knew she was woman, know one in Sweetwater did, and she was not going to let her illness jeopardize her job.

A chorus of "Morning Lou" greeted her as she entered the bunkhouse and took her place at the table.

"Morning,"

Her brown eyes met Kid's blue ones across the table and smiled softly at him. Kid responded with a grin that brightened his handsome features. Even though things had been tense between them lately, it did not mean that they could not try to be friends. She knew that things would never be the same as it was before they had fallen in love with each other, but there was not a reason for them to act so awkward with each other. Despite the reasons why they had broken up, Kid would always be a part of her life. He was a member of the Pony Express family and she wanted nothing more than for him to be happy, even if it meant him being happy with someone other than her. It would break her heart to see him married to someone else, but at least he would be happy.

"Louise, will you help me for a moment?" Rachel called out.

Lou got up from the table and went over to the stove. Rachel handed her a platter of fried eggs and another of bacon. Lou placed the plates onto the center of the table and returned to her seat. Rachel placed biscuits and gravy onto the table and took her place. Catching a whiff of Rachel's buttermilk biscuits, she suddenly found herself feeling hungry. It was as if the episode in the outhouse earlier had not even happened. Teaspoon had barely finished saying the blessing on the food, when she grabbed two biscuits off the platter, buttered them, and popped one into her mouth.

"Uh, Lou, are you feeling okay?" Cody asked from across the table.

"Yeah. Why?" she asked, as she started on the second biscuit. She looked around the table at the astonished faces before her. "Why are all of you staring at me like that?"

"Because it's not often we see you devour two biscuits in five seconds flat." Noah replied, grinning at her.

Ike pounded on the table to get everyone's attention. "Ike says that you even beat Cody's time at eating biscuits." Buck told her.

They all laughed as Cody blushed. He shot a scathing look in Buck and Ike's direction. "Ha. Ha. Ha. You boys are just a barrel of laughs today."

"Is there a problem with me having an appetite? Not like I can out eat any of you at any given time." Lou said, defensively.

"Don't take it to heart, Lou. These boys just do not know what they are missing when they devour their meals so quickly. I, myself, am a man who would rather savor every bite of such a delicious meal." Teaspoon said.

"I'm sorry about snapping at you boys. These biscuits are so good, that I couldn't resist eating another one so quickly." Lou said, looking at Rachel.

"Thanks, Teaspoon, Lou." Rachel said. "I'm glad some of you appreciate my cooking." She added, her green eyes twinkling with mischief.

Noise exploded around the table, as the other riders tried to outdo themselves in complimenting Rachel on her cooking. Rachel laughed as Teaspoon shouted above the din to get everyone's attention.

"Boys, boys! That's enough! Rachel appreciates the compliments I am sure. Now finish eating, we have a lot of chores to do today."

Silence filled the air as everyone focused their attention on finishing their breakfast. Rachel found herself studying the riders' faces as she ate. Each member of her adopted family was unique and held a special place in her heart. She could often tell by the expressions on their faces whether they were happy, upset or angry. When her eyes focused on Lou's face, she was shocked to see how pale and sickly it looked. A fine line of perspiration dotted the female rider's forehead and dark circles rimmed her beautiful brown eyes.

She knew that Lou had been having a hard time dealing with her and Kid's breakup. Lou had told her that she loved Kid very much, but that she just was not ready to settle down and be the woman Kid wanted. She knew how much riding for the Express meant to the female rider and how hard she worked to prove that she was just as good at her job as any of them were. Seeing how sickly Lou looked worried her though. Maybe there was something else wrong and Lou was not telling any of them. She hesitated a moment before asking," Lou, are you feeling okay? You don't look so good?"

Lou found herself the focus of everyone's attention for the second time in so many minutes. She remained silent under the deep scrutiny that everyone was giving her, knowing that they would not be able to find anything wrong with her except that she was paler than normal and that she had dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm all right Rachel. Just been tired is all. Had a hard time getting to sleep last night." Lou said, quickly, hoping everyone would let it go.

"I could take your ride Lou, if you aren't feeling well." Kid said, with a concerned look on his face. The look brought unwanted tears to her eyes. Damn! Why couldn't Rachel have kept her mouth shut! She was immediately contrite for having such a thought. Rachel had only asked the question out of concern, not because she had wanted to stir up problems between her and Kid. All she needed was for him and the other boys to feel sorry for her." I can handle it. 'Sides, it's a layover, so I can rest up then." Lou told him.

"Are you sure? I'd be glad to take it." Kid tried again, even though he knew he was treading on thin ice. Lou did not like it when he tried to do things for her. She always seemed to misunderstand his intentions. By the darkening expression on her face, it looked like he was going to get it with both barrels.

"I said I could handle it, Kid! I don't need you or anyone else mothering me!" she spat angrily. She rushed out of the bunkhouse before Kid could respond to her outburst.

Silence filled the room. No one spoke for quite some time. Kid started to finish his breakfast, the others following suit. The situation between Lou and Kid had them all walking on eggshells. They were afraid of saying anything to Lou about Kid for fear of making her upset, while trying to talk to Kid was like talking to a brick wall. None of them could understand why two people who cared so much about each other were so bent on making each other miserable.

"Real smooth there, Kid? Just can't leave her alone, can you? One minute you are acting as if she does not exist and the next minute pretending to care about how she feels. Why don't you leave her alone? "Jimmy asked his voice laced with anger.

"What's that suppose to mean, Jimmy? Just 'cause Lou and I are not together anymore, does not mean I do not care about her. Do you think this is easy for me "Kid said, hating that he had to defend himself to his friends? They should know that he would never willingly hurt Lou for anything. Tension filled the room as the two friends glared at each other across the table. For weeks now, Jimmy and Kid had barely spoken to each other. During the time of his and Lou's courtship, Kid had grown considerably jealous of the close relationship that the female rider and Jimmy shared. While the bond between Lou and Jimmy had grown, their relationship had come to a draw.

Kid wanted more out of their relationship than Lou was currently ready to give. Lou confided in Jimmy instead of him, now. Knowing that Jimmy was a willing listener caused him considerable pain.

Teaspoon cleared his throat and spoke before his two riders could exchange more words. "Jimmy, I know you think you have to stick up for Lou, but"

"Somebody has to, Teaspoon! I'm not going to let him hurt her anymore!" Jimmy told him angrily.

His steely gaze focused once more on Kid. "How do you think Lou feels when she sees you parading around here with all those women, Kid? Not only does  
she have to continue hiding the fact that she's a woman, but you constantly show her that she's not woman enough for you!"

Kid leaped out of his chair. "I'm sick and tired of having to explain myself to you Jimmy! Lou and I broke up! I am sorry Lou's hurt, but I am only doing what she suggested. Here's your chance, Jimmy! You've been mooning over Lou ever since we found out she was girl! Why don't you court her? Or are you just too chicken?"

Everyone watched in shocked amazement as Jimmy's usually stoic resolve crumbled and his face turned red with embarrassment. It was obvious to the others that Kid's remark held a grain of truth in it. Each had suspected that Jimmy had developed deeper feelings for the female riders during the past few weeks. Lou and Jimmy had been spending a lot of time together lately.

Jimmy was out of his chair and on top of Kid before anyone could react. The others winced as Jimmy's fist connected with Kid's jaw. Buck and Ike sprang  
forward and hauled Jimmy off Kid, while Cody and Noah grabbed a hold of Kid.

"Boys, that's enough!" Teaspoon's voice thundered through the bunkhouse as the door opened.

Lou stood in the doorway, her brown eyes glittering angrily. Taking in the situation before her, she stepped inside, her slender body rigid with barely controlled anger. She stepped between the two groups of men, eyeing first Jimmy, then Kid. Never before had any of the others seen such anger in the face of the female rider. Finally, Lou turned and faced Jimmy.

"Jimmy you are a good friend. You've been there when I have needed someone to talk to and I appreciate that, but you do not have to defend me. I can take care of myself. Being mothered was one of the reasons why I called it off with Kid. I thought you understood that. If you can't handle just being my friend then let me know now!" Lou told him, through clenched teeth. Then she turned to Kid.

"Kid, you've got to lay off Jimmy! He's your best friend! Jimmy and I are just friends, nothing more! I shouldn't have to explain that to you! You should just trust us! 'Sides whom I choose to court is no concern of yours! Picking fights with Jimmy is not going to change how things are between us. It's only making them worse. As for my personal life, mind your own damn business! 'Sides, I'd have to be crazy to want another man in my life right now! You boys are enough to drive any woman plumb crazy!" she spat out, her voice growing progressively louder as her anger took over. She shot angry glances at the startled faces at the other riders, and then stormed out of the bunkhouse.

**Chapter 1**

"I hope you boys are proud of yourselves!" Rachel said coolly, her green eyes glittering dangerously with barely controlled anger as she stepped between the two groups of men until she was facing Kid and Jimmy. She stood before them, a look of disgust evident on her face as she looked from one to the other of the two riders.

"Hasn't Lou been through enough these past couple of months without the two of you fighting over her? Have either of you taken a good look at her lately? She hardly ever eats, her face is sickly looking and there are dark circles under her eyes. Did either of you notice how she looked at breakfast? Did you?"

The other riders exchanged uneasy glances behind the housekeeper's back. Jesse gazed at Rachel in open admiration, while Teaspoon fought a sudden urge to smile. Seldom did Rachel ever become so riled up over a dispute the riders. Usually she chose to remain neutral to either side, choosing to let Teaspoon step in and resolve the problem if the riders did not settle their differences themselves. Obviously, Kid and Jimmy's continuous bickering over the last couple of weeks and concern for the female riders' health had pushed Rachel's anger over the boiling point.

"How dare you continue to make things hard on Lou, Kid? Do you think you're the only one who has been hurting these past few months? Can't you see how miserable Lou is or have you been so absorbed in your own hurt to notice? For someone who claims to love Lou, you sure and the hell have a funny way of showing it!"

Kid hung his head as Rachel tore into him. The anger he had felt toward Jimmy had dissipated, shortly after it started, leaving him with a feeling of immense shame. He did not attempt to defend himself, knowing that what Rachel was saying was right. He had not really been paying too much attention to anyone's feelings lately, let alone Lou's. He could still see her standing in the barn the night that his world had fallen apart. Her velvet eyes had filled with tears as she handed the ring he had placed on her finger back to him.

"I can't marry you, Kid."

"Why?" he had asked, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"Because I'm not ready to settle down yet. What are we going to do now?" She had answered, tears sliding down her face.

"Go back to the way things used to be, I guess." He had replied, not understanding then, just how hard it would be to act as if nothing had happened between them.

Lou had wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve and said, "Do you think we can?"

"I don't know." He had replied. Lou had flung her arms around his neck and held him close for several minutes, before he had torn himself from her embrace.

Thinking back on that night so long ago, he wondered if he would ever have another chance to hold Lou like that again. He recalled several attempts over the past few months when Lou had tried to talk to him. He could still see the hurt on her face as he made excuses or simply told her he did not want to talk. He had tried so hard to convince himself that Lou had never loved him, and that he would be better off without her. Never once had he ever bothered to ask her how she was doing or if she wanted to talk. Now, it looked like it was too late. Lou would probably never forgive him for the way he had been treating her, and he really could not blame her if she did.

"Kid? Kid? Are you listening to me? Have you heard anything I've said?"

The sound of Rachel's voice brought the Kid out of his reverie. He focused his attention and was surprised to see Rachel's angry a few inches from his own. Obviously, he had been so caught up in thinking about Lou that he had not heard the last few sentences of what Rachel had been saying. He shook his head in the affirmative motion, not wanting to her to know that he had not really been listening to what she was saying.

"Good! Glad to know that you were listening." Rachel said, sarcastically. She took a deep breath to calm herself, allowing Cody the opportunity he had been waiting for. He did not want to stay and listen to Rachel yell at Kid and Jimmy. There were better ways to spend a day, even if it meant working.

"Noah, isn't Widow Grayson expecting us over to her place? You know to, ah, help her with her…with her…"

Noah looked at Cody with a startled expression on his dark face. For as long as he had known the Cody he had never heard the blond rider ever volunteer for any kind of work. Well, that wasn't quite right. He had never heard Cody ever volunteer for any kind of work that would not enhance his image or involved rescuing beautiful women. Obviously, the present situation in the bunkhouse was getting to Cody, if he was volunteering to help their elderly neighbor.

"Uh, yeah. She needs help with her, ah, with her…horse." Noah answered quickly. He had felt a brief twinge of sympathy for his Kid, as Rachel had torn into him. Mostly he was just glad that Rachel was not mad at him. From the outraged look on the housekeeper's face, he had the feeling that Rachel was busy reloading her mental gun in order to continue blasting his fellow riders with both barrels blazing.

He and Cody began backing up toward the door, hoping that Rachel would not find any reason to yell at them. Cody nearly pushed Noah through the door in his haste to exit the bunkhouse before the next round of shouting started. Ike tugged on Buck's arms, his hands flying. Buck nodded, and the two riders began inching their way past Kid, Jimmy and Rachel.

Teaspoon watched with amusement as the two riders skirted around Rachel. "Boys, take Jesse with you. I don't want him to get caught in the crossfire."

"Ah, Teaspoon! Why can't I stay and watch! The fight was just starting to get good!" Jesse protested.

Buck and Ike grinned as Teaspoon pushed Jesse toward them. The grins slid from their faces as Rachel turned and leveled each of them with a deadly glare. Obviously, Rachel was not pleased with finding herself the object of their amusement. Hastily, three boys exited the bunkhouse as Rachel started in on Jimmy.

Buck looked at the others with a worried expression on his handsome face, as they headed toward the barn. "Do you think we should have left? What if  
someone draws a gun?"

"Are you kidding? Jimmy and the Kid wouldn't draw a gun in there! 'Sides, if they did, Teaspoon would shoot them both!" Cody exclaimed.

"Who said anything about Jimmy and Kid? I was talking about Rachel! She' so mad right now, she's liable to shoot them if they don't do what she says!" Buck quipped, a grin spreading across his face.

Cody, Noah, and Jesse burst out laughing. Ike's slender shoulders shook with silent laughter as he slapped Buck on the back good-naturedly.

"I want this fighting between you boys to stop, and I want it stopped right now! How can two people who claim to be best friends one minute, be at each other's throats the next! I suggest you wipe that smirk off your face, Mr. Hickok, before I do it for you! Do not think you are not just as guilty as making Lou unhappy, as the Kid is! You have used every opportunity you can to ignite an explosion between you and Kid, using Lou as the gunpowder! What kind of friend are you?" Rachel asked, turning her attention from Kid to Jimmy.

Jimmy had listened with great pleasure as Rachel had torn into Kid. It was about time someone besides him called Kid on the terrible way he had treated Lou. As much as he liked Kid, sometimes he just could not understand him. Lou had gladly given her love and herself to Kid, and yet, he was not happy enough with their situation. Kid's stubborn pride is what had gotten them all into this miserable mess anyhow. Instead of being happy with the woman he loved, Kid had allowed his sense of honor tear them apart. If it had been him Lou had fallen in love with, he knew that they would not have been fighting right now.

The smirk slid from Jimmy's face as Rachel stepped into him. Kid and Teaspoon watched tensely, ready to pull Rachel out of harm's way if Jimmy went for his gun. Few people would ever dare to get that close to Jimmy, without having a gun drawn in their faces. They hoped that Rachel happened to be one of those people. Jimmy's steely gray eyes gazed into Rachel's glittering ones for several moments. They stood that way for several moments, before Jimmy finally stepped back. Teaspoon and Kid exchanged shocked expressions. Never would they have imagined that an unarmed woman could ever best "Wild Bill" Hickok in a draw down. True, neither had gone for a gun, but it had been a draw down just the same.

"Now, I expect you boys to apologize to one another, before you leave the bunkhouse." Rachel said, leveling a look at Jimmy and then Kid.

It was Kid who stuck out his hand first. Jimmy stared at the outstretched hand for several moments, before finally shaking it. Relief swept over Teaspoon's face. He had not known an argument between friends could turn so ugly.

"Alright, boys, we've got chores to do. Rachel." Teaspoon wiped the sweat from his brow, placed his hat on his head and headed out the door. Jimmy and Kid followed, Rachel watching them go with a look of victory written all over her face.

**Chapter 2**

Lou slammed the bunkhouse door behind her, sagging briefly against it in an effort to calm her tumultuous emotions. Anger, hurt and confusion swam through her head, making it ache from the intensity of her thoughts. Abruptly she pulled away from the door as Rachel's angry voice reached her ears from within the bunkhouse. She had no desire to hear Rachel berate Kid and Jimmy for their treatment towards her and each other. Worst of all, she hated the fact that the situation between herself, Kid and Jimmy was affecting everyone at the way station. It was not fair to the others that she, Kid and Jimmy could not get along with one another. She stalked off the porch and headed towards the barn a short distance away. She walked with her head down, not caring to see or talk to anyone who might be in town, despite the earliness of the hour.

*Why can't Kid get it through his thick head that I can take care of myself? Why does he continue to treat me like some, some, helpless female he feels needs looking after?* She raged as she walked. The scene in the bunkhouse repeatedly played itself in her head. Each time, making her grow even angrier with her fellow riders.

*Why couldn't he simply accept my explanation for why I looked sick and leave well enough alone! I am so tired of having to defend myself to him. Why can't he accept me for the way I am, not the woman he wants me to be? Jimmy's just as bad though. He treats me as if I am an equal most of the time, except when it comes to Kid. Then he goes and acts like a lovesick fool, defending me against Kid. I wish they would both just leave me alone. Who needs them anyway!*

You do. A little voice inside her head whispered. Face it, Lou. You need Kid and Jimmy. Whether you like it or not, those boys are under your skin and you'll never get rid of either of them.

*Ah, shut up.* angrily she brushed the thought away, not willing to admit that the voice was right. It was so much easier to stay mad and not let the hurt and confused feelings set in. Moisture filled her eyes as she approached the barn, threatening to let loose a torrent of scalding hot tears onto her cheeks. Hastily she wiped the moisture away from her eyes with the backs of her hands, determined not to give in to the wave of self-pity surging up inside her. She would not give Kid the satisfaction of knowing he had hurt her once again. She could really care less what Jimmy thought of her at this point. He'd been there for her when she needed someone to talk to and she appreciated it, but she no longer felt comfortable sharing her feelings with him. Not even if he did make a fool of himself defending her.

When she reached the large wooden structure that housed the Pony Express horses, Lou tugged open one of the heavy doors and secured it in place against the wall to allow some light into the barn so she could see. She hated to light a lantern for fear of a starting a fire. She entered the barn, pausing briefly inside to allow her eyes to adjust to the dimly lit interior. Soon she was able to make out the bins and shelves that lined both sides of the entrance. The shelves held salves, currycombs, and other items necessary for seeing to the needs of the horses. Bins on the ground held shovels, picks, axes, nails, screws and other implements necessary for keeping up the maintenance of the way station buildings. Sacks of flour, salt and wheat were lined up near the entrance to make it easier for Rachel to get to. Onions, carrots and herbs hung from the rafters of the barn, alongside coiled lengths of rope, mended tack and a bunch of dried sage Teaspoon kept on hand for use in the sweat lodge he had built outside of town.

She wondered briefly if Teaspoon would order Kid and Jimmy into the sweat lodge to work out their problems with each other. Teaspoon had been known from time to time to force two of the riders into the sweat lodge to stay until they had worked out their problems, by themselves or with whomever they were fighting with. The thought of Kid and Jimmy sitting in the sweat lodge in their underwear, brought a brief smile to her face. Not the picture of Kid and Jimmy in their underwear exactly, but the fact that they would be stuck with each other inside the sweat lodge until one of them gave in. Knowing how stubborn they both were, it was likely that they would be in there for hours. She just hoped that Teaspoon did not get the idea to put her in the sweat lodge with them. There was nothing she would despise more right now than being cooped up anywhere with Kid and Jimmy, although seeing Kid and Jimmy in their underwear, would be somewhat nice.

Definitely, in a better mood than when she had stepped into the barn, Lou shook of the last of her anger and started down the aisle between the stalls. Even though her problems with Kid and Jimmy were not solved, there was no sense in her dredging on them the entire day. She and Lightning would be off on their run soon and she had other things to worry about. One was trying to figure out how to go about seeing the doctor in Seneca. She knew she would have to be careful. She could not take the chance that anyone in Seneca might discover that she was a rider for the express. If they did, it could leak back to Teaspoon and the others, or worse to her employers, Russell, Majors and Waddell.

She paused occasionally as she walked down the aisle, stopping at the stalls that housed the rider's favorite mounts. Fourteen horses were stabled in the barn at any given time, but only seven of the horses called the barn their permanent home. She patted each of the riders' horses on their muzzles, marveling at the differences in each of them. Each horse was as unique in color and temperament as each of the riders' was themselves. There was gentle Katie, Kid's horse; preening Sundancer, Jimmy's prized palomino; high-spirited Lightning, her black stallion; loyal Blaze, Noah's dun colored mare; loving Racing Moon, Buck's chestnut mare; silent Thunder, Ike's chestnut stallion, brother to Buck's horse, and friendly Flash, Cody's chocolate colored stallion.

As she neared the end of the aisle and was approaching the room at the back of the barn where all the tack and feed was kept, the sickly sweet aroma of hay, manure and molasses assaulted her senses. Perspiration broke out on her face as Lou fought the urge to vomit. Her stomach lurched violently, a burning sensation swept upward from her stomach, and Lou looked around frantically for a place to get sick. She knew that this time, dashing to the outhouse was out of the question. She did not have enough time. Finally settling on a corner of the barn, Lou half-walked, half-ran to the area. She fell to her knees in the corner just in time. Vomit raced up her throat and out of her mouth and onto the hay-strewn corner. When she was finished getting sick, she wiped at her mouth with the end of her shirt and sank back onto floor in a sitting position.

Tears filled her eyes again from the intensity of her retching, this time aided by the overwhelming fear that swept through her. Even though she had been getting sick every morning for the past week, never had it occurred more than once a day. She tried to remember if she had, ate anything that might have upset her already queasy stomach, but knew that she had not. She had eaten only the two biscuits and a small helping of fried potatoes before Rachel had inquired about her health. When she felt that she could move, Lou stood slowly up and went in search of a pitchfork. She found one in another corner of the barn and moving slowly, she covered up her mess with fresh hay. If she had the chance to later on, she would come back, shovel the offensive mess into a bucket, take it out behind the barn, and dump it. Right now, all she wanted to do was lie down on a pile of hay and rest.

Seeing a comfortable spot in the clean pile of hay, Lou lay down in it and closed her eyes. She would only rest for a minute or two before she finished getting Lightning ready for their ride later. Within a few minutes she was fast asleep, exhausted from her problems with Kid and the unknown illness that plagued her body.

"Do you think we should wake her?" Buck whispered as he, Ike, Noah, Cody and Jesse gazed down at Lou's sleeping form.

The five of them had entered the barn a short time earlier, laughing and joking with each other as they walked down the aisle between the stalls toward the tack room. Cody unlocked the tack room door and went inside, followed closely by the others. Buck, sensing something unusual in the barn, had discovered the sleeping form of their fellow rider and brought it to the attention of the others.

"Do you want Lou to go off on you like she did Kid and Jimmy?" Cody exclaimed.

The other riders and Jesse looked at him in disgust. Leave it to Cody to be more worried about Lou yelling at him, than for Lou herself.

"What?" he asked defensively, not knowing why they were all looking at him so funny?

*Maybe we should get Teaspoon or Rachel?* Ike signed, his expression worried. He did not like how flushed Lou looked. Maybe Rachel was right. Maybe Lou really was sick and hiding it from all of them.

The other riders did not have time to answer him, because Teaspoon took that moment to enter the barn. Upon seeing them standing around, and bellowed out their names in rapid succession. "Ike, Buck, Noah, Jesse, Cody. What are you boys still doing here? I thought you-" Teaspoon asked as he spotted them at the end of the aisle.

Hastily Buck hurried toward him, hoping to quiet the older man down before he woke Lou. His efforts were unsuccessful as Lou began to move around on the hay and slowly opened her eyes. Focusing her eyes on their concerned faces, Lou scrambled to a standing position. Her vision blurred shortly and she shook her head slightly to clear it. An embarrassed expression crossed her face briefly, before being replaced with a look they all knew too well. A look said that she was not in the mood to be asked many questions.

"What? Jeez, can't a girl fall asleep around here or eat more than one biscuit without all of you giving me a funny look. Heck, Cody gets more sleep than the rest of us all together, and he still claims to be tired every now and then." she growled, as she pushed her way passed them and headed into the tack room. Thankfully, the sickly smell that had upset her stomach before, was not successful the second time around.

"Lou, I know that ya don't like people messing in your affairs, but seein's how I'm you're boss, I got the right to ask. Are you feeling well enough to be makin' this run? There's no sense in saying no. One of the boys could make it for you." Teaspoon said.

Lou came out of the tack room carrying her saddle. "Look, Teaspoon, I said I-,"she began angrily. Cody, Noah, Buck, Ike and Jesse regarded her and Teaspoon with worried looks on their faces. Something really had to be wrong with Lou for her to ever raise her voice to Teaspoon; otherwise, common sense would have told her that she could not expect to win an argument with Teaspoon. To their amazement, Lou's face softened and she began again.

"Teaspoon, I'm fine, really. Like I told Kid in the bunkhouse, all I need is some time away from here. The run to Seneca is a layover and I thought I would treat myself to a night in town. Soft bed, warm bath and good food and I'll be good as new when I come home."

"That sounds like a great idea Lou. Why don't you take an extra day off? Me and the boys can look after things here." Teaspoon told her, his ice blue eyes warning her not to object to the extra day off. Despite the way she was talking and acting, he could tell that there was something bothering her. If it was not an illness of some kind, then it was this mess between her and the Kid. Either way, it was clear to him that she needed some time alone to herself and he was determined that she would have it. He would also see to it that neither Kid nor Jimmy did anything to upset her when she returned; if they did, it would not bode well with either of them.

Lou struggled to keep her annoyance from showing, knowing that Teaspoon was only trying to look out for her. Besides, she would not put it past Teaspoon to fire her for a day in order to get her to do what he wanted. She swallowed back a biting retort and said, "Thanks, Teaspoon. It'll be nice to have an extra day to myself. When's Ben do in?"

Teaspoon pulled out his gold pocket watch and opened it up. Studying it for a moment, he replied, "'Bout twenty minutes Lou. Boys, if you are going to Widow Grayson's, I suggest you hurry up. Wouldn't want such a frail woman tending to her, uh...horse." Teaspoon answered, winking at the two riders knowingly.

Cody and Noah hurried to saddle their horse. "Buck, Ike, Rachel's got a list of supplies she needs from Tompkins store. There's also a few items I added that we need from the Barns farm. They have some fresh fruits and vegetables I've been a hankerin' for. Rachel says that she will make us peach cobbler for dessert tonight if you can get some. Jesse, you come with me."

"Ah, Teaspoon. Why can't I go with Buck and Ike?" Jesse protested. The thought of seeing green eyed, red hair Cindy Lou Barns made his heart beat faster.

"Because, I say so. There's some chores at the office that need to be done, and Cindy Lou Barns is too old for you." Teaspoon stated, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously. Jesse's face burned with embarrassment as the others laughed.

*How does he do that?* Jesse thought as Teaspoon left the barn. *How does he know what I am thinking about before I tell him?* Jesse shook his head in bewilderment and then ran out of the barn to catch up with Teaspoon.

"Lou, can I talk to you a moment?" Kid asked, as he approached her. Lou stood a short distance away from the bunkhouse steps, checking over Lightning's

"What do you want Kid?" Lou replied irritably, bending over to cinch Lightning's saddle tighter to the horse's back. "I don't want to fight with you Kid, not before I leave on my run."

"I don't want to fight with you either. I just wanted to apologize to you for the way I have been acting lately. It wasn't fair to you." Kid said.

Lou stood up and glanced at Kid with a startled expression on her face. Kid stood before her, with his head down and his hat in his hands. As she stood and stared at him, he slowly lifted his face up to look at her and she could see the sincerity and regret he felt in his eyes. Her heart filled suddenly with all the love she still felt for him and she had to glance quickly away less he see it written in her eyes.

"I'm sorry too, Kid. I guess I handled things somewhat badly. I just thought you understood what my reasons were for saying no; I never intended to hurt you."

"I know, now. I should have known then. I was wondering if we could start over again. Not today of course, but when you get back." Kid added, hopefully.

"I'd like that." Lou said, placing her hand over his for a moment, before pulling away.

Kid backed away, rubbing his hand where she had touched him as if the spot burned. "I'd better let you finish getting ready. See you when you get back, Lou. Ride safe."

"Bye." she said softly.

She stood and watched him as he walked out of the barn, her head full with happy thoughts, unaware that someone else had been watching them talking. A dry laugh filled her ears, startling her out of her reverie. Lou swung around to see Jimmy leaning against one of the posts holding up the bunkhouse porch. There was a scowl on his face and a look in his smoky gray eyes that startled her. Never had she ever seen such an expression on Jimmy's face directed towards her.

"So, the two of you have made up. Go figure." he said sarcastically, throwing up his hands in the air in exasperation. He stepped down off the porch and walked towards her.

"What's the matter with you Jimmy? Just because Kid and I agreed to talk when I get back doesn't mean we made up." Lou said defensively, not understanding why she felt she had to defend herself to Jimmy. After all, it was he who had consoled her these past few months. She would have thought that he would have been happy for her.

"When are you going to understand that Kid isn't the man for you? That you need a man who is going to love you and except you for the woman you are." Jimmy growled, stepping so close to Lou that their bodies were almost touching.

Sudden understanding filled her, sending a tingling sensation throughout her body. Jimmy was in love with her! Why hadn't she realized that Jimmy had stronger feelings for her? Probably because she was so caught up in her problems with Kid that she hadn't taken the time to really notice how differently Jimmy had been treating her. Before she could think of a reply to her question, Jimmy swept her up into his arms and kissed her. The kiss lasted only for a few seconds, but to Lou it felt as if it lasted an eternity. Her legs melted and her pulse race as the kiss continued. Abruptly Jimmy broke off the kiss and stalked away, leaving her to stare at him in stunned amazement.

**Chapter 3**

Lou watched in stunned silence as Jimmy stalked away from her in the direction of the barn. He disappeared inside and a few minutes later, he reappeared leading Sundancer. Without so much as a backwards glance towards her, Jimmy mounted Sundancer, spurred the palomino into motion, and galloped out of Rock Creek.

Lou turned her attention back to Lightning, wondering if she had imagined the entire conversation with Jimmy. Every time her brain replayed the past few moments in her head, she knew that she had not imagined anything, especially the kiss. Just thinking about the sizzling kiss that Jimmy had her sent new shivers of excitement shooting down her spine. Never had she experienced such an intense mixture of reactions over a simple kiss, as the one's Jimmy's kiss had elicited inside of her. Not even Kid's.

Her body tingled from head to toe, her legs felt weak and her palms were clammy with perspiration. Her heart pounded in her chest, her pulse raced, and her lips burned where Jimmy's lips had touched them. Absentmindedly she brought a slender finger up to her mouth and gently retraced a line over them where Jimmy's lips had caressed them. She was still standing there with a dazed expression on her face when Rachel stepped out onto the porch with a basketful of the riders' dirty laundry under one arm.

After Teaspoon, Kid and Jimmy had exited the bunkhouse earlier, Rachel had set about cleaning up. She cleared the table, scraped the leftover food into a pail for the hogs and washed the dishes. Next, she wiped down the cook stove, table, sink and workspace. She hummed as she worked, tapping out a rhythm on the lids of the pans, tabletop and chairs as she moved around the room. She went on to sweep, dancing around the table as she did so, imagining that she was at a fine ball with a handsome man. As she was gathering up the riders' dirty laundry, she noticed how dingy the bunkhouse curtains looked and decided to wash them, too.

Setting the basket of laundry on the table, Rachel pulled a chair over to one of the windows and stepped onto it. She was wrestling with the nail that held the rod in place, when a movement outside caught her attention. Brushing aside the curtains so she could see out, she spotted Lou and Jimmy talking. She could see Lou's face clearly, even though it was at an angle. There was a puzzled expression on the female rider's face, as if she could not figure out what Jimmy was talking about. Surprise filled her own face a moment later as Jimmy pulled Lou into his arms and kissed her. Hastily she pulled the curtain rod down and got off the chair. She did the same to the other window's curtains and placed them on top of the pile of laundry in the basket, then waited a couple of minutes before stepping  
outside.

"Lou? Lou? Are you all right? Don't you have a run?" Rachel asked, deciding not to mention the fact that she had witnessed the kiss. One, she did not want Lou to think she had been spying on the two riders, and two, she knew Lou would eventually tell her about the kiss.

"Huh? Oh, Rachel. Did you want something?" Lou asked, snapping out of her dazed reverie at the sound of Rachel's voice. Fervently she hoped that Rachel had not been standing on the porch of the bunkhouse very long. She had no idea of how to explain the kiss to Rachel, when she did not quite understand it herself. She felt herself blushing as she turned to face the housekeeper.

Rachel took in the flushed cheeks and lit eyes and had to resist the urge to smile. Obviously, Jimmy's kiss had unsettled the female rider, in many ways. She just hoped that Jimmy's impulsive display of emotion did not wind up costing him more than just a little bit of embarrassment. It had been her experience that someone always got hurt when there were more than tow hearts involved. Silently, she hoped that it would not be Jimmy who got hurt. While he appeared tougher than the others on the outside did, Jimmy was the more fragile on the inside than the other two riders.

"I asked if you were alright and whether you had a ride scheduled." Rachel said, repeating her question.

"I'm fine." Lou assured her quickly. "I also have a ride. The rider from Ft. Kearney is late coming in. He was due in about nine o'clock. What time is it now?"

Rachel turned the face of her watch pendant up so she could read the time. Her expression grew concerned as she said, "It's nearly ten! Who's the rider?"

"Ben Stead." Lou answered, her face displaying her own concern. She had known that the other rider was late arriving from Ft. Kearney, but had not realized how late he actually was. Then again, her mind had been occupied with other, more pleasurable thoughts.

"Ben's late? He is usually on time. Something must have happened." Rachel said.

Lou nodded grimly. She and Rachel turned towards the direction that the absent rider was expected to come from, each silently saying a prayer of protection over their friend. Although they often put up other Pony Express riders at the way station, there were only a few of them that they all considered friends. Ben Stead was one of those riders.

Buck and Ike rode slowly back into town after making the purchases of the fruit and vegetables from the Barns' farm that Rachel had placed on her shopping list. Both were feeling pleased with themselves, after obtaining the last bushel of peaches that, the Barns' had. Each was anticipating that evening's meal when Rachel would serve her delicious peach cobbler. Both would have been surprised to know that they were hoping for the same thing: that they would be able to finish their meal before Cody did. Otherwise, they would have a slim chance of getting a decent slice of cobbler after he was finished with it.

*Maybe Widow Grayson will keep Cody and Noah so busy out at her place that she'll invite them to supper.* Ike signed, half- hoping, half-jokingly.

"Talk about wishful thinking." Buck replied sarcastically. "You really think Cody's going to pass up a helping of Rachel's peach cobbler?"

Ike thought for a second and then shook his head. Only a run could keep Cody from partaking of one of Rachel's delicious meals.

They continued on their way, Ike occasionally pointing something that interested him out to Buck. When he came across a flower, plant or tree that he did not recognize, he would sign a question to Buck. Buck would respond by telling him what it was and then show him the sign for the object if Ike did not already know it. They were just on the outskirts of Rock Creek when the peaceful silence around them was shattered by gunshots.

Buck and Ike exchanged startled glances, and then spurred their mounts into a gallop in the direction they thought the shots had come from. Rounding a small grove of trees, they came upon a scene that made the hair on the napes of their necks stand at attention!

A lone horseman on a cream-colored appaloosa galloped across a meadow, chased by several Indian braves. The rider on the appaloosa kept one hand on the reins and in the other held a pistol that he repeatedly fired at his pursuers.

"Apache!" Buck shouted, recognizing the bold green and black painted markings on the horses of the attacking braves.

Ike nodded grimly, as he drew his gun. Out of all the tribes located in this section of the Nebraska Territory, the Apache was reputed to be among the most hostile. Both riders kicked their horse at the same time, urging Racing Moon and Thunder to increase their speed.

At the sound of hoof beats and gunshots coming from behind them, the attention of several of the braves chasing the lone horsemen, swerved around to meet their attackers. Two braves fell from their horses almost simultaneously as Buck and Ike fired. Instinctively, Buck through himself to the side as a razor sharp arrow whizzed past his ear. Ike swirled towards Buck, thinking that his friend had been wounded. Another arrow whizzed by, this time grazing his hat and causing it to fall backward. Ike swung his horse around, reined him in and took deadly aim at the approaching brave. He smiled triumphantly when the brave flew off the back of his horse, and knew his bullet had found its intended mark: through the brave's heart.

Sensing that they were approaching impending danger at their close vicinity to the town, the leader of the remaining braves barked out a sharp order to his companions. Together the group of graves darted across the meadow in the direction of the distant mountains. Buck and Ike breathed a sigh of relief and then turned their attention toward the lone rider. Whether the appaloosa was frightened by the continuous gunfire around it or was obeying its injured master, the appaloosa was in a dead run towards Rock Creek. Judging from the slumped over position of the rider, Buck thought grimly that the run might turn out to be a dead one indeed.

Jesse and Kid stood outside of Teaspoon's office, Kid holding a hammer and nails, and Jesse sifting through a stack of wanted posters. Whenever he came across a poster that interested him, he would stop and read aloud the list of crimes the wanted person or persons had committed. "Listen to this one Kid! These boys are brothers named Jenkins and their wanted for just about everything! Murder, attempted murder, desertion from the army, bank robbery, rustling,-"

"Jesse, would you give it a rest already! I'd like to get this finished before night fall!" Kid told him irritably.

"Jeez, what's eating you? Just cause you and Lou ain't getting along right now ain't my fault," Jesse replied heatedly.

Kid turned towards Jesse with an enraged look on his face. He had heard about enough wisecracks out of Jesse concerning his and Lou's relationship to last a lifetime. Just as he was about to open his mouth to tear into Jesse, his attention was drawn towards the road. Buck and Ike led a cream-colored appaloosa with an injured rider on its back down the road at a fast pace. He guessed that they were taking the injured man to Dr. Dane's office.

"Teaspoon, I think we've got trouble." Kid called out before handing Jesse the hammer and tin full of nails. Teaspoon appeared in the doorway with an inquiring expression on his weathered face.

"Buck and Ike just rode through town leading an injured rider on an appaloosa. Looked like Ben Stead's horse to me." Kid told him.

"Damn! Next to all you boys, Ben's one of the best riders the Express has, besides being a fine man. Jesse, stay here. And do not tough nothing! That included the new Winchester I have sitting on my desk!" Teaspoon said, as he and Kid started towards the doctor's office down the street.

"I'll stay here only if you let me know what's going on." Jesse called after them, kicking angrily at the porch post before turning back to the wall where the wanted posters were hung.

(I never get to do anything exciting. All I have to do is do the chores, do my homework. They never let me have any fun.) He said angrily to himself. Then a thought crossed his mind. Maybe if he had all the wanted posters hung up by the time Teaspoon got back, he would be able to go visit with Cindy Lou before supper.

Lou and Rachel had grown increasingly worried over the whereabouts of Ben Stead, when Ike raced into the yard on Thunder. Hurriedly he filled them in on what had occurred outside of town and Ben's condition. Lou leaped onto Lightning's back, took the mochilla Ike offered her and kicked Lightning into motion.

"Ride safe, Lou." Rachel called after her.

**Chapter 4**

After kissing Lou, Jimmy had headed towards the barn with the intent on saddling Sundancer and taking a long ride. He had entered the barn, stalked down the aisle between the stalls to the tack room and removed his saddle from its stand. He carried it to the front of the barn and then led Sundancer from his stall. Sundancer's golden muzzle turned towards his owner and began to nuzzle his coat pocket. Jimmy moved slightly towards Sundancers' hindquarters to keep the horse from munching on his coat pocket, only to have the palomino raise his hind legs off the ground and throw his rear end into Jimmy. The palomino's sudden and unexpected push caught Jimmy off guard and he stumbled backwards. He glared briefly at the horse as he regained his balance and then continued to finish cinching up the saddle.

As soon as he moved closer to the front of the horse and bent to cinch the girth up tighter, Sundancer once again began to nuzzle his coat pocket. This time, though, he did not wait to see what Jimmy would do. His rough tongue darted quickly out, once, twice, licking the pocket and the side of Jimmy's face. Jimmy drew away from the horse, laughing, as he wiped saliva from his cheek.

"You sure are a pushy fellow, aren't you?" he told the horse affectionately. "Can't you wait until I'm done saddling you, until you demand your treat?"

The palomino shook his head, negatively, as if he could understand what Jimmy had asked him. Then he waited patiently for Jimmy to offer him the treat he knew he was hiding, eyeing Jimmy's coat pocket hungrily. He did not have long to wait. Jimmy glanced quickly around the barn to make sure they were alone, and then reached into the pocket that held Sundancer's attention and removed a folded up handkerchief. He could just imagine how much ribbing he would take if the others saw him acting so affectionately towards his horse. He could just hear the remarks they would make about it, Kid ribbing him the most. He could not say that he would blame Kid either. Not after all the remarks, he had made about Kid's relationship with his own horse, Katie. Kid treated his horse better than anyone else did, including Lou.

*What do we have here?* Kid would say. *'Wild Bill' Hickok feeding his prized palomino lumps of sugar? What will the Association of Gunfighters say about that? I do not expect that they will take kindly to finding out how soft one of their infamous gunfighters has become.* Then Kid would turn to the other riders and say, *what do you boys think?*

He shook his head to clear it, laughing at his own foolishness. It was better to not try to imagine what sort of nonsense the other riders would come up with to goad him about his relationship with his horse. He unwrapped the handkerchief, revealing what was wrapped up inside: four crystallized lumps of white sugar. Jimmy had carefully hidden the four lumps of sugar in his handkerchief that morning, before Lou had returned to the bunkhouse. He had awakened before the other boys, dressed and received the first cup of steaming hot coffee from Rachel when she had entered the bunkhouse. He dumped the lumps of sugar into his left hand and held it out to Sundancer.

Sundancer took the lumps of sugar from his proffered hand, swallowed quickly, and then greedily eyed the handkerchief again. He stretched out his muzzle as if to take a closer look at the handkerchief. Jimmy drew the hand that held the empty handkerchief out of Sundancer's reach and declared, "Oh, no you don't. Them four lumps of sugar were the only ones in the kerchief. Maybe you won't be so greedy next time I bring you some and take a little more time to enjoy the ones you got."

Sundancer snorted his retort as Jimmy led him out of the barn and mounted him. The palomino tossed his head back and forth, as if he was angrily protesting Jimmy calling him greedy. Jimmy laughed at his horse's antics and made a quick note to never tease Kid about his belief that the horses understood whatever they said. Judging Sundancer's was response to what he had said, Jimmy now believed Kid to be right. Horses were a lot smarter than most people gave them credit for.

Jimmy slowed Sundancer to a walk as they neared the pond two miles outside of Rock Creek, then dismounted. Jimmy left Sundancer to graze, un-tethered, in the ankle-high grass that lined the banks of the pond. He walked over to an oak log that had fallen years earlier and now provided a perfect place to sit and gaze out at the pond. The water looked cool and inviting, its calm blue depths, several shades darker than the pale sky above. Jimmy sat down on the log and hen removed his jacket and gloves. Slowly he rolled up the sleeves of his black shirt and undid its top two buttons. The day was already warm and it was not even noon yet. He felt sorry for Lou and Ike. Both riders had runs today. Lou had already left on hers, but Ike would not leave until noon. He did not know whom to feel the most sorry for. Lou, because she was going the farthest, or Ike, because he would be starting out on his run during the hottest part of the day. He decided that he felt for them both. He was glad that he did not have a ride scheduled.

Just thinking of Lou, brought an image of her to his mind. He remembered how tiny and warm her body had felt next to his, how velvety smooth her lips had been against his, and how right it had felt to hold her in his arms. He had cherished every second of that kiss and wondered if he would ever get a chance to do it again.

*Stop it Jimmy! Why torment yourself over a girl you can never have! She does not love you! She loves Kid! And as much as you do not want to accept it, she will never stop loving him!* A voice whispered inside his head.*No! That's not true! You cannot make me think that there is not a part of Lou that cares about me! Lou cares about me, I know it!* He told the voice angrily, getting up from the log to pace back and forth with his conscience.

*Of course she cares about you. This is Lou, we're talking about. She cares for all you boys. You're her family. BUT SHE LOVES KID!* the voice continued. *Face it, Jimmy. Lou will never choose you over Kid. Never, never, never!*

*Shut up, already! If I wanted advice from you, I would have asked for it!* Jimmy told the voice inside of him. Suddenly weary over the war his emotions were raging inside of him; Jimmy sank onto the grass beside the log. Folding up his coat into a pillow, Jimmy was soon fast asleep; his slumber haunted by a certain female rider with auburn hair and beautiful doe eyes.

It was late afternoon when Lou and Lightning finally rode into the Seneca way station. She passed the mochilla over to the next rider and wearily dismounted. She led lightning over to the livery and started to unsaddle him. A small, older man came forward and took the reins out of her hands. He smiled sympathetically at her.

"Go on Lou. I'll care for your horse. Looks like you could use a cool bath and a cold drink." The man told her.

"Thanks Avery. I'll be back to check on him later." Lou said, gratefully, dragging her bedroll off Lightning's back and heading towards the nearest hotel.

Lou hoped that there would be a bed vacant in the nearest hotel she came too. As tired and hot as she was, she did not care how much the room cost. All she wanted to do was take a bath and lay down. She trudged wearily down the wooden sidewalk, eager to find a hotel and get out of the heat. She came upon a large wooden sign painted in burgundy, gold and green that said, "Home Away From Home Hotel." Lou smiled and walked inside. Her jaw dropped home as she took in the majestic looking décor, Burgundy brocade drapes hung from the four windows lining the entrance to the hotel. Oriental rugs with the same colors covered the floors of the lobby and the dining room. Accents in the three colors made the room stand out. In one corner was a large mahogany reception desk. Behind the desk, stood a black-hair young man watching her with a wide grin on his face. Lou blushed and walked towards the desk.

"Pretty fancy ain't it? My pa wanna to own a place any'un would feel comfortable-like in and my ma wanna to decorate it fancy. So's they compromised. Would you like a room?"

"Yes, for two nights. I'd also like to wash some of this trail dust off. Will you send up a bath and water?" Lou answered gruffly, affecting the deeper voice she used when on away from the waystation. She dug in her pocket and pulled out some money.

"That will be one dollar. I'll send someone up right away with the bath, Mr. McCloud." The young man said as Lou signed the register.

"Thank you." She said, taking the key and going up the stairs. She found her room easily, since it was close to the staircase, unlocked it and went in. She re-locked the door as she closed it. She never felt comfortable leaving her hotel room unlocked unless one of the other riders was with her. Of course, when she had been with Kid, they had found other reasons to keep the door locked.

*Stop it, Lou! Don't even think about Kid! Or Jimmy! You have other things to worry about!* she scolded herself. *For instance, how are you going to see a doctor without someone realizing you're an express rider.* She reminded herself. She thought as she sat down on the bed and removed her boots. She lay back against the pillows and tried to think of something that would work. *I hope they bring my bath up soon. I'm really sleepy, but first I'd like to wash up.* Deciding that she would rest for only a few moments, until they brought her bath, Lou closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.

**Chapter 5**

Lou awoke to the sound of someone banging on the door of the hotel room. Groggily, she sat up in the bed, realizing that she must have fallen asleep soon after her head had hit the pillow. Judging by how dark the room was, she must have been asleep for quite some time. Sliding to the edge of the bed, she slid off and carefully made her way over to the bureau, where she remembered seeing a lamp. Even though she kept her arms out in order not to bump into anything before getting to the dresser, she still managed to stub her tow on one the dresser's legs. She let out a muttered curse, grabbed her right foot and gently rubbed the stubbed toe. As soon as the pain had eased, she carefully ran her hand over the dresser top until she found the lamp and the box of matches beside it. She withdrew a match, struck it against the side of the dresser and was rewarded with a small flame. Carefully removing the chimney from the lamp, she lit the wick, replaced the chimney and turned the knob on the side of the lamp, illuminating the room.

She had barely lit the room, when someone knocked on the hotel room, startling her enough to make her jump, spin around, and draw her gun all in one fluid movement. Her heart thumped against her chest and her pulse raced with sudden tension. She walked towards the door in her bare feet, her gun cocked and ready to fire on her command. She was still standing there when the knocking began again. This time it was followed by a male voice.

"Mr. McCloud? Sir, are you all right? I brung your bath an' water like ya requested."

Relief swept through Lou as she recognized the voice as belonging to the young clerk who had helped her check in. She giggled at her own foolishness and holstered her gun. She opened the door and peered out.

"Sorry to bother ya, Mr. McCloud. I had yer bath brung up earlier like ya wanna, but Cecilia and Gladisa said that there weren't no answer at yer door. I figgered thet ya might have gone to sleep, so's I tole 'em to leave ya. It bein' near on to eight I thought thet I should waken ya up, so's ya could freshen up an'eat afore the dinin' room started." The young man said with an apologetic look on his face.

"Thank you, you for going to the trouble of sending my bath up again. I must have been more tired than I thought." Lou told the young man, smothering a yawn.

The young man nodded and then stood silently before her, as if waiting for her to say something else. It took Lou a moment or two to realize that he was waiting for her to open the door wider so he could bring in the oval shaped tub besides him. Lou blushed and opened the door wider so he could bring in the tub. Following behind him were two young women in cotton dresses the same shade of burgundy as his suit was, pushing a funny looking wooden cart loaded down with buckets full of water. In a matter of a few minutes, Lou was alone with a tub of steaming hot water.

After taking a bath and eating the simple, but tasty, meal offered by the hotel dining room, Lou found herself feeling better than she had in the past week. Obviously, what she had said to Teaspoon had been right: all she had needed was some time away from the waystation, Kid and their problems. Even though she knew that none of the shops would still be open, Lou decided that to go for a walk before returning to her room. She decided that her first stop would be to check at the livery. It was standard practice for all the riders to give their mounts a thorough examination after completing a run, to make sure that they had not sustained any serious injuries while on the run.

As she made her way down the sidewalk toward the livery, she could not help noticing how beautiful the Kansas sky was. A full moon hung high in the sky, surrounded by thousands of twinkling stars that helped illuminate the ground below. The night was warm, almost to the point of being unbearable, save for the gentle breeze blowing. It was nights such as this one, that made her long for Kid the most. Even before their relationship had changed into one more serious, both had often found themselves in each other's company under skies as full and as bright as this one was. Sometimes it would be Kid who would seek her out on the top rail of the corral fence, climb up and sit down beside her. Or she would go in search of him, often finding him sitting behind the barn in the tall prairie grass gazing up at the stars. Sometimes they shared their thoughts and dreams for the future, other times they had just sat in companionable silence, enjoying each other's presence.

Just thinking of Kid brought tears to her eyes and pain to her heart. They had shared so much since they had first met each other and yet, here they were a year later, and it seemed that they really did not know each other at all. At least, that's how it felt to her. She really did not know anymore how Kid felt. Even to the point of wandering if he still loved her. These past few months had been incredibly painful for her; she knew that it had not been easy for him either. There had been too many times that she had caught him staring at her with those beautiful eyes of his, pain and anguish apparent on his face. Yet, every time she had tried to approach him to talk, he had eagerly made excuses to get out of talking to her. Either way, it did not excuse the hurtful things he had done. Seeing him with all those, other girls had been excruciating for her. Worst of all for her was the knowledge that Kid tried his hardest to act as if they had not meant anything to each other.  
Recalling the words that he had said to her before she had left on her run that morning, made her heart fill with hope. Whether or not they ever got together again, she did not know. All she did know was that she would try her hardest to make it happen. Hopefully, Kid thought the same way. Reaching the livery finally, she went inside and lit a lantern. She walked carefully down the aisle of stalls, until she came to Lightning's. She slipped the bolt free and stepped inside. She ran her hands over Lightning's body, carefully examining every inch for any noticeable signs of injury. She was almost finished with her examination when she heard the barn door creak open. She felt herself tense up as she heard footsteps start down the rows of stalls towards her. She crouched down in the stall and went for her gun at the same time. She held her breath as she waited for whoever had entered the barn to make his presence or intentions known. She did not have long to  
wait.

"Whoever is in here, better come on out with your hands up? There isn't another way out of the livery except through the front and I have all the time in the world to wait." An older man's voice called out.

Lou giggled with relief, and then stood up. She knew that Avery could not see her from where he was standing at the end of the aisle and called out. "It's me Avery, Lou McCloud. I just came down to check Lightning over."

She holstered her gun and moved slowly out of Lightning's stall, keeping her hands up where Avery could see them. The older man squinted down the aisle and then lowered the shotgun he held in his hands.

"Sorry, Lou. Didn't know what to expect when I saw a light on in here. There has been some trouble around here lately with a bunch of troublemakers. They have been breaking into shops in town, stealing whatever they can find, making a mess of the place. Just wanted to make sure, nobody was messing with the horses."  
Avery told her.

"It's alright. I didn't mean to wait too long to check Lightning out. Fell asleep. Did you notice anything wrong with him?"

"No, nothing out of the ordinary. I did notice that he was about due to be shod. Want me to take care of that? Avery asked.

"If you can. I'll be in town for another day, before I head back to Rock Creek. Think you can have it done by tomorrow?" Lou asked.

"I'll do it first thing in the morning. Can't have one of the Express's best horses out of commission because he needs shoes, now can we." Avery told her.

"Thanks Avery. I'll be by in the morning to feed him." She told them as she headed out of the livery. She walked around town for a little longer, and then headed back to the hotel. Stripping down to her long johns, Lou climbed into bed and tried to come up with a plan that would allow her to see the doctor without it jeopardizing her job. It was nearly midnight before she came up with an idea good enough that she felt comfortable going to sleep.

**Chapter 6**

Lou awoke earlier than she normally did eager to put her plan into action. She climbed slowly off the bed and was surprised when the dizziness and nausea she had been experiencing for the last week, did not sweep over her. It was not until she had almost finished dressing, that the nausea and dizziness hit her. It swept through her in a rush of motion that sent her reeling towards the washbasin in the corner of the room. She gripped the sides of the oak washstand so tightly in order to steady herself that they turned white with the strain. Her head spun with dizziness, her legs trembled uncontrollably and her sides ached with pain as she retched. When she had finished retching, she sank to the floor of the hotel room with tears in her eyes. Fear swept through her, overwhelming her, until she could do nothing more than sit on the floor in a little ball and sob. As much as she hated the fact that she needed him so much, there was not anything she would not give right then to have Kid hold her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

She did not know how long it was that she sat curled up on the floor, but finally she felt herself begin to pull out of the overwhelming fear that consumed her. When she thought that she could move without the bout of nausea and dizziness repeating itself, she rose slowly to her feet. Not wanting the maids to clean up the mess she had made, Lou carried the washbasin over to one of the windows, opened it and hurriedly dumped its sour-smelling contents under the ground below. Luckily, for her, she had been given a room whose windows faced the back of the hotel. Hopefully the puddle below would be absorbed into the ground by noon. After rinsing her mouth and the basin out, and washing her face and hands, Lou hurried downstairs and out of the hotel.

She went to the livery and procured a horse and buggy from Avery, as he was already busy replacing Lightning's shoes and drove carefully out of town. There was a smaller settlement called Log Chain about ten miles further south and it was there that Lou had decided that she would put her plan into action. It took her about an hour to arrive into the town and she immediately started looking for a general store or a dress shop. Luck was with her when she spotted a small dress shop off the side of the general store. She pulled the carriage to a stop in front of the dress shop and went inside. A young woman with blond hair, blue eyes and a big smile hurried forward to greet her.

"And what might I help you with today sir?" she asked. Her blue eyes raked over Lou with interest. Lou tried not to squirm under the woman's scrutiny. When people did that, it often made her feel like they could see right through her disguise. She knew that women tended to be more intuitive at recognizing other women and she hurried to draw attention off herself.

"I'm looking to buy a dress for my sister. Something nice, but in a serviceable fabric like cotton or calico. My sister is a schoolmarm and she tends to dress a little severe for her age. I know she must keep up with appearances and dress proper, but I would like to see her in something a little more frivolous. Since she will not buy it for herself, I decided that I would. It's for her birthday." Lou said gruffly.

"I think you might be able to find something that would suit your sister on this rack over here." The young woman said, leading Lou over to a wall on the far side of the shop. It did not take her long to find one in a deep, rose-colored fabric. Black lace lined the collar, wrists and hems of the dress and six shining black buttons marched down the bodice of the dress. Embroidered roses in a shade of pink, two shades lighter than the color of the dress, lined the bottom of the skirt. Two of the same embroidered roses lined either side of the v-necked collar.

"I think that my sister would like this dress." Lou said, running her hand up the silky smooth fabric.

"That is a beautiful choice. Your sister is lucky to have a brother as thoughtful as you are. Would you like to purchase anything else today?" By the time she exited the store, Lou had spent a large amount of the money she had brought with her. She loaded her packages into the buggy and headed back towards Seneca. When she reached Seneca, Lou returned the horse and carriage to the livery, and then hurried back to the hotel with her purchases. Almost with reverence, Lou removed the dress from the box that the dressmaker in Log Chain had wrapped it in. She slipped into the undergarments she had purchased and then pulled the dress on over her head. It was amazing at how perfectly the style of the dress seemed to accentuate the shape of her body perfectly. After admiring her reflection in the floor  
length mirror that stood in a corner of the hotel room, Lou set to work on her hair.

Within an hour of returning to Seneca, Lou found herself slipping quietly down the servant's staircase at the back of the hotel, and out the back door. She made her way down the small alley between the stores for two or three blocks, before moving out onto the sidewalk. She headed down the sidewalk toward the direction of the doctor's office. As she neared the doctor's office, she paused and took a deep breath, before continuing up the walk of the cozy little house where the doctor lived. She rang the bell and waited until the door was opened. An elderly woman with a kind face opened the door and gestured her inside. The woman led Lou into a room that had once served as a parlor to the previous owner's, but was now used as a waiting room for patients.

"Would you like some tea or coffee while you're waiting?" the woman asked Lou.

Lou declined politely, as her queasy stomach began to do flip-flops. Whether it was from the earlier bout with nausea or the nervousness, she was feeling Lou did not know, but she hoped fervently that she would not get sick while she was waiting to see the doctor. "Dr. Leeds is in with a patient right now, but you can wait in here until he finishes." The woman told Lou and then left the room.

The wait was excruciating for Lou. She did not know what was worse; not knowing what was wrong with her or the knowledge that she was about to find out. Either way had her scared to death. Not knowing what was wrong with her was hard enough for her to handle, but what if the doctor told her that she had some incurable disease. Lou had herself almost in tears again, by the time the waiting room door opened again and she was led into another room that served as the examining room.

"Now young lady, how may I help you?" The doctor asked kindly, motioning for Lou to sit down on the examining table. The kind look in the doctor's eyes were nearly her Lou's undoing. In broken sentences, Lou described the symptoms she had been having for the past couple of weeks. The doctor listened attentively, then removed a cotton gown from a cupboard and requested her to put it on. He left the room while she changed, then invited her to lie down on the examining room table. After the examination was over, he allowed her time to get dressed, and then returned to the room.

"Mrs. McCloud, I am happy to tell you that you are expecting." The doctor said gently.

"Expecting what?" Lou asked, clearly puzzled by his sentence.

"A baby. Mrs. McCloud, you're pregnant."

"I'm what?" Lou squealed.

**Chapter 7**

"I'm what?" Lou squealed again, not at all certain that she had heard what he had said correctly.

"You're going to have a baby. At the end of December, early January, judging by the degree of symptoms you've been having." The elderly doctor told her as he sat down in a chair across from her. He watched her in sympathetic silence, as she tried to digest the surprising news he had just given her.

Lou stared at him in stunned disbelief. She had imagined all sorts of terrible things that the doctor could diagnose her with having. All of the scenarios she had envisioned had been frightening to her and all of them had ended with her dying. Not once had she ever thought about the fact that she could be pregnant. Never had she stopped to think about the possibility that she and Kid had conceived a child together. Not one single time.

A wave of emotions flitted across the young woman's face, as what he had told her sunk in. The first emotion that swept through Lou was an intense feeling of relief. The tension that had corded her neck and shoulder muscles into a painful knot, relaxed and suddenly felt so much lighter. She had not realized how tight they had become over the past week, until she felt the tension drain out of them. Knowing that she was not going to die, brought a slight smile to her face that brightened as she thought about the baby. An incredible feeling of joy swept over her as she thought about the tiny life she carried inside of her. A life she and Kid had created together.

Just as quickly as the thought of the baby had filled her with joy, it was replaced with apprehension. Things between her and Kid were about as bad as they could be right now. Even though she had promised Kid that they would talk when she returned to Rock Creek, there were not any signs to indicate that they would get back together. A lot of angry, spiteful things had been said, and many hurtful things had been done. There was just too much hurt between them now, to even think that they could possibly get back together. She just didn't know. Until she knew for sure where they stood, she did not intend to tell Kid about the baby. It would just be too hurtful to both of them

Then there was Jimmy, and the kiss that they had shared before she left Rock Creek. Never had she ever imagined a relationship with Jimmy, other than the tenuous friendship that they shared. Jimmy was not a man who shared his thoughts or feelings easily. She knew from experience. She still regretted the way she had pushed Jimmy into showing Sarah Downs his true feelings for her. Jimmy's relationship with Sarah had ended badly, almost to the extreme of Jimmy being hung for a murder he did not commit. It was her anger towards Kid and the way their relationship was progressing that, she had encouraged Jimmy to tell Sarah how much she meant to him.

After the bungled affair with Sarah, Jimmy had further withdrawn into the hard exterior he presented to the outside world. Not once did Jimmy ever say anything to Lou that would lead her to believe that she was to blame for his broken heart, but Lou felt it just the same. That was why it had been so surprising to her that Jimmy had turned out to be her staunchest supporter where her relationship with Kid was concerned. While the other boys had taken pains to not become involved, Jimmy had made an effort to tell Kid exactly how he felt about the way he was treating Lou.

While his interference often exasperated her and enraged Kid, Lou knew that it was just Jimmy's way of showing her how he felt about her. It had also been Jimmy who had sought her out repeatedly to go riding, on a picnic or into town. Jimmy had consoled her repeatedly, as she tried to sort through her feelings for Kid. Not once had she ever imagined that Jimmy's feelings had changed for her. She had just been grateful for the attention he had given her and had felt honored to have such a wonderful friend as Jimmy Hickok.

Knowing how Jimmy now felt about her, made things between them different. She did not know how different exactly, just that they were. Never again would she make the mistake in thinking that Jimmy was just being nice to her. Not that she thought that he had had an ulterior motive these past few months, in making sure that she and Kid stayed apart. She knew Jimmy well enough to know that he would never play dirty, no matter what was at stake, including his own feelings. She had the sneaking suspicion that Jimmy would have never told her how he really felt about her, if he had not become jealous over seeing her and Kid talking. The knowledge alone that he felt so passionately for her sent a wave of shivers racing down her spine.

"Mrs. McCloud, are you alright? Do I need to get my spelling salts? Emily, grab that blue bottle on the shelf and bring it here! Then bring me some water quickly! Mrs. McCloud appears to be going into shock!"

The sound of the doctor's raised voice close to her brought Lou out of her prolonged reverie. She blinked her eyes and was about to speak, when the doctor placed a bottle of foul smelling liquid under nose. Lou pulled away from the doctor, sneezed, and angrily rose out of her chair.

"What the hell is that stuff? What are you trying to do, poison me or something?" she shouted angrily.

The doctor and his wife stood looking at her in shocked silence. It was obvious to them that the young woman before them had taken leave of her senses. Taking in their shocked expressions at her enraged outburst, Lou blushed and then retook her seat.

"I'm, I'm sorry. I just don't know what's come over me," she stammered, "This has just been so shocking."

She sighed, and glanced down at her reticule. Hopefully the doctor and his wife would fall for her act and simply overwrought by the news she had been given and over look her terrible outburst. She fought the sudden urge to laugh as she again took in the elderly couple's shocked expressions. Obviously, they were not used to people reacting so oddly to their medical ministrations.

*Maybe if I tear up a little, they'll forgive me.* She thought to herself. *Course tearing up will not be too difficult thanks to that horrible stuff they put under my nose.* She said, wrinkling her nose distastefully at the bottle the doctor still held in his hand.

"Why that's alright dear. You don't worry yourself at all about that little episode; it's as good as forgotten." The doctor's wife said hurriedly, snapping out of her shocked silence. She gave her husband a concerned look and then exited the room. The doctor replaced the stopper on the bottle he still held, set the bottle down and then returned to his own seat.

"Now, is there anything you would like to know concerning your pregnancy?" he asked Lou.

"I want to know why I'm getting sick and how long it will last." Lou asked, relieved that they had fallen for her act.

"What you are experiencing is morning sickness and it usually affects women in very different ways, although the symptoms are very similar," the doctor began. Lou leaned forward and listened carefully to what the doctor was saying. Although she did not quite understand everything he was telling her, Lou understood one thing for certain, this baby was going to change her life forever.

**Chapter 8**

Jimmy galloped into the way station yard and handed the mochilla over to Cody. He reined in Sundancer and walked him over to the barn. Buck appeared in the entrance to the barn and smiled up at him.

"Hard ride, Jimmy?" Buck asked as Jimmy dismounted.

Jimmy snorted. "Hard isn't the word for it. A certain band of Indians decided that I would make excellent fuel for their cook fires last night. I had to explain otherwise."

"You okay?" Buck asked with concern, his dark eyes raking over Jimmy, searching for any signs of tears or holes in Jimmy's coat that would alert him to an injury as he waited for Hickok's response.

"Yeah. I made it to Ft. Laramie all right. I just made the mistake of letting the commanding officer overhear me telling some boys in the saloon about the fight I had with them. He was not going to let me leave, until I told him that I would give a full report to my employers about his involvement with trying to delay outgoing mail. He decided that he had made a serious mistake and told me I could go. 'Course, the fact that I had drawn one of my guns might have made his decision easier." Jimmy told him.

"One of these days, Jimmy, that anger of yours is going to get you into some serious trouble." Buck laughed wryly.

"But today, it's going to get me to bed sooner. Take care of my horse for me." Jimmy said, handing his horse's reins to Buck. Buck nodded and led the horse into the barn.

Jimmy moved slowly toward the bunkhouse, every muscle in body aching with exhaustion. Wearily he climbed the bunkhouse steps and entered the bunkhouse. He paused beside the door to remove his gun belt and hang it up on the pegs beside the door. Not wearing their guns in the bunkhouse was a rule that had been started when Emma had been the housekeeper and Rachel continued to enforce it. He moved to his bunk, sat down on it and began struggling to remove his boots. He had barely lain down on his bunk and closed his eyes, when the bunkhouse door opened and he recognized the sound of Rachel's footsteps on the floor.

"Jimmy, can I talk to you for a minute?"

He opened his eyes and sat up. Rachel stood beside the table looking over at him with a hesitant expression on her face. The look on her face puzzled him and made him wonder what it was she wanted to know. Jimmy nodded reluctantly. More than anything, he wanted to be left alone so he could sleep, but obviously, what Rachel wanted to talk to him was more important. When another minute or so went by and Rachel did not say anything, he grew increasingly alarmed.

"Is something wrong Rachel? Do you want me to get Teaspoon and the boys? Is it Lou?" he asked quickly.

It was the last three words that Jimmy spoke that caught Rachel's attention. "No, nothing's wrong Jimmy. You know that I would never try to butt into your business Jimmy, don't you? And you know that you can tell me anything, don't you?" Rachel said quickly.

"I know that. Why do you ask?" Jimmy questioned her. He had a feeling Rachel's questions were going to lead to conversation he did not want to get into. His feelings towards Lou were no one else's business, but his own. He was not about to discuss them with Rachel or anyone else. At least not right now. "I'm really tired Rachel. Could we talk later?"

A pained look crossed Rachel's face. "Sure, Jimmy." She said and left the bunkhouse.

*Damn!* Jimmy thought as he lay back down on the bunk and closed his eyes again. *I really did not mean to hurt her feelings, but I don't want to talk about Lou right now. I just want to go to sleep.* He made a note to himself to apologize to Rachel for brushing her off and then concentrated on going to sleep. He would feel so much better once had some sleep.

**Chapter 9**

Jimmy awoke with a start, as the bunkhouse door flew open and slammed against the wall closest to his bunk. He toppled out of the bunk, onto his knees, his hands instinctively going for the guns at his sides. Cody looked at him shocked surprise, his heart pounding with adrenaline, clearly believing he was about to die. If it wasn't for Jimmy recognizing him at the last moment and the knowledge that Jimmy's silver handled Colts were hanging on a peg before him, he knew he would have been a goner.

"Jesus, Jimmy, what's your problem? Are you trying to scare me to death?" Cody exclaimed angrily, taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart.

"Maybe next time you'll think twice about slamming the door while I'm in here sleeping!" Jimmy retorted angrily, his gray eyes narrowing dangerously.

The two riders eyed each other for several moments, while the other riders rolled with laughter. Noah sank into a chair and tried to catch his breath. "You should have seen your face, Cody! It was paler than a new baby's bottom!"

Ike beat on his chest with his hands to get the others' attention. His body shook with silent laughter, making it hard for the others to understand. Almost as if he could read Ike's thoughts, Buck sputtered, "Ike said that was the fastest draw he had ever seen Jimmy make. He also said it was too bad Jimmy did it while he was still half-asleep!"

Fresh peals of laughter rang out over what Ike had said. Buck and Ike clung together as they laughed, Jesse rolled on the floor, holding his side and Kid leaned against the door as he roared with laughter. Cody and Jimmy glared at their fellow riders', neither believing that the incident in question was the least bit funny.  
Catching sight of the enraged expressions on both Jimmy and Cody's faces only seemed to increase their fellow riders' laughter. It was to this bizarre scene that Rachel and Teaspoon walked into a few minutes later.

"What in the world is going on here?" Rachel asked, as her eyes began to twinkle.

A wide grin spread across Teaspoon's face as, the riders explained what had happened in broken sentences. Both Rachel and Teaspoon burst out laughing. Gradually, the laughing began to dwindle down. By the time that it had, both Jimmy and Cody had given up their enraged expressions for sheepish grins.

"If you boys are all done laughing, maybe you could give me some room while I start supper." Rachel asked.

"Do we have enough time before supper to go out to the waterhole?" Cody asked.

"Supper should be ready in about an hour or so." Rachel said.

"I think that's a good idea boys. Nothing like a nice cool swim to get the appetite going." Teaspoon said.

Teaspoon was the first one out the door, the others following close behind. As Kid was about to close the door, he noticed Jimmy standing near his bunk. Knowing that they had a long way to go to repair the rift in their friendship, Kid decided that there was no better time than the present.

"Aren't you going to come Jimmy?" he asked, waiting to hear Jimmy's response.

Rachel looked up from the potato she was peeling, glancing quickly at Kid and then Jimmy. She guessed by the hopeful expression on Kid's face, that this question meant more to him than what it should. She only hoped that Jimmy realized it too.

Jimmy smiled at Kid. He knew Kid well enough to know that he was asking him to go because he meant it. He also knew that this was Kid's way of taking a step to try to repair the rift that currently existed in their friendship. The least he could do was make the same effort.

"I'll be along directly. First, there's something that I need to discuss with Rachel." Jimmy told him. Rachel turned to look at him with surprise evident on her face.

"Do you want me to wait for you?" Kid asked.

"No, you go on ahead." Jimmy told him.

Kid nodded and closed the door. Jimmy waited until Kid had left the bunkhouse, before turning towards Rachel.

"I wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier." Jimmy told her quietly.

Tears filled Rachel's green eyes at Jimmy's softly spoken apology. She knew how hard it was for Jimmy to admit that he was wrong, and was touched even more by it.

"Thank you, Jimmy." Rachel said and turned back to her peeling, thinking that the apology was the only reason Jimmy had stayed to talk to her.

"I love Lou." Jimmy said softly.

Rachel turned to him in surprise. After what he had said earlier, she had given up the idea of trying to talk to him about what she had witnessed the day before. Knowing how hard it was for Jimmy to talk about his feelings, she had decided not to bring the subject up to him again. Having him bring up the subject, clearly took her by surprise. It also made her feel good to know that Jimmy felt he could trust her enough to share his feelings with her.

"I know, Jimmy." She told him.

Her admission surprised him. "How did you know?"

"I really didn't know exactly how you felt about Lou. I just felt that something had changed between the two of you. It wasn't until yesterday morning, that I knew for sure." Rachel told him.

Jimmy's eyes widened in surprise as he realized that Rachel must have seen him kiss Lou. Rachel watched as he took in what she had told him. She grew concerned as his face reddened and his eyes darkened.

"I bet you think I'm the biggest fool there is! Kissing Lou like that, outside where anyone could see! I don't care though! I love Lou and I don't regret any of it!" he shouted at her.

'Jimmy, I don't think you're foolish, really I don't! I just want you to be" Rachel's words tapered off, as the bunkhouse door flew open. "-cautious."

Kid stood in the open doorway, his face reddened with anger. He had decided to wait for Jimmy at the barn, thinking that the ride out to the watering hole would give them an opportunity to talk. As the time went on, and Jimmy did not appear, he had decided to go back to the bunkhouse and see what was keeping him. He had just stepped onto the porch, when Jimmy's raised voice reached his ears.

"Look Kid, it's not what you're thinking." Rachel began, clearly trying to diffuse an explosive fight between the two riders before it erupted. "Jimmy and I were just talking. He was just telling me"

"I heard what he said Rachel. I should have known that you had an ulterior motive for trying to keep Lou and I apart. You want Lou for yourself! I'm letting you know here and now, Jimmy that I don't plan on giving Lou up without a fight!" Kid declared angrily.

Jimmy's eyes narrowed. "That suits me just fine Kid! Hope you're prepared for quite a fight, Kid, cause I've never lost one yet!"

"You bet I am!" Kid said, fiercely. "I don't know how to lose. I keep trying and trying until I succeed in getting what I want!"

"You boys stop it right now!" Rachel declared angrily. "You boys are talking about Lou like she's some prized horse that you both want! Lou's a woman, with her own thoughts and feelings! You just can't play around with her feelings like that! 'Sides, after what happened yesterday, I'd be surprised if she has anything to do with either of you!"

"We'll just have to make it easier for her to decide." Jimmy said. He held out his hand for Kid to shake. Kid hesitated a moment for grasping it and shaking it roughly. "Right, Kid."

"Right, Jimmy." Kid declared with a determined look in his eyes.

Rachel shook her head in utter disgust. "What am I going to do with you two boys?"

**Chapter 10**

Lou walked slowly back to the hotel, her head clouded with all the information the doctor had given her about having a baby. He had explained to her that the awful symptoms she had been experiencing: the nausea, dizziness, and vomiting was all part of something called morning sickness. He explained that women who were carrying a child often experienced these feelings, as well as many others. As gently as he could he had explained to her that as her pregnancy continued she would feel her body begin to make changes as the baby inside of her continued to grow. Her breasts would swell with milk and would become tender to the touch, her stomach would expand to provide room for the growing child, and her arms and legs would fill out more.

He also explained that she might start to experience strange cravings for foods she didn't now eat, or had never liked before. Some of these cravings would also make her mix some of her foods with things they did not naturally go with like: pickles dipped in mashed potatoes or onions sprinkled with sugar. Whatever the cravings she had, he explained were a natural part of the pregnancy and that she should not become alarmed by them. He did caution her that any foods in excess would not be good for her or the baby, and could result in her having a lot of unwanted weight after the baby was born.

Before she had left, Dr. Leeds expressed how important it was for her to have a doctor check her over regularly as the pregnancy continued. While he talked, the doctor had gone to a cupboard in the room and began looking through several colored bottles, until he came to a dark green one, and removed it from the cupboard. As she watched, Lou saw him pick up what looked like to be some kind of odd shaped utensil and dip it into the bottle. Dr. Leeds picked up a folded sheaf of paper and proceeded to pour a pale yellow powder into the paper. When he was finished, measuring the powder out, he closed part of the sheaf of paper over and handed it to Lou. He explained that the yellow powder was potassium carbonate and if help to soothe her would stomach during her bouts of morning sickness. He had instructed her on how much to take each morning when she woke up and then saw her to the door.

It was not until she was beginning to walk away, that she thought to question him on whether or not it would be safe for her to ride a horse in her condition.

"Dr. Leeds, will it harm the baby if I rode a horse. I do a lot of riding and I just wanted to know if it could cause any harm to the baby."

She had held her breath as she waited for the doctor, hoping that he would tell her it was okay to ride. She just had to be able to ride! She had a job to do and one she enjoyed very much! Not only did she have to return to Rock Creek tomorrow, she had a mochilla full of mail to deliver to the next rider. She knew that eventually she would have to give up her job as the pregnancy continued. There was just no way that she would be able to hide a bulging belly from the Pony Express family or anyone else in Rock Creek. She needed time to decide what she was going to do. There was just too much for her to consider before she made a definite decision. She just needed time to think.

She had been relieved when the doctor had answered her a few minutes later. "I don't see no reason why at this stage of your pregnancy that riding should do any harm to the baby, allowing that you don't take any unnecessary risks."

*I'm a Pony Express rider.* Lou thought sarcastically, before speaking. *We don't know how NOT to take risks!* "Oh, I'll be very careful." She promised.* Yeah right, Lou. How can you be careful on a galloping horse, going across uninhabited country where every turn presents some kind of danger to you and your horse.* She added as she thanked the doctor and walked away.

*It was all so much to think about.* Lou thought as she walked. *I just don't know what I'm going to do. I know that I won't be able to stay long at the way station, unless I tell Kid and the others about the pregnancy. It isn't as if I can hide the fact that I'm pregnant, like I hid my true identity from them. That had been easy compared to this! All I had to do was cut my hair short, wear glasses and dress in boys clothing! If it wasn't for me getting shot on my first run, or the boys helping me rescue Jeremiah and Theresa, or Teaspoon jumping into the waterhole, nobody would have known. In this case, my body is going to play havoc on my appearance, until only a blind man couldn't tell what was wrong with me!*

She chuckled wryly to herself. She definitely wasn't mistaken when she thought that this baby was going to change her life forever. Even though she was still undecided on what she was going to do, she knew that she would not change anything. She had always dreamed of having a baby and now she finally was. Although, she had to admit, that things had not worked out exactly how she had planned her life to be when she found out she was pregnant. The bottom line was that she was pregnant and she wanted the baby more than anything else she had dreamed of having, including Kid. Well, truth be told, she had a piece of Kid that she would never, ever lose.

**Chapter 11**

"Rider coming," Rachel called out from the bunkhouse steps.

"That's me." Buck called out, as he raced out of the bunkhouse and leaped onto Racing Moon's back in one fluid movement.

He kicked the chestnut into movement, as Lou and Lightning bounded up. Lou held out the mochilla towards Buck and he took it.

"Have a safe ride, Buck!" Lou called out after him, as she reined Lightning to a stop. She swung nimbly off his back and turned to lead him to the barn.

"Here, Lou, let me do that." Kid called out softly, stepping off the porch and walking towards her.

Lou looked at him in surprise, but quietly handed him the reins. "Thanks, Kid."

"Your welcome." Kid said, walking away from her with Lightning.

Lou turned towards Rachel in shocked disbelief. "Was that Kid or am I imagining things? He was barely talking to me when I left and now, two days later, he is offering to care for my horse. What went on around here while I was gone?"

Rachel smiled at her bewilderment. She had already decided not to tell Lou about the conversation she had been a witness to between Jimmy and Kid. She would not say anything to Lou about the agreement Kid and Jimmy had made, unless she saw Lou being hurt by the two rider's rivalry for her love. She just hoped that she would not end up regretting her decision to keep quiet about the whole thing.

"I couldn't tell you, Lou. Maybe, Kid's decided that it's time things got settled between the two of you. I for one, hope so. It would be nice to see a little loving going on around here, instead of fighting." Rachel declared.

"Rachel." Lou exclaimed, her face turning red with embarrassment at what the housekeeper had just said. She didn't dare hope that what Rachel said was right. It would just be too painful for her to get her hopes up that she and Kid would get back together, and not have it come true. She had to think about what was best for the baby now.

*Are you really thinking about the baby, Lou? Or are you thinking about yourself? Shouldn't Kid get to decide whether he wants to be a father? Don't you think you are being unfair to Kid and the baby? Don't you want the baby to grow up knowing how wonderful a man is father is?* The little voice inside her head told her.

Lou stubbornly pushed the thought away. She told herself that not telling Kid about the baby was the best thing for everyone concerned. She did not want to tell Kid about the baby, and then have to live through the agony of not knowing whether he was with her because he loved her, or simply because he felt obliged to raise a child he had helped conceive. She would not do that to herself, Kid, or the baby. This way was better. At least there would only be one person hurting, and not three.

**Chapter 12**

Lou, honey, are you alright?" Rachel asked as she stood on the porch of the bunkhouse and studied the silent young woman's profile.

After Lou's initial reaction to the comment she had made about thinking it was time ' there was a little more loving, instead of fighting' going on around the way station, Lou had grown quiet. Now as Rachel stood beside her and studied her profile, she became increasingly worried that there was something really troubling Lou. From where she stood, Rachel could see that Lou's eyebrows were bunched together and that the tips of her mouth were turned downward, clear signs to Rachel that the female rider was deep in thought and she wondered what Lou was thinking about.

She stepped off the porch and went to stand before Lou, hoping that by doing so, that Lou would snap out of her concentrated reverie and talk to her. Rachel knew that there wasn't anything really she could do to ease this troubling time for Lou, at least, nothing except for listening to Lou if she wanted to talk. She knew all too well how painful things could be when it came to matters of the heart. She had had her own heart broken many times as she was growing up, and the one ache that remained was watching Henry being murdered and the death of her unborn baby. There were times, still, that the burden of their loss would overwhelm her and send tears of anguish rushing to the surface.

Even though the memories of her husband were still with her and often tormented her, Rachel had never been happier before in her life. From the very first moment she had stepped into Emma Shannon's shoes and became the new housekeeper and cook for the Sweetwater Pony Express Way station, she had known her life would never be the same again. Even though there had been opposition between her and Lou at first, and she had to set the boys straight on a few things *Particularly Cody*, she knew that she had finally found a home with people who loved and respected her for who she was. She loved all the boys, Jesse, and Lou, and would do anything for them. Teaspoon…well, Teaspoon made her heart feel something that she had never thought she would feel again…'course, he didn't know it. She was not sure she would ever tell him, either. She rather liked the fact that they had such an easy-going relationship, and she did not want to do anything that might jeopardize that relationship.

Rachel reached out and lightly took hold of Lou's arm and repeated her previous question. This time Rachel was rewarded with a response. Lou shook her head as if to clear her thoughts and looked up into Rachel's concerned face. Realizing that she must have been standing there for several moments in silence, Lou felt her face flush with embarrassment. As concerned as she had been on the run back to Rock Creek about not doing or saying anything to raise her family's suspicions, here she was losing herself in thought in front of Rachel. Hurriedly she tried to think of something she could say that would explain her prolonged silence. Finally, she decided that she would just be as honest as she could be, without admitting more than she had to.

"Huh? Oh, Rachel. Did you ask me something?" she asked absentmindedly.

"I just wanted to know if you were alright. You seemed so lost in thought." Rachel told her.

"Yeah, I guess I was." Lou told her.

"What were you thinking about?" Rachel prodded gently, giving Lou an opening to talk a bout whatever had been troubling her.

"Kid, mostly." Lou admitted. "Look, Rachel, I'd really like to wash some of this trail dust off of me and get some rest. Could we talk later?"

Rachel nodded. "Sure. You go on and get some rest. I have some chores to be be done before supper. Otherwise we won't be eating till midnight, and I'd hate to see what would happen if we made Cody wait that long to eat!"

Lou burst out laughing, as she stepped onto the bunkhouse porch and went inside. Rachel did have a point though. Patience was definitely a virtue that William F. Cody wasn't given at birth. Keeping Cody from eating when his bottomless pit of stomach was demanding to be fed, and he became downright dangerous. He was like a dog with a bone. The dog could be as friendly and loveable as anything when there was no food in sight, but as soon as the dog's given a bone you'd be risking life and limb if you got to close to the dog or the bone.

She was still laughing at the joke that Rachel had made as she entered the bunkhouse and went to her bunk. Lou untied the string that held her bedroll together, and began to remove her belongings from it. Carefully she removed the dress she had purchased while she was gone and held it against her. She walked over to the mirror in the corner and stood admiring herself before it. It wasn't until another figure appeared in the mirror behind her, that Lou realized that she wasn't alone in the bunkhouse. She whirled around, heat spreading over her face at being caught admiring herself.

Jimmy had been asleep on his bunk when she had entered the bunkhouse, and had awakened to the sound of her laughter. He didn't really care about what it was that she was laughing at, just enjoyed listening to the sound of her laughter. He hadn't realized that it had been so long since he had heard the melodious sound and he found that he had missed it. There hadn't been much lately that had cheered Lou enough to make her laugh and he was reluctant to say or do anything that would cease her laughter.

It wasn't until she pulled out the beautiful dress and held it before her that he pulled himself silently off the bunk and walked toward her. He stopped a short distance away from her and gazed into the mirror at her reflection. He had to admit that the reflection he saw there was enough to make any man stare. Lou held the dress below her chin and he could see that the color of the dress was a deep red color that seemed to make her doe eyes light up becomingly. The style of the dress was simple and seemed to fit the outline of her petite frame perfectly. He couldn't wait to see what she would like in the dress. He didn't have time to do anything else, before Lou's eyes widened in the mirror as she noticed him in it and she whirled around.

"What the hell are you doing sneaking up on me like that Jimmy?" Lou declared angrily, her heart pounding in her chest.

Jimmy smiled in spite of himself at her outburst. He expected he had it coming for not alerting her to his presence. It would have been uncomfortable to both of them if Lou, believing that she was alone in the bunkhouse, had decided to change out of the dusty clothes she wore. Course, he didn't think he would have mind as much as Lou would have.

"Sorry, Lou. I didn't mean to scare you. I just woke up and saw you standing there so I thought I would come say hello." Jimmy told her, trying to make amends.

Lou smiled wryly at him. "Sorry, Jimmy. I just didn't think that anyone was in here. When I saw your reflection in the mirror it startled me."

"That's okay, Lou. I'm just thankful that you didn't go for your gun. I scared the hell out of Cody yesterday." Jimmy told her, telling her about the incident that had happened the afternoon before.

They were still laughing over the story that Jimmy had told her, when Kid entered the bunkhouse a few minutes later. The laughter drained from Lou's lips as she saw Kid, clearly expecting that an argument between him and Jimmy would ensue. Jimmy and Kid seemed to stare at each other for a few moments in silence. Then Kid smiled ever so slightly and said," I was wondering if you would like to go for a ride after you've rested up some Lou."

Lou's mouth dropped open in surprise. Kid and Jimmy both notice Lou's reaction and quickly hid their amusement. Clearly, they both thought to themselves, Lou had been expecting them to tear into each other as they had done before she had left.

"Sure, Kid, I'd like that." Lou told him.

This time Kid's face lit up in a genuine smile. "Great. That sure is a pretty dress Lou." He told her before exiting the bunkhouse.

Lou stared after him in amazement for the second time in the short while she had been back at the way station. Jimmy smiled at her bewilderment, but inside he was seething. _You might have made the first move Kid, but I'll be the one making the last move,_ he vowed to himself, before he left the bunkhouse too, leaving Lou alone with her thoughts.

**Chapter 13**

When he had entered the bunkhouse earlier and found Jimmy with Lou, Kid's first impulse was to rush forward and pound Jimmy's head into the wall until he had managed to wipe the cocky grin off Hickok's face. He resisted the urge to do, forcing back the rush of anger and jealousy that was swirling around inside of him. He knew that if he said or did anything to provoke a fight between him and Jimmy, it would only further alienate Lou from him… and that was something he definitely did not want to happen.

Instead of beating Jimmy senseless, he took a deep breath to calm himself. He mentally took control of the raging emotions inside of him and let the anger and jealousy drain out of him. So what if Lou and Jimmy had been talking and laughing together. They had a right to talk and joke with one another without anyone trying to make more out of it than what it was: two friends sharing events that had happened during the past couple of days. He should know that by now. Just because he knew Jimmy's real feelings for Lou, did not necessarily mean that Lou was aware of them. They all knew how carefully Jimmy guarded his thoughts and emotions from everyone else. There was a strong chance that Jimmy would never get up the nerve to actually say or do anything to make Lou aware of how he really felt about her.

That thought alone made him feel so much better about the whole situation. If that thought alone weren't enough to make the last of his jealousy and anger drain away, then the odd expression on Lou's face would have. He had noticed how her soft eyes had lit with love for a fraction of a second, when she had first seen him. Now they had a hooded, guarded look to them, as if Lou was purposely trying to keep her inner feelings from shining through. He had never seen such a strange expression in Lou's eyes before and it puzzled him. Lou was not a person who hid any of her thoughts from anyone that she loved. She was as open with her feelings, as Jimmy was closed with his.

Never in their entire friendship had Lou given him such a look before, and he could not help feeling that he did not have anyone else to blame but himself. The look made him even more determined to work things out between him and Lou. Even if they never got back together as a couple, he wanted Lou to know that she could always trust him enough to share her feelings with him.

As soon as he had his emotions under control, he had pointedly ignored the scowl that Jimmy was shooting at him and had asked, "I was wondering if you would like to go for a ride after you've rested up some, Lou."

The drastic change in Lou's expression was enough to make him want to laugh.

Instead, he bit his lip and waited, hopeful, for her to respond to his question. When she had agreed to accompany him on a ride later, he could not help smiling at her. He could not keep from throwing Jimmy a triumphant smile before exiting the bunkhouse. He stepped off the porch and headed in the direction of the barn. He still had a lot of work to do in the barn. He did not know what had possessed him to tell Teaspoon that he would sort through the barrels of used tack that needed to be mended or tossed. Yes, he did, he had wanted to stay around the way station and wait for Lou to get back so that he would have the chance to talk to her before Jimmy did. Lou was definitely worth the long and tedious job ahead of him.

**Chapter 14**

He had barely stepped off the porch and started towards the barn, when he heard the bunkhouse door open and close behind him. He did not have to turn around to know who it was. He knew who it was without looking. Jimmy. Tension filled his neck and shoulders as he continued towards the barn.

There was no way he was going to get into an argument with Jimmy so close to the bunkhouse. He did not want to take the risk that Lou could overhear anything that might upset her. He knew without a doubt that if Lou found out that he and Jimmy had made at her expense, that Lou would never forgive him or Jimmy. He was not about to do anything else to hurt Lou, at least not intentionally.

_Then stop this bet while you have the chance to do so. Is beating Jimmy worth the risk of losing Lou forever?_ The little voice that was his conscience told him. _Do you want to take the chance that Lou will find out about the little bet you made with Jimmy? Don't you realize how devastating a realization will do to Lou's already fragile confidence? She won't see it as you willing to do anything to win her back, she'll see herself as the Ace in the stack of cards you have against Jimmy. There is no way that she will ever forgive you or Jimmy for hurting her!_

Stubbornly he pushed the voice aside. He didn't need anyone or anything to make him feel guiltier than he already did. He knew that there was a strong possibility of Lou finding out about the bet he and Jimmy had made regarding her, but he was willing to take that chance if it meant that he would have her back in his life. He wasn't about to sit idly by and watch as Jimmy stole her away from him. There was no way he was going to do that. It didn't take long for Jimmy to fall into step beside him. Jimmy said nothing as they continued towards the barn, and Kid felt relieved.

Obviously, Jimmy felt the same way he did. Neither of them wanted to risk the chance of Lou overhearing their conversation and being hurt by it. A soft smile played across his lips. There was one thing that he and Jimmy still agreed on. The moment they stepped into the barn, the forced silence ended.

"Do you really think that asking Lou to go on a ride with Lou is going to make up for all the hurt that you caused her?" Jimmy said angrily.

"I am so sick and tired of you butting into mine and Lou's business! If it wasn't for all your 'helpful' suggestions, Lou and I probably wouldn't be in this mess in the first place." Kid retorted.

"Don't go blaming all your foolish behavior on me and the other boys! It is because of your own foolish pride and jealousy that got you into the mess with Lou, not anything any of us told you! All of us tried to tell you to leave Lou alone, to let her make choices for herself, but you would not listen. Not only did you continually pester her about being careful, but you even moved all of her belongings out of the bunkhouse and into Rachel's place while Lou was out on a ride! No, you got your own self into trouble with Lou! Now, I'm telling you to just back off and leave her alone!"

"You're telling me to back off and leave Lou alone. Who in the hell do you think you are, Jimmy, to tell me to back off and leave Lou alone. You're not Lou's father, her brother or even her boyfriend! How dare you think that I am just going to back off and let you have Lou! I love Lou and there is nothing going to stop me from getting her back! Nothing!" Kid shouted.

"I'm not going to stand by and watch you hurt her again! If you really loved her, you would let her go! You would allow Lou to be happy with whomever she chooses to live her life with!" Jimmy told him.

"I suppose that you think that if I leave Lou alone, that she is going to choose you. Talk about wishful dreaming. What kind of life can you offer her Jimmy? One filled with fear and violence, that's what kind! At least Lou won't ever have to worry about taking a bullet meant for me!" Kid snarled spitefully, enjoying the painful expression that came over Jimmy's face. His words had hit home. Jimmy's reputation as a gunfighter had already endangered all of their lives, Lou's more than once. It was the last thing he remembered before Jimmy punched him.

**Chapter 15**

After Kid and Jimmy had exited the bunkhouse, Lou finished putting away her belongings. Then she gathered a up a clean change of clothing and a towel and headed out of the bunkhouse. She stepped out onto the porch and turned towards the left, leaping off the porch. She turned the corner and approached the two; stall-like compartments Teaspoon had insisted be built when they had moved to Rock Creek from Sweetwater. The whole way station had to be rebuilt, after some men who were interested in dividing the citizens of Rock Creek into opposing factions torched the previous station: abolitionists or slavers.

Luckily, Kid, Jimmy Teaspoon and Cody had put a stop to the men and the town was as peaceful as they could hope to make it.

Teaspoon had decided that since the watering hole was too far away from town to provide them all with enough water to bathe frequently, like the one on Emma's property back in Sweetwater had, that they needed to invent something almost as convenient. So he had settled down one night with a piece of paper and a pencil and designed the two strange looking buildings she was approaching. When Teaspoon had approached the riders with his idea, she could remember how they had all looked at each other, as if they each believed that Teaspoon had been drinking or that the heat had finally gotten to him.

It wasn't until they were all outside working on the buildings that they finally realized what an ingenious idea Teaspoon's "showers" had been. Hanging over a board that was nailed across the length of one of the compartments was a bucket filled to the brim with water. Attached to the rim of the bucket was a metal can with holes punched in the bottom of it. A length of rope draped down into the stall that Lou now stepped into and removed her soiled clothing. She tugged on the rope, which made the bucket tip and spilled water into the can and onto her. When the bucket was emptied, it was immediately filled by another bucket that hung above it. Two iron wheels and two lengths of rope had been fashioned into a pulley that lifted a bucket from out of the rain barrel that stood outside the compartment she was in every time she pulled on the rope. Although the water often needed to be heated during the colder part of the year, so far Teaspoon's invention had proven invaluable.

When she was finished washing, Lou dressed in her clean clothes and ran a brush through her short hair. She was gathering up her clothing, when she heard what sounded like arguing coming from the direction of the barn. Setting down her dirty laundry onto the porch, Lou proceeded toward the barn. It was not until she was almost to the entrance that she clearly recognized Jimmy and Kid's angry voices. Deciding not to enter the barn, she crept up to the side and placed herself behind one of the doors so she could hear what they were saying more clearly. If they were fighting about her again, she had all the rights in the world to know why they were arguing.

Tears filled her eyes as she heard the spiteful words that they were saying to each other. From the day that they had met, Jimmy and Kid had often disagreed about things. Neither of them had ever taken the other's angry words to heart and soon things had been patched up between them. Some of the arguments had been about her. Not once had Jimmy or Kid ever said anything to the other that sounded so filled with anger and hurt as the ones they were saying now. She did not wait to hear anymore of the argument.

Blindly she ran back to the bunkhouse, scooped up her clothing and went inside. She climbed onto her bunk and curled up into a ball, sobbing out all the anguish she felt at having come between the two most important men in her life. Now more than ever, she knew that she could not stay in Rock Creek.

**Chapter 16**

Lou didn't know how long she had laid awake on her bunk and cried out all of her confusion, anger and sorrow that had been building up inside of her during the past couple of months, culminating with the awful argument she had overheard between Jimmy and Kid in the barn. She would have thought by now, that she had no more tears to shed. She had spent so much of the last few months crying, that she had believed that her eyes had permanently dried up for lack of moisture. Now she knew that they had only been replenishing their water supply.

Stubbornly she sat up in her bunk and wiped the tears from her eyes. From this day on, she was determined that no matter what happened that she was not going to cry anymore. She had a baby to take care of now, and she could not spend precious time feeling sorry for herself. There were plans to be made and things to be taken care of. Now was as good a time to get started as later. She knew that it would not be much longer before everyone would be returning to the bunkhouse to eat supper.

She sat up slowly in her bunk and uncurled herself from the tight ball she had lain in, stretching her cramped limbs. When she felt that the circulation had been properly restored to them, she climbed down from her bunk and hastily removed a worn valise from under Kid's bunk. She hurriedly began packing clothing into the bag, not noticing as she removed undergarments from the top drawer, that she had accidentally dropped the small envelope of potassium carbonate that the doctor in Seneca had given to her. It fluttered to the ground beside her feet and came to a rest next to a leg of the dresser. When she had finished packing her clothing, Lou hurried toward the door of the bunkhouse.

Cautiously she peered out one of the windows for any signs of movement. When she did not see anybody, she opened the door and slowly stepped out onto the porch with the valise in one hand and her bedroll in the other. Hurriedly she stepped off the porch and shoved the valise under a corner of the porch, where she would retrieve it later on that night. Then she hurried back inside the bunkhouse and closed the door. Next, she removed a piece of paper and pencil from a drawer in the desk and sat down to write a letter to her Pony Express family. She had no idea what to write. With hot tears filling her eyes and threatening her resolve not to cry, she finally managed to write a short letter of goodbye to them all and then signed it. With the letter still in her hand, she climbed back onto her bunk, slid the letter under her pillow, lay back down, and closed her eyes. She knew that she would need as much sleep as possible, if she would be riding all night.

**Chapter 17**

When Rachel entered the bunkhouse, a couple of hours later, Lou were still fast asleep on her bunk. Rachel tiptoed lightly across the room so as not to awaken the female rider and stopped a few inches from Lou's bunk. Rachel smiled softly as she gazed at the sleeping form of the female rider. Even in her sleep, Lou wore a troubled expression on her face. Lou had been so troubled lately. So filled with pain over the strain in her relationship with Kid. She wished that there was more she could do to ease Lou's pain, other than listening when Lou needed to talk, but knew that there wasn't. She knew that the only other person that could possibly do something to ease Lou's pain was Kid, and she was not so sure right now that Kid had Lou's best interests at heart. Kid seemed more concerned right now in besting Jimmy, than in wanting what was best for Lou.

(I swear if those boys do anything else to make Lou leave, I will personally see to making their lives a living hell!) Rachel vowed as she stepped away from Lou's bunk and went over to the sink.

As quietly as she could, she withdrew some potatoes from the barrel beside the stove and began peeling them. She would make mashed potatoes tonight to go with the roast she had set to roasting earlier in the oven of her house. She would have one of the boys carry it over to the bunkhouse as soon as it was ready, along with the rest of the peach cobbler she had made. Even though she had made the dessert two days earlier, she knew that everyone would welcome the dessert again. 'Sides the dessert was a favorite of Lou's and she had missed the last cobbler she had made.

Even if there was not anything, she could do to ease Lou's emotional hunger she knew she could do something about Lou's physical one. Lou was tiny enough as it was, but the past few months had taken their toll on her physically, as well as mentally. Rachel could not remember when it was that she had last seen Lou eat more than a few bites of something, since she and Kid had broken up. She knew all too well, how difficult it was to eat when you were upset, but she was concerned about Lou's health. That was what had troubled her so much the other morning, when she had asked Lou if she was sick, because of how awful the female rider had looked. She had not quite believed the answer Lou had given her, but had not wanted to pressure her about it.

Besides, just the face that she had asked the question, had only brought more pain and anger Lou's way. She really wished that she could get through to Kid and Jimmy and make them see how much their foolishness was affecting Lou. She thought she had the other morning, but after what had happened yesterday, she knew that it was going to take something much more painful to make them realize how stupid and immature they were both being. She only hoped that it did not come at Lou's expense.

**Chapter 18**

"Boy am I hungry! I hope Rachel's got supper started already! I could eat a whole cow if she let me!" Cody exclaimed, as he, Ike and Noah rode into the way station.

"Name a time when you aren't hungry Cody!" Noah exclaimed in exasperation. "You don't even have to work up an appetite before you claim to be hungry!"

Ike grinned at Noah as Cody scowled at the black rider. Ike caught Noah's attention behind Cody's back.

(I've seen ants who work harder than Cody! At least by the end of the day, they do not complain about being worn out!)

Noah burst out laughing, making Cody swing around in the saddle to peer at Noah and then at Ike. Ike shrugged his shoulders and looked at Cody innocently, as if to say he did not know what Noah was laughing about. Cody continued to gaze at him for a moment, as if he did not believe the innocent act Ike was giving him, and then turned to face forward again. It was only when Cody had turned back around, that Ike's innocent look fell and he shook with the silent laughter he had barely kept restrained while Cody was looking at him.

The three riders unsaddled their horses, put them in their stalls and walked to the bunkhouse. Cody opened the door and called out," Rachel, what's for supper? I'm starved!"

"Ssh!" Rachel hissed silently, hoping to keep Cody from making any more noise and waking Lou up. She hurried forward and pushed Cody out the door and into Noah. The three riders looked at Rachel in bewilderment." Cody, can't you ever enter a room without bellowing at the top of your voice?" Rachel asked angrily.

Cody looked at her in surprise. "I'm sorry, Rachel. I was just wanting to know what was for dinner."

Rachel looked at the blond-haired rider's puzzled face and smiled. "I'm sorry, too, Cody. I should not have yelled at you like that. It's just that Lou's still asleep and I want her to get as much sleep as she can."

"Is something wrong with Lou?" Cody asked with concern.

"I don't know. Not that I'm aware of. It is just that she has not been looking so good lately, and I am worried about her. I just want you boys to be quiet until she wakes up, okay?" Rachel said, looking at Noah and Ike too.

The three riders nodded and quietly followed Rachel back into the bunkhouse.

**Chapter 19**

When he had succeeded in knocking Kid out, Jimmy had angrily pulled himself to his feet. He scooped up his hat that had been knocked off during the scuffle and stormed out of the barn. Going over to the pump that allowed them to give the horse's fresh water, he gave the handle a couple of tugs before he was rewarded with enough water to wet his aching hands and face.

He brought a mouthful of the cool water up to his mouth to rinse the blood from it, and winced in pain. His bottom lip was already beginning to bulge outward and he wondered how bad the rest of him looked. He also wondered how he was going to explain his appearance to Teaspoon. He couldn't help feeling a little bit better at the knowledge that Kid was probably going to look worse than he was.

At least he had bested Kid in this round for Lou's love. Trouble was he didn't know how many more rounds it was going to take before a winner was decided. Knowing that Kid had an advantage over him where Lou was concerned, only made Jimmy more determined to come out the victor in the game they were playing. He knew that he had his work cut out for him, but he was certain that he could live up to the challenge. He wasn't about to give up the fight for Lou, until he knew for certain that he would lose. He had to make sure that that never happened.

After he had cleaned himself up, Jimmy had walked to Teaspoon's office. Even though he had known that Teaspoon was not going to be pleased with him over his recent altercation with Kid, he also knew that he did not want to be at the way station when Kid woke up. If there was one thing he knew about the Kid, he was very determined. There was no way that he wanted to tussle with Kid again today. It had taken all the fight out of him, just to be able to knock Kid out long enough to get away.

As he had figured, the moment he walked into Teaspoon's office, Teaspoon was on his feet. The older man came around the corner of his desk and stopped a few inches from Jimmy. " I thought Rachel made it clear to you boys that she didn't want anymore fighting going on between you and the Kid over Lou?" he said, his voice deep with barely controlled anger.

"She did. Rachel shouldn't have made us make a promise she knew we couldn't keep." Jimmy responded, sarcastically.

Teaspoon's eyes studied Jimmy's face carefully. He knew that Jimmy was right. He had known that there was no way that Kid or Jimmy was not going to be able to live up to the promise they had made for Rachel's sake. He had also made a promise to Lou, even if it was only in his heart. He was determined to see to it that Jimmy and Kid did not do anything else to make Lou upset.

"Jimmy the next time you decide to let Kid goad you into an argument or vice versa, I hope you consider your options carefully." Teaspoon said.

"What options?" Jimmy asked, not liking how Teaspoon had empathized the words 'consider' and 'options'. He had a feeling that he was not going to like what Teaspoon told him next.

"The option of how much you enjoy being a Pony Express rider and living in Rock Creek." Teaspoon told him.

Anger boiled up inside of Jimmy. "Are you saying that if I get in another fight with Kid, you're going to fire me? Is that what you are telling me Teaspoon?" he demanded angrily.

"Hold on now, Jimmy. I am not trying to rile you up. I am just stating the facts. I am tired of the two of you fighting. I am tired of you boys making Lou miserable and of making everyone at the station feel uncomfortable. I'm not just talking about you Jimmy. I'll be telling Kid the same thing. Since you showed up first, I told you first, okay." Teaspoon told him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

Jimmy nodded, letting the anger drain out of him. "Just so's I know that you ain't taking sides against me." He said sheepishly.

"Do you think that I'd be fool enough to cross 'Wild Bill' Hickok? I don't think I have ever heard of anyone crossing old 'Wild Bill' and live to tell about it, except maybe Rachel." Teaspoon said, with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Let's go eat. I don't want Rachel mad at me for being late to the table."

"I ain't ever going to live that one down am I?" Jimmy muttered as he followed Teaspoon out of the office and down the street in the direction of the bunkhouse.

"Nope."

**Chapter 20**

Lou wasn't sure how long she had slept, before she became aware of movement around her. She opened her eyes slowly and was puzzled to see how dark it was inside of the bunkhouse. The only light in the bunkhouse came from the low flame of the lantern in the center of the table. Vaguely she wondered what time it was, but did not dare speak. It was better if the others thought she was still asleep. She did not want to have to face any of them before she left, especially not Kid or Jimmy. It would be too painful for her to try to explain to any of them why she was leaving, without revealing to them that she was pregnant.

She watched silently as her fellow riders moved around the room, preparing themselves for bed, each in different stages of undress. She closed her eyes hurriedly as Kid approached the set of bunks they shared. She stayed as still as she could, and kept her breathing even so that Kid would believe that she was still asleep. She felt his gaze upon her for several moments, then felt the blanket at her feet being gently tugged out from underneath them. A moment later, she felt the blanket being placed gently over her. Then she heard him say ever so quietly, "Goodnight Lou, I love you."

Tears filled her eyes at the quiet endearment and she ached to tell him she loved him to, but she couldn't. If she did, he would never let her leave and she knew that she couldn't stay. All she wanted was for him to be happy and she knew that he would be once she was. It was better this way. Better for both of them…the baby too.

She lay on her bed and waited until everything was quiet, except for the occasional snore that slipped out from between the lips of one of the riders. While she had been observing the boys as they prepared for bed, she had noticed that Buck was not among them. She was thankful for that. Although Buck lived the ways of his white father, he still had all the instincts of his Kiowa mother. Buck's uncanny ability to hear things that the rest of them could not have helped them on several occasions, but tonight it would have been a problem. She would have never made it off her bed and across the floor of the bunkhouse with Buck in the room.

She just hoped that the others would not hear her as well. She slowly lowered herself to the floor of the bunkhouse, mindful not to move too fast in climbing off her bunk, less she wake Kid up from all the movement. She slipped her hand underneath her pillow and carefully extracted the letter she had written. She bent down and carefully picked up her boots, then tiptoed to the door, placing the letter on the table as she passed it. Cody muttered something in his sleep as she passed by his bunk and she froze, thinking she had awakened him. When he continued to snore, she removed her gun-belt from its peg by the door and slipped it on. She opened the door barely enough for her to squeeze through and closed it behind her.

She sank against the door briefly and drew several breaths to calm her racing heart. She felt as if she was running away from home and did not want to be caught. Then she realized that was exactly what she was doing, although she knew that she would not get into trouble for doing so. Quietly she removed the hidden valise and bedroll from under the porch and ran across the yard to the barn. Luckily, for her, the barn was a considerable distance away from the bunkhouse and the shed that teaspoon and Jesse used for sleeping quarters.

She opened the door of the barn and went inside. She felt her way to the back of the barn, fearing that if she was to light a lantern it might draw attention to someone outside. Even though it was late, she knew that the saloons were still open and that Barnett would be patrolling the town. Finally, she reached the tack room, opened it up, carried out her saddle and fastened the door back into place. She led Lightning out of his stall and down the aisle to the front of the barn. Using her hands to figure out where each piece went, she was quickly able to saddle Lightning. Tying her bedroll and the valise onto the back of the saddle, Lou pushed the barn door open and led Lightning out of the barn. Once the barn door had been secured back into place, Lou mounted Lightning. She paused long enough to glance around the place that had been her home for such a long time, and then kicked Lightning into motion. Together she and Lightning galloped out of Rock Creek.

**Chapter 21**

The sky was just beginning to lighten from the deep blue of night to the purplish-gray of predawn when Buck returned to Rock Creek. He had left Rock Creek at five o'clock the previous afternoon on a run to Cottonwood. The run normally took three hours to make either way, and should have allowed him to arrive back in Rock Creek by eleven o'clock. The ride into Cottonwood had been uneventful and he had arrived in on schedule. After handing the mochila over to the next rider, he had decided to get a bite to eat in the hotel dining room before heading back out.

Within an hour's time, he was on his way back to Rock Creek. He had been on the trail for barely an hour, when he became aware of someone following him.  
It took him only a few moments to realize that his pursuers were Indians like himself. Another moment of using his keen Kiowa senses and he guessed that it was the same band of Apaches who had attacked and killed Ben Stead out of Rock Creek. He had kept Racing Moon at the same pace for several miles, while trying to figure out a plan of action.

Realizing that he did not have any other options but to flee, he had spurred Racing Moon into a faster gallop. The moment he had changed his pace, loud cries had erupted from his pursuers as they gave chase. His instincts had taken over, causing him to move from side to side as arrows whirred past him. He had started to think he was not going to make it back to Rock Creek alive, when he had remembered the bag of tricks that Teaspoon insisted all the riders carry on their runs. He had quickly pulled the strand of firecrackers out of her saddlebag, lit them and tossed them over his shoulders. He had not waited around long enough to find out how the braves had reacted to having the firecrackers thrown at them.

He walked Racing Moon into the yard and wearily dismounted in front of the barn. He opened the door and led his tired horse inside. He lit a lantern and quickly unsaddled Racing Moon, put him in his stall, then fed and watered him. It was not until he was walking back down the aisle after putting his saddle in the tack room, that he noticed that Lightning was not in his stall. Concern filled him as he blew out the lantern and headed toward the bunkhouse.

**Chapter 22**

Buck hurried toward the bunkhouse, puzzled by the fact that Lightning was not in his stall. He knew that Lou was not scheduled to make a ride until the following afternoon. He had been with Teaspoon when he had made out the schedule for the following week and knew that Teaspoon had decided to give Lou an extra day off. Once he reached the bunkhouse, he hopped onto the porch and barged into the bunkhouse. The door slammed against the wall of the bunkhouse and for the second time in a matter of days, Jimmy found himself hurtling out of his bunk and onto the floor.

"Darn it Buck! Would it be too much to ask to be able to get a decent night's sleep around here? I swear it's hard enough for a man to go to sleep with that loud buzzing sound Cody makes when he snores!" Jimmy shouted angrily as he pulled himself off the floor. A chorus of protests echoed through the bunkhouse.

"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep." Noah said, placing his pillow over his head.

"Yeah, Buck! Some of us do have rides today!" Cody muttered sleepily.

"I'm going back to sleep." Kid told him, turning over.

Buck ignored their protests and approached the bunks that Lou and Kid occupied. Lou's bunk was empty, just as he had suspected.

"I'd hate to interrupt you boy's beauty sleep further, but do any of you know where Lou is?" he asked.

There was an immediate reaction to his question. "What the hell are you talking about Buck? Lou's right there in her-," Kid said, climbing out of his bunk. The rest of the sentence died on his lips as Kid realized that Lou was not in her bunk.

"Lou was there last night! I covered her up myself!" Kid exclaimed.

"Kid's right Buck. Lou was asleep when you left last night. She was still asleep when we went to bed last night." Noah added.

"Since none of us are going to get anymore sleep, someone light a lamp." Cody said.

Buck made his way over to the table and lit the lamp on it. Propped up against the basin of the lamp was a single sheet of paper. He picked up the piece of paper, barely able to make out the writing on it. He turned the flame up higher on the lamp and then glanced at the paper again. Clearly recognizing Lou's dainty writing he quickly read what was written. Shocked concern filled his voice as he turned towards the others.

"Lou's gone." He said quietly.

**Chapter 23**

We've already figured that out Buck, remember? Lou's not in her bunk." Jimmy said sarcastically, gesturing towards the empty bunk.

"I'm serious, Jimmy!" Buck's angry retort echoed through the quiet bunkhouse. His fellow riders stared at him in shocked surprise. It was not often that Buck ever raised his voice at any of them, but when he did, he usually had a good reason. There was a concerned expression on his face and pain in his voice as he said. "Lou's gone. She's left Rock Creek."

A chorus of voices spoke around him, firing questions at him in rapid procession.

"What?" Noah and Cody exclaimed together.

(What do you mean Buck?) Ike signed rapidly.

"What are you talking about?" Kid asked his heart sinking as he took in his fellow rider's solemn expression.

"I swear, Buck, if this is some kind of crazy joke and Lou's really outside listening in while you scare us to death, I'm going to kill you both!" Jimmy said, through clenched teeth.

"I wouldn't joke about something like this Jimmy. I found this piece of paper lying against the basin of the lamp after I lit it. I read enough of it to know that it's a letter from Lou telling us all goodbye." Buck told him, waving the sheet of paper around in front of him.

Jimmy rose from his bunk and walked over to Buck. He took the paper out of Buck's hand and quickly scanned the contents of the letter.

"It's from Lou alright," he said flatly, as he finished reading it. He handed the letter back to Buck and walked back to his bunk. He sat down on the edge of the bunk and placed his head in his hands. The other riders watched him with growing concern. Jimmy wasn't one to talk about his feelings, but they could clearly see that what Lou had written in the letter had really shaken him up.

"Let me see that!" Kid demanded, snatching the letter out of Buck's hand. It didn't make sense. He had thought things were starting to look up between him and Lou. It was true that they had not had the opportunity to talk yet; the ride Lou had agreed to go on had never taken place. Lou had still been asleep when Rachel had called all of them to supper. She looked so peaceful while she was sleeping that he had not wanted to wake her up. He had figured that he had all the time in the world to make up to her all the terrible things he had said and done to her since they had broken up. Now it looked like he did not have any time at all.

**Chapter 24**

When he had snatched the letter out of Buck's hand to read it, Kid had done so thinking that the other riders were making a joke at his expense. That thought was immediately replaced by the knowledge that Lou would never agree to be a part to such a cruel joke. He did not know what was worse, thinking that the letter was all a big joke or the fact that Lou was gone. He decided that the latter scenario was definitely worse. He knew all too well how awful the past few months had been. There had been times during the past few months that he had also considered leaving Rock Creek. Two things had always made him stay, Lou and the other members of the Pony Express family. Leaving everyone he had grown to love since hiring on as an express rider would have been much harder than staying.

It was not until that morning, a few days earlier, when Rachel had inquired about Lou's health at breakfast that he had actually taken a good look at Lou. He had been appalled at the changes he had seen in her and knew that it was his fault. He had let his stubborn pride and hurt feelings make his decisions for him, instead of giving Lou the assurance that she had needed. It had taken Rachel's angry outburst over his and Jimmy's terrible behavior to make him rethink his actions of the past few months. That was why he had approached Lou before she had left on her run to Seneca and apologized to her. When she had promised him that they could talk when she returned to the station, his heart had filled with hope.

Things had definitely started looking up. He then had decided that it was time to start to repair the rift between him and Jimmy. How could he fault Lou for turning to Jimmy, their best friend, when he had made himself unavailable to her? He could not recall how many times over the past few months that Lou had tried to talk to him and he had chosen to ignore her pleas. Although Lou had confidence in her riding skills, marksmanship, and other job related duties, she was insecure about everything else, especially her femininity.

Lou had not had someone to teach her what being a woman was all about, the only men she had known before the express had been extremely cruel and heartless. Lou had needed a shoulder to cry on and his was not available. At least that was what he had wanted to believe. It was not until the evening that Lou had left on her run to Seneca that he had learned the truth. He had waited behind for Jimmy to accompany him to the swimming hole outside of town. Jimmy had told him to go on ahead, because he had needed to discuss something with Rachel. He had agreed, but decided to wait for Jimmy in the barn. When a half an hour had passed and Jimmy had not appeared, he had become concerned and decided to go to the bunkhouse to see what was keeping him. He had been shocked to hear Jimmy's raised voice reveal to Rachel that he was in love with Lou, just as he reached the bunkhouse door. All thoughts of making peace with Jimmy had fled his mind as he entered the bunkhouse and proceeded to make that awful bet with his fellow rider.

He was relieved to see an improvement in Lou when she had returned two days later. Some of the color had returned to her face and there was aglow in her dark eyes. He had desperately wanted to ask what had made her so happy, but had feared upsetting her. Instead, he had told her he would care for Lightning so she would not have to. While doing so he had tried to think up a way of spending some time alone with Lou. He had settled on asking her to go for a ride and had gone to the bunkhouse to ask her before she fell asleep. When he had entered the bunkhouse and seen Jimmy with Lou, he had wanted to tear into him very much. It had been the strange expression that had come over Lou's face that had stopped him.

That very image now appeared before his eyes and he suddenly had the feeling that there was more to Lou's leaving than just their breakup. He wondered if Rachel's innocent question had been closer to the truth than any of them realized. As he recalled how she had reacted to him telling her that he or one of the others would gladly take her ride, a look of panic had flashed over her face. He had only glimpsed it for a second before Lou had jumped down his throat and ran from the bunkhouse. Then the argument with Jimmy had ensued and he hadn't though about the look, until just now. It made him even more worried over Lou's sudden departure than anything he might have said or done to her. Lou would never have left the express unless there was something wrong with her that she did not want the others to know about. It made him even more determined to find Lou and make her tell him what was wrong. He wasn't about to let things between them end like this!

**Chapter 25**

The other riders had lapsed into silence as they waited for Kid to read Lou's letter. Each seemed to silently agree that Kid should read the missive first, since he was the person who was going to be the most affected by the female rider's unexpected departure. Although each of them knew that Lou and Kid were no longer together, it was obvious to them that the two riders' still loved each other. What was most puzzling to them was why Lou and Kid could not see what everyone else knew. None of them could understand how two people who loved each other were so hell-bent on making each other miserable. If only they could get past all of the hurt feelings and jealousies that had arisen during their separation and realize that they were meant to be together. With Lou leaving the station, it looked like there was a strong possibility that Lou and Kid might never get back together.

When the other riders had thought that enough time had passed for Kid to have finished reading Lou's letter, they silently decided that Noah would be the one to ask the question they all wanted to hear. With a quick glance at the others, Noah asked,

"What does the letter say Kid?"

The sound of Noah's deep voice in the quiet bunkhouse startled Kid out of his prolonged reverie. He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, and then looked over at Noah. The fierce, determined expression on Kid's face was one they all knew well. It was a look that they had seen on their fellow rider's face many times before, often when Lou had been in danger or when Kid had decided that the female rider needed protecting. None of them could recall exactly how many times that look, and Kid's sense of honor had gotten him into hot water with the female rider. Each knew that what Lou wanted most was to be accepted and loved for the capable person that she was instead of some helpless female who needed a man to protect her.

All of them knew how important it was for Lou to be treated equally. Since her ma died had died and she had left the orphanage where her younger siblings were located, Lou had been on her own. The independence that she had required during those years on her own was very important to her and had come to her at a high cost. It was not going to be easy for her to give that independence up, no matter whom it was for. Unfortunately, for Lou, it did not appear that Kid was any more willing to give up his belief that a woman needed to be taken care of. It was going to be interesting to see who was going to come out the winner in this contest of wills.

Noah quickly hid the smile that appeared on his face, Buck covered his and Ike tried to school his features into a look of seriousness. Cody, unfortunately, got a quick mental picture of Kid astride Katie galloping across the open countryside with a furious Lou bound and gagged on the seat behind him. The image was so sudden and so strong that he could not stop the laughter from bubbling up inside of him and spilling out of his mouth. The other riders' heads swirled toward him in astonishment! They knew Cody had a knack for finding the humor in any situation, but this was ridiculous!

Kid leveled a look at Cody that clearly stated that he did not find anything the least bit funny in the fact that Lou had left Rock Creek. "What's so funny, Cody?" he asked, his voice laced with anger.

"Nothing," Cody said quickly, the humor draining from his face.

"Lighten up Kid. Isn't this what you wanted? Are you satisfied? You've done everything you could to make Lou miserable the past few months! Not only have you made Lou's life unbearable in the past few months, now you have succeeded in chasing her out of Rock Creek! Congratulations!" Jimmy's words were dripping with angry sarcasm.

Anger swept through Kid at Jimmy's words. He did not need Jimmy to remind him of whose fault it was that Lou had left Rock Creek. He knew whose it was. It was his. He was not about to admit that to Jimmy though. If Jimmy had stayed out of Lou and his business a long time ago, maybe things would have already been patched up between him and Lou a long time ago. All he knew was he was not about to sit here and take any more guff off Jimmy than he had to.

"Why can't you ever learn to stay out of anyone else's business? For a man who doesn't like it when someone interfering in his own business, you sure have a knack for interfering where you are not wanted! Why don't you stick to things you are good at! Like shooting cans, making trouble and killing people!" Kid spat angrily.

The moment the last sentence was out of his mouth, Kid regretted them. A collective gasp arose from the other riders as Jimmy's face paled for a fraction of a moment. Then his gray eyes turned to liquid gray metal as he leveled a look at Kid that had been known to frighten some of the more renowned gunfighters. Kid did not flinch under the gaze that Jimmy shot his way. Jimmy and Kid stared at each other, neither wavering under the other's heated gaze.

**Chapter 26**

The other riders exchanged nervous glances as Kid and Jimmy continued to stare each other down. It was not that they had not seen Jimmy and Kid angry at each other before, they had witnessed too many intense arguments and explosive confrontations between the two hardheaded riders over the past year-and-a-half that they had all been riding for the express. Most of those confrontations usually occurred after Kid had rescued Jimmy from some type of trouble or other. As much as Jimmy tried to avoid trouble, it seemed to follow him around. The problem was that once trouble found Jimmy, he was all too willing to accommodate it. Even if it meant getting himself killed.

Lately though the confrontations between the two riders had become volatile. Neither Jimmy nor Kid could stand to be in the presence of the other rider for more than a few moments, before they were spouting recriminations at each other. Seeing the two friends go at each other as if they would an enemy was disconcerting to the other members of the express family. Not only did they care about both of the riders equally it disturbed them beyond all reason to see Jimmy and Kid's friendship deteriorate so rapidly. While no one knew exactly what had happened between the two riders to make them so angry towards one another, they all felt that Lou was somehow involved.

Jimmy's mouth twisted into a dangerous smirk as he said through clenched teeth. "I'm going to let that last remark slide Kid, cause I know you're upset. Say something like that again and I'll forget that we're friends."

"Don't do me any favors. If it weren't for you, Lou and I would have gotten back together a long time ago! I'd rather trust a rattlesnake than you! At least with a rattlesnake I'd know what to expect! " Kid shouted.

Jimmy's face darkened a fraction of a moment before he lunged at Kid. Noah grabbed Jimmy, while Cody took hold of Kid. Buck stepped between the two riders, holding out a hand in each direction to stop them from making contact with each other. His voice thundered angrily through the bunkhouse. "Stop it! Just stop it! I can't believe the two of you! Can't you think about someone else other than yourselves! Lou's gone and all you're concerned about is tearing into each other!"

"Do you think that the past few months have been easy on anyone? Kid, we did what you asked and stayed out of your business! Hoping the whole time that you would come to your senses and make up with Lou! Instead, you went out of your way to hurt her! If anything happens to Lou because of your callous behavior towards you, you're going to have me to deal with!" Cody exclaimed angrily. There was a fierce look upon his face that none of them had ever seen before. They knew that Cody meant everything that he had said.

"You haven't helped anything either Jimmy! You've done everything you could to make things worse between Lou and Kid. Instead of just being the friend that Lou needed, you decided to take things into your own hands. Seeing the two of you go at each other's throats because of her, tore Lou up inside! She hated seeing you two fight! You're supposed to be best friends, but lately you've been acting like enemies!" Noah added.

The tension Kid had felt at Jimmy's earlier words drained out of him and was instantly replaced by a flood of hot shame. His friends were right. He couldn't believe that he was standing here arguing with Jimmy, while the woman he loved at ridden out of his life. It shouldn't matter if Jimmy had feelings for Lou either. As much as he wanted to patch things up with Lou, he knew there was a possibly that he wouldn't be able to. If Lou had to choose anyone beside him, he'd rather it be Jimmy. At least he would know that Lou was well taken care of.

'You guys are right. Nothing is more important than finding Lou. I am sorry, Jimmy. I should not have said what I did. As much as I hope that Lou and I will get back together, I know that there is a chance that I will not. I'd rather have Lou be with you, than have her be with somebody that's going to hurt her." Kid said, finally.

The other riders grinned as Jimmy's face filled with surprise. Then Hickok's eyes grew suspicious, thinking that it was another one of Kid's jibes. He studied Kid's face for a moment before saying, "I'm sorry too, Kid. I should have just stayed out of it. I never expected to start having feelings for her. They came on all of a sudden and the more I saw Lou hurting, the angrier I got."

"I know. I guess I should feel grateful that Lou's got someone else looking after her, even if it means defending her against me." Kid told him. He stuck his hand out towards Jimmy. The other riders took a collective breath and held it, waiting to see how Jimmy would respond. A grin split Jimmy's face and he stuck his hand in Kid's.

(Now that you two have made up, let's go find Lou!) Ike signed, quickly.

**Chapter 27**

They were in the process of making plans to ride after Lou, when the bunkhouse door opened and Rachel stepped inside followed closely by Teaspoon. Rachel and Teaspoon took in the concerned faces of the boys, the bundle of bedrolls on each bunk and the fact that Lou was nowhere to be seen.

"What's going on boys? You all look as if you lost your best friend?" Teaspoon asked calmly.

The riders exchanged glances. Kid was the first to speak. "It kind of looks that way, Teaspoon. Not that we think anything like that has happened."

Teaspoon and Rachel exchanged puzzled glances. "Will somebody tell me what the hell Kid is talking about?" Teaspoon demanded.

"It's like this. Lou has run off. None of us heard her leave the bunkhouse. When Buck arrived at the station a little while ago and put Racing Moon in the barn, he discovered that Lightning was not in his stall. He came and woke us up and we found this." Jimmy said, handing Teaspoon Lou's note. Teaspoon shot them all a concerned look, cleared his throat and then began to read aloud the words that Lou had written.

'_**Dear Teaspoon, Rachel, Boys,  
I am sorry if my leaving like this causes any of you pain. I just could not  
bear to say goodbye to you all in person. It has never been my intention to  
hurt any of you, although it seems that is exactly what I have done over the  
past few months. After my mama died, I never thought that I would ever have  
a complete family again. I have dreamt about earning enough money to buy  
some land so that I could bring Jeremiah and Theresa home to live with me.  
That dream is what led me to the Pony Express and all of you. You will never  
know how much all of you have changed my life. Never before, I have known  
such a man as you Teaspoon. Over the past year and a half, you have been the  
father I thought I would never have. Rachel, I cannot tell you how much your  
friendship and love has meant to me. To think that I almost passed up the  
opportunity to be your friend. Jesse, don't be so eager to grow up. Listen  
to Teaspoon, he knows what he's talking about. Noah, don't let other  
people's prejudices dictate how you feel. Cody, don't give up on your  
dreams. Ike I have never known someone that could say so much with so few words.  
Buck, always follow your heart, both halves of it! Jimmy, it doesn't matter  
how other people see you, it only matters how you see yourself. Kid, I'll  
always carry a piece of you with me. Be happy. Love Lou'**_

There were tears in the stationmaster's pale eyes as he finished reading Lou's letter. Several moments passed before anyone spoke. Each was lost in their thoughts of the female rider. Rachel's quiet sobs echoed through the bunkhouse. Teaspoon removed a kerchief from his pocket and handed it to her." Thank you." Rachel said softly.

"You're welcome." Teaspoon said, and then turned back toward the riders. He leveled Jimmy and Kid with a stern look. The other riders exchanged uneasy glances. Kid and Jimmy braced themselves for the browbeating they knew was coming. Both were wondering if they were going to have a job by the time Teaspoon had finished bawling them out.

"I guess that I didn't make myself clear enough the other day when I told you that I would fire you if you did anything else to make Lou upset. Or maybe you boys weren't paying attention! Despite what you boys may think, I don't talk just to hear the sound of my voice! I expect you boys to listen to what I tell you! Jimmy, Kid, what do you think should happen now?" Teaspoon told them angrily.

"I suppose you should fire us Teaspoon, but I hope you won't." Kid said quietly.

"And why is that?" Teaspoon asked.

"You're going to need us to help find Lou. Teaspoon, you can't have a bunch of hot-headed, stubborn boys with diverse personalities to live in close proximity day after day and not expect them to fight." Kid said.

"Speak for yourself Kid. I don't know why anyone would want to fight with me. I'm so easy to get along with!" Cody added quickly.

While they were all a little fed up with the way Jimmy and Kid had been acting lately, he did not want Teaspoon to fire them. His comment did the trick, easing the tension in the bunkhouse and bringing a smile to Teaspoon's face. Kid and Jimmy both shot him a grateful look.

"I suppose I could let you slide this time, allowing how you're right! "Sides we're family. I couldn't throw you boys off the station for fighting than I could Cody here for snoring too loud!" Teaspoon exclaimed, slapping Cody on the back as the others burst out laughing.

**Chapter 28**

"Boys, it looks like we've got our work cut out for us. We're going to have to decide which of you are going and who's staying." Teaspoon said. He held up a  
hand to fend off the protests he knew were coming. "I know everyone's anxious to find Lou. If I thought that Lou was in danger, I wouldn't hesitate on sending you all after her. That isn't the case. Lou left on her own accord and despite what some of you think, she is very capable in depending herself. The lot of you,  
minus Kid and Jimmy, are going to draw straws to see who goes."

"Wait a minute Teaspoon! If you think-," Jimmy began.

"You're not going to keep-,"Kid started.

"Hold up you two! Can't a man think without the two of you going off?" Teaspoon told them irritably. "Do you think I'm crazy enough to try and keep you from  
going?"

"Sorry, Teaspoon." Kid said.

"Now, barring anymore interruptions-,"Teaspoon started, just as the bunkhouse door opened and Jesse entered. "What's for breakfast Rachel, I'm starved!"

Teaspoon threw his hands up in surprise. "I'm going to the barn to get the straws!" he exclaimed, stalking out of the bunkhouse.

"What did I say? What's going on?" Jesse asked.

"Nothing. Teaspoon's just upset right now. Rachel will fill you in." Noah said, heading for the door. The other riders filed out of the bunkhouse after him.

"What's Noah talking about Rachel?" Jesse asked worriedly.

Rachel led Jesse over to the table and told him to sit down. She sat down in a chair beside him and handed Lou's letter to him. "What's this? Why would Lou write us a letter?" he asked.

"Just read the letter Jesse." Rachel told him gently. "It'll be easier than explaining it to you."

"Okay." Jesse said. By the time he had finished reading the letter, there were tears dotting his cheeks. She sat down in a chair beside him. Rachel's heart went out to him knowing how much he admired Lou. Before she could say a word to comfort him, Jesse leaped to his feet and hit the door running.

"Jesse! Jesse wait!" Rachel called out. She rushed out onto the porch, just in time to see Jesse slip inside the barn. As much as she wanted to run after him, she  
knew that it would not do any good. When it came to stubbornness, Jesse's was second, only to Jimmy. It often amused her to no end how much like Jimmy, Jesse  
was. It was uncanny how two people who weren't related could be so alike. She shook her head and reentered the bunkhouse. She was confident that Teaspoon would be able to diffuse a situation between Jesse, Kid and Jimmy if one occurred. Secretly she thought that Jimmy and Kid got anything they deserved for their poor treatment of Lou. She only hoped they were successful in finding Lou and convincing her to come back home.

**Chapter 29**

The riders had just finished drawing straws and it was decided that Ike and Buck would accompany Kid and Jimmy on their search for Lou. They were discussing  
places to go search for Lou, when Jesse rushed into the open barn door. Instinctively the group of men turned at the sound of footsteps approaching. Jimmy's  
guns were just beginning to clear their holsters, when he spotted Jesse. Kid barely caught sight of Jesse's enraged face, before Jesse's fist connected with his  
jaw. The blow caught Kid off-guard, throwing him backward into Jimmy, who stood a few inches behind. Jimmy's hands flung out as he tried to keep himself  
from falling, but was propelled backwards as Kid plowed into him. The other riders burst out laughing as Kid and Jimmy landed on top of one another onto the  
pile of soiled hay that had been removed from the stalls the evening before.

"Get up, Kid! Get up! You're nothing but a lowdown dirty polecat that deserves a good licking! Lou is gone and it is all you're fault! She's tough and pretty and  
smart and she wouldn't of left Rock Creek if it wasn't for you!" Jesse screamed as he stood over the two riders, his hands balled into fists in front of him.

There was a dangerous glint in Jimmy's eyes as he and Kid struggled to disengage themselves from each other and stand up. "I suggest you clear out of my sight  
before I get to my feet or I'm not going to be responsible for what I do to you!"

"Ooh, I'm scared! What are you going to do Jimmy, shoot me? I don't care! You got this coming!" Jesse taunted him.

"What the hell has gotten into you boy!" Teaspoon shouted, striding towards Jesse. He grabbed a hold of Jesse's shirt and yanked him backward, just as Jimmy  
got to his feet and lunged forward. Kid's arms shot out to restrain Jimmy.

"I know you're upset Jesse, but you got no call hitting me or talking to Jimmy like that!" Kid said angrily.

Jesse struggled in Teaspoon's grasp. "I wouldn't hold myself to be much of a man, if I didn't stand up for Lou! Accepting the fact that I'd miss Lou something  
fierce, I hope you don't find her! Maybe she will be able to find a man who will care for her, defend her and make her happy! Obviously, she ain't going to be  
happy with the likes of either of you! I'm thinking that the barn's a good place for both of you! At least then you would be bunkin' with the rest of the animals, especially the jackasses!"

Jimmy broke out of Kid's grip and started toward Teaspoon and Jesse. "You smart mouth little weasel! Wait until I get my hands on you! I'll teach you what  
it's like to be a man!"

The laughter drained out of the other riders' faces as Jimmy advanced towards where Teaspoon held Jesse. They shot each other uneasy glances, before each of them placed themselves strategically around Jesse and Teaspoon. The smoldering look that Jimmy shot each of them would have burned them to a crisp, if they had been pieces of wood.

"Get out of my way!" Jimmy growled through clenched teeth. "It's time somebody taught that boy what it takes to be a man! If he has the guts to pick a fight,  
then he better be ready to back up his claim!"

"Jimmy, he's upset! He has every reason to defend Lou! Any other time or any other person and you'd be shaking his hand right now! You're just mad that the  
person he chose to defend Lou against is you!" Kid told him.

Everyone held their breath as they waited to see how Jimmy would respond to what Kid had said. Kid braced himself in case Jimmy decided to take his anger at  
Jesse out on him. Jimmy's eyes moved back and forth between Kid and Jesse. Just as sudden as the anger had filled him, it was gone. A wry laugh echoed through the barn.

"You're right, Kid. I can't drill it into his head to stick up for himself and his friends to everyone else and not expect him to do the same to me. Just don't go  
getting too full of yourself!" Jimmy said, grinning at Jesse.

Jesse let out a sigh of relief. As mad as he had been at Kid and Hickok when he had entered the barn a short time ago, it had fled from him the moment Jimmy had stood up. Fear had filled him instead and he had fought the urge to bolt out of Teaspoon's arms. Instead, he had stood and faced Jimmy. He had to admit  
that if it had not been for the fact that Teaspoon and the other riders' had been between him and Jimmy, he would have surely passed out from fair.

"Come on boys; let's go see if Rachel's got breakfast ready. All of this excitement has made me work up an appetite!" Teaspoon exclaimed.

**Chapter 30**

"Come on boys; let's go see if Rachel's got breakfast ready. All this excitement has made me work up an appetite!" Teaspoon exclaimed in a near perfect impersonation of Cody.

"I couldn't of said that better, if I'd said that myself Teaspoon!" Cody said, putting an arm around Teaspoon's shoulders as they all exited the barn and started back towards the bunkhouse.

Jesse, Noah, Buck, Jimmy and Kid let out a collective groan, while Ike's face crumpled in a silent grimace. Leave it to Cody to take Teaspoon's impersonation of  
him as a compliment and not as the jibe, Teaspoon had meant it to be. Out of everyone who lived at the Rock Creek Pony Express Way station, Cody was known for having the largest ego. While the other riders tried hard to live down the reputations the outside world gave them due to their dangerous jobs, individual talents and heroic escapades, Cody eagerly accepted his. Cody wanted nothing more than to one day be famous like so many of the frontiersmen, lawmen, and explorers that had helped shape the west he knew. Hezekiah Horne, John Fremont, Wyatt Earp and Teaspoon Hunter being just a few of the men that he held in  
high esteem. The only problem with Cody was that he was all too eager to have fame seek him out while he was still young enough to enjoy it.

This eagerness to fulfill his life's dream often led Cody into trouble that the other riders had to help him out of. One time he had taken a special run to Ft. Laramie to deliver a packet of documents to the commanding officer, Cody had run into several problems along the way...including burying the owner of a tame bear...fighting off a band of outlaws terrorizing a lone widow.... and being ambushed by a bunch of deserters hell-bent on relieving him of the documents he carried...all to find out that he was never carrying important documents in the first place...but actually the decoy!

"Don't encourage him, Teaspoon. Please. Cody's head is big enough as it is. One more compliment is likely to make it explode!" Jimmy said pleadingly, dropping to his knees in front of an astonished Teaspoon. He held out his hands in front of him, prayer-like, barely able to keep a straight face as he continued. "Please  
don't compliment him anymore!"

(Yeah, Teaspoon! Watching you scrape Cody's brains off your shirtfront is a sight I definitely don't want to see!) Ike quickly signed.

Jesse and the other riders, minus Cody, roared with laughter at the almost identical looks that crossed over the faces of the grizzly stationmaster and blond rider. Teaspoon's was a mixture of astonished embarrassment, while Cody's was surprised anger. Teaspoon gazed frantically around at the porches of the nearby stores, hoping beyond hope that no one was witnessing such bizarre behavior in one of his riders.

"For Pete's sake, Jimmy, get up before someone sees you! I don't know how on earth I would ever be able to explain the fact that they had seen one of my best  
riders proposing to me!" Teaspoon exclaimed.

Fresh peals of laughter filled the air around them as Cody turned from glaring at Jimmy to level Ike with a lethal glare. Jimmy climbed slowly to his feet, clasping his arms around his aching sides. The corners of Teaspoon's mouth began to twitch and his eyes to fill with moisture as he fought to control the laughter he felt building inside of him. He glanced around at the other riders and couldn't help letting out a muffled laugh. Noah stood doubled over beside him, Kid leaned against a nearby post, Jesse rolled on the ground, and Jimmy clutched at his sides in an attempt to catch his breath, while Buck and Ike leaned against each other for support. If it had not been for the enraged look on Cody's face, Teaspoon knew that he would have already joined the other riders in laughing.

"Glad to see how you boys really think about me! I do not see why it's such a crime with you all that I have a high opinion of myself that I want accomplish  
things that you've never dreamed about! Well, I'll have you know here and now, that one day everyone in these great states is going to know whom William F.  
Cody is, to bad none of you will be around to share the glory with me!" Cody exclaimed angrily, stalking away from them in the direction of the bunkhouse.

"Aw, Cody, come back! We were only joshing you." Jimmy called out after the blond rider.

"Let him go, Jimmy. He'll cool down soon enough!" Teaspoon told him.

"That'll probably be the moment he steps into the bunkhouse and gets a whiff of whatever Rachel made for breakfast." Noah quipped.

"Knowing Cody, like I do, I wouldn't put it pass him to try and convince her to give him all our extra helpings. So, if you boys are finished carrying-on, we  
best get to the bunkhouse before we don't get anything to eat!" Teaspoon said.

Teaspoon's words sent another round of laughter echoing down the deserted street, his own laughter mixing in with that of the riders and Jesse.

**Chapter 31**

Rachel had set to work preparing breakfast the moment she had reentered the bunkhouse after following Jesse outside. Knowing how anxious Kid, Jimmy and the other riders would be to start their search for the runaway Lou, she had decided to make the quickest meal she could think of. The only thing that had deterred her was coming up with a meal that would be filling enough to satisfy everyone's appetites, including Cody's voracious one. After a few moments of thought, she had finally decided to make pancakes, fried potatoes and sausage patties. Her buttermilk pancakes were a favorite meal of all the riders, Jesse and Teaspoon when served with a variety of toppings. This morning she would open a couple jars of applesauce, and slice up some peaches to place on the table along with butter, molasses and preserves. While this breakfast was much simpler than the meals she usually cooked, Rachel had a feeling that no one would be leaving her table hungry.

She had barely transferred the skillet of crispy potatoes into a bowl, when someone stomped onto the porch. A moment later the bunkhouse door flew open,  
slamming into the wall with such force that the spice rack above the stove reverberated, raining spice tins down around Rachel's head and onto the stovetop.

"Dang it Cody! Can't you ever enter the bunkhouse without making a lot of noise or causing things to fall off the walls?" Rachel shouted irritably, plucking an open tin of cinnamon out of the rest of the pancake batter.

"No Rachel, I can't! Why don't you go ahead and tell me what else I do wrong, so's I can add it to the list that the boys and Teaspoon made! Wait, why don't I do it for you? I talk too much, eat too much, and sleep too much! I'm noisy, obnoxious, deceitful and lazy! Does that cover everything or did I leave something  
out!" Cody told her bitterly.

Rachel turned away from the stove to stare at him in stunned surprise! She had never heard such an embittered tone in Cody's voice before, nor had she seen such pain in the depths of his beautiful blue eyes. It was true that there were things Cody did that were often exasperating to her and the other members of their express family, but there were also a lot of endearing qualities in Cody that made them love him too. She knew though that some of Cody's unredeemable  
character traits were used as the base of considerable jokes among the other riders. It was obvious to her that one of the boys had carried his joke a little too  
far and hurt Cody's feelings.

"No, Cody. I don't think you quite covered everything." Rachel told him.

"Great. Why don't I just get a pencil and some paper so you can write them down." Cody said, turning to face the wall so Rachel would not see the tears that  
had filled his eyes. He hated it when he allowed the other riders' teasing to get to him. Usually he was much better at defending himself against their jibes, often sending his tormentor a scathing retort in return. There were times though, like today that he wondered if they really liked him at all or kept him around just so they could make fun of him.

It took him a moment to realize that Rachel was no longer standing by the stove, but beside him. Hastily, he blinked away the tears in his eyes, hoping that she  
would not ask him to turn around.

"I think that there are quite a few things that you left on that list of yours. If you will turn around so I can see your face, I'll tell you what you forgot to add." She said quietly.

Cody reluctantly turned around, not attempting to wipe the tears that had fallen away from his face. Rachel's eyes softened as she took in his watery eyes  
and tear-streaked face.

"I don't know what happened outside just now Cody, but I can honestly tell you that the boys and Teaspoon would never willingly do anything to hurt you. Mind  
you, I am not saying that you should not be hurt. I am not saying that at all. I just think that their teasing would hurt you. You should know from experience, that often things are said without thought to how someone might take what you said. We're all guilty of doing that. I know I have, how about you?"

"You're right, Rachel. But-" Cody said defensively.

"Let me finish, Cody. While some of the things that you mentioned are true, they are not the only things that make up the William F. Cody that I know. The Cody  
I know is kind, loving, sensitive, funny, smart, loyal, adventurous, and courageous. He's quick to come to the aid of someone in trouble, can always be counted on to defend the people he loves. He's got the greatest personality of us all and knows how to make a person smile even if they'd rather be crying. He's someone who is very special just the way he is and I am honored to call him friend and blessed to have him as a member of my family."

A new wave of tears had filled Cody's eyes as Rachel spoke, falling unhindered onto his cheeks. Cody reached out and drew Rachel into a hug. They stayed  
that way for a few moments, before Rachel drew away and they both wiped tears away from their faces.

"Thanks, Rachel." Cody told her.

"You're welcome Cody. Now, I'd better get the rest of our breakfast done or nobody is going to eat." Rachel said, going back to the stove. "Despite what the other boys might think, I can get downright nasty if I haven't eaten!"

Cody's laugh echoed through the bunkhouse and Rachel joined in. They were still laughing about what Rachel had said, when Teaspoon and the others arrived at the bunkhouse a couple of minutes later.

**Chapter 32**

The laughter faded from Cody's lips as Teaspoon, Jesse, Buck, Ike, Kid and Jimmy entered the bunkhouse. Cody lowered his head so that his fellow riders wouldn't be able to see the hurt he still felt because of their teasing. Although Rachel had helped him to see how easily a few unmeasured words could hurt a  
person, it did not mean he was not upset with Jimmy and the others for making jokes at his expense. 'Sides he had already shown them that their jibes had upset him that was embarrassing enough, without letting on just how upset he really was.

"Whooee, Rachel! Something sure smells good in here!" Teaspoon exclaimed as he began washing his hands and face at the washbasin.

Rachel glanced over at the grisly stationmaster and smiled. "Thanks, Teaspoon. Breakfast will be ready in a few moments. If the rest of you gents plan on eating  
you better wash up."

The riders and Jesse hurried to comply. Cody waited until the other riders had finished, before taking his turn at the washbasin. Then he took his place beside  
Noah at the table.

Jimmy watched the blond rider silently for several moments, a frown upon his face. Usually Cody would have been laughing and joking around with the rest of  
the riders as they waited for Rachel to finish cooking. Obviously, his teasing had upset Cody more than the blond rider was willing to let on.

"Look, Cody. I am sorry for what I said earlier. I was only joshing you; I didn't mean anything by it." Jimmy said quietly.

Cody raised his head and looked over at Jimmy in surprise. Although he was waiting to hear an apology from Jimmy and the others, he had not really thought he  
would get it. Jimmy was not someone who apologized very often. He scrutinized Jimmy's face carefully for any signs that the hotheaded rider was trying to pull one  
over on him. Instead, all he found was open sincerity.

"Thanks, Jimmy." He said finally, flashing the other rider a smile.

Rachel placed the platter of pancakes onto the table, and then went back to the stove for the plate of sausage patties and bowl of fried potatoes. She grabbed tow  
jars of applesauce off a shelf, opened them and poured their contents into another bowl.

"Jesse, Ike, would you go get milk, butter and cream out of the cold pit?" she asked.

Ike and Jesse immediately rose to do as she had requested. By the time they had returned to the bunkhouse, Rachel had finished slicing peaches into a bowl and taken her seat at the end of the oblong table. The two boys placed the requested items onto the table beside the rest of the food and took their places. Teaspoon said a quick prayer over the meal, before they all dug in.

"Do you boys have any idea where Lou might have gone?" Rachel asked as they ate.

Kid chased a bite of pancakes down with a long swallow of milk before answering. "No. We are hoping Buck will be able to pick up her trail. Otherwise our chances of finding Lou will be like trying to find a needle in a haystack."

"Thinking like that's not going to get you anywhere Kid." Teaspoon said. "My mama always told me that believing you can do something, is almost as good as  
doing it."

"I know, Teaspoon. It's just that Lou could have gone anywhere. Who knows how long it's going to take us to find her." Kid replied. Much as he hated to admit it to anyone, there was a very strong possibility that they would never find Lou.

"You boys take all the time you need. I'll hire some temporary riders to take up your runs during your absence. That way you can concentrate on finding Lou  
and bringing her home." Teaspoon told him.

"Maybe Lou went to St. Joe. You know, to see Jeremiah and Theresa." Jesse suggested.

Jimmy wiped his mouth with the edge of his napkin. "I don't think so Jesse. Lou wouldn't have gone to all the trouble of sneaking out of Rock Creek in the  
middle of the night, only to go somewhere she knows we'll look first."

"Jimmy's right. Lou's not going to make it easy for us to find her. My guess is she's not going to go somewhere she's likely to be identified as a rider either." Buck added.

Silence filled the bunkhouse as everyone thought about what Buck had said. There was no way that Lou would go to all the trouble of sneaking out of Rock Creek, only to head somewhere that she would be recognized as a Pony Express rider. There were twice as many little settlements and outposts as way stations along any of the express trails out of Rock Creek. Lou was bound to pick one of those smaller towns to hideout in, finding out which one she had chosen was going to be the hard part.

**Chapter 33**

No one spoke for quite awhile. Teaspoon picked at his teeth with the end of the fork, a thoughtful expression on his face. He turned his head at an angle so that he could clearly see both Kid and Jimmy's faces. He gazed at them for several moments, his thoughtful expression changing into a more stern-looking one.

"Looks like you boys have quite a task a head of you. You not only have to find Lou, but you are going to have to convince her to return to Rock Creek with you.  
But I have faith in you boys. I know how persuasive you can be when you set your mind to it."

Kid and Jimmy felt the weight of the older man's gaze and fought not to squirm under its scrutiny.

"I don't care how long it takes you to find Lou or what you have to do to get her to come home. Just so long as you bring her home." He told them firmly.

There was no need for anyone to decipher for Kid and Jimmy the hidden message in Teaspoon's voice. It was clear to both the riders what Teaspoon was telling  
them clearly: they returned to Rock Creek with Lou either in tow or not at all.

"We'll find Lou and bring her home," Kid vowed.

"No matter how long it takes." Buck added.

"Even if I have to hog-tie her to the back of my horse." Jimmy exclaimed. "We'll bring her back."

Ike pounded on the table to get everyone's attention. (We're not going to find her at all if we don't start looking.)

"Ike's right. Lou's got a good head start on us already." Kid said, getting up from the table. He started to carry his dishes to the sink, but Rachel stopped him.

"You boys go on. I'll take care of this."

Kid grabbed his gear off his bunk and headed out of the bunkhouse with Jimmy, Buck and Ike following close behind. The others gathered on the porch to wish them good luck in finding Lou.

"You boys ride safe now, you hear!" Teaspoon told them.

"We will." Kid said and kicked Katie into motion. Jimmy waved his hat as he headed Sundancer after the direction that Kid had gone. Buck and Ike quickly  
followed suit as a chorus of 'Ride Safe' rang out after them.

**Chapter 34**

When Lou had ridden out of Rock Creek, she had not been prepared for the sudden rush of emotions that had swept through her. Nor had she been able to stop a  
flood of tears from filling her eyes and overflowing onto her cheeks. They ran down her face in scalding hot rivulets that fell in a raindrop pattern onto her saddle and Lightning's mane.

Lou had known that leaving Rock Creek was going to be hard; she just had not realized how hard. She was not just leaving her problems with Kid, her confusion over Jimmy's true feelings or a job behind; she was leaving the only 'real' family and home she had ever known, behind as well. She had meant what she had said in her letter about Teaspoon, Rachel and the boys.

Teaspoon was the father she had never really had. It was because of him and the boys that she had learned that not all men were cruel and heartless like her 'real' father, Ivan Boggs. While Teaspoon and her fellow riders were all uniquely different in personalities and backgrounds, they all possessed many of the same qualities she had come to admire so much in a man: They were honest, loyal, stubborn, caring, prideful, independent, loving and protective. Most of all, she knew that they would never dream of physically harming a woman or child.

Even though she and Rachel had ten off on the wrong foot when Teaspoon hired the older woman to replace Emma, they had quickly become fast friends.  
There wasn't anything Lou felt that she couldn't tell Rachel. Over the past couple of months, Rachel had been her friend adviser and comforter. Rachel had  
listened to her as she tried to work out her differences with Kid, never once calling her to task for her own behavior. Lou truly felt blessed to have Rachel Dunne in her life.

It was the thought that she would be causing any of them hurt by her departure that made Lou cry even harder. There was not anything she would not do or give to Teaspoon, Rachel and the boys, including her life. Just as she knew, they would do the same for her. However, knowing she was hurting them did not change her  
decision, to leave Rock Creek, it just made it harder.

Once Lou had reached the outskirts of town, she had slowed Lightning to a walk long enough to decide which direction she wanted to take. She had been too upset earlier, after overhearing Kid and Jimmy's volatile argument in the barn, to think about where she was going to go once she left Rock Creek. After a few  
moments, Lou kicked Lightning into motion and headed down the northwestern express trail.

**Chapter 35**

_Two miles outside Ft. Kearney_  
Early morning sunlight shone wearily down upon her Lou's slender shoulders as she and Lightning streaked across the wildflower-and grass-strewn prairie towards Ft. Kearney. She had ridden all night, stopping periodically besides a stream to refill her canteen, relieve herself, nibbled on some of the bread and fruit she had taken from the cupboards and allow Lightning an opportunity to graze and drink. Once or twice during the night, she had felt an unusual fluttery movement in her stomach at the oddest times, and it sent shivers of happiness racing through her. No matter how awful she felt over her messed up relationship with Kid, knowing she was carrying his child inside of her made her happy. Lou would place her hand on her abdomen and an overwhelming feeling of love, tenderness and peace would settle over her for a little while.

Lou was only a few miles outside of Ft. Kearney, when she decided to take a break to stretch her legs. Lou slowed Lightning to a stop then slid wearily out of the saddle and onto the grassy bank of a gently flowing stream. Her whole body ached over the strenuous ride she had just taken, and attributed the extra tiredness to the baby she carried inside of her.

Lou led Lightning down the slippery bank to the water's edge so that the tired stallion could drink. Lightning immediately sank his muzzle into the water and thirstily began drinking, making loud slurping sounds as he drank. Lou giggled at the sounds her horse was making as she crouched down beside him and dipped her hands into the water to drink. She drank several handfuls of the cool water until her thirst was quenched. When she was finished drinking, Lou removed a handkerchief from her pants pocket and dipped it into the stream. She shivered as the cold water touched her heated skin as she washed some of the trail dust and sweat off her face and neck.

As soon as she had cooled down, Lou stood up and began to examine Lightning for any injuries that he might have sustained during their long and strenuous ride.  
She had barely finished examining his hind-legs, when a sudden bout of dizziness hit her so hard that she fell to her knees. Nausea, chased closely by a shooting pain, swept through her abdomen at such an alarming speed that it doubled Lou over with the intensity of the pain. Tears sprang into Lou's eyes from the pain and the burning sensation of bile racing up her throat. Lou swallowed hard in an effort to keep from getting sick and was relieved a moment later when both the nausea and pain faded away.

Lou slowly lifted her head and except for a slight spin, was able to straighten out her body. She stayed in a kneeling position for a few more moments, waiting to see if another bout of nausea and pain would strike. When the few minutes had passed and nothing further had happened, Lou slowly got to her feet. She walked to the other side of Lightning and began fumbling with the piece of rawhide that held her valise strapped tightly to her saddle-horn.

After a few seconds, she succeeded in getting the valise freed from the rawhide, opened it and had begun searching its contents for the small packet of potassium carbonate that the doctor in Seneca had given her for the morning sickness. She hoped to find it and take some of the powdery substance before the next bout of nausea hit her. She knew she had been lucky a few moments earlier to have successfully swallowed back the bile that had threatened to erupt from her mouth. She knew she would not be so lucky the next time around.

When her hand repeatedly came up empty from within the articles of clothing inside, Lou began to frantically pull the garments inside out, shaking them as she did,  
hoping that by doing so the little packet would flutter to the ground where she could see it.

(Where is it!), Lou thought frantically to herself. She through the articles of clothing onto the ground, then turned the empty valise upside down and began shaking it furiously, hoping that the packet had been stuck within the lining and only needed to be shaken out.

(Please, please, let me find it!) Lou pleaded frantically, knowing that at any moment another bout of nausea would hit her. (Darn it!) She exclaimed, throwing the valise down on the ground.

Lou sank to her knees again as another bout of nausea swept through her. She scrambled on her hands and knees away from Lightning, the valise and her scattered clothing as bile burned up her throat. She had barely reached a clear stretch of grassy bank before vomit erupted from her stomach and out onto the  
bank. By the time, she was finished retching, her face was streaked with tears, her head was covered in sweat and her body was shaking uncontrollably despite the warm day.

**Chapter 36**

Lou was not sure how long she had stayed curled up on the grass, before she felt something tug lightly on her hair. Slowly she turned her head in the direction of where the tug had come and wondered vaguely if an Indian had snuck up on her while she had been laying immobile on the ground. She knew that if one had, she  
was as good as dead. She was not in any shape to stand up, let alone fight off an attacking Indian. As tired and sick as she felt right then, she did not think  
dying could be half as bad as she felt right now. She would not be feeling any pain at all.

Lou felt a quiet detachment settle over her as she thought about what being dead would mean to her. She would not have to worry anymore. She certainly would not be feeling any pain, emotional or physical. She would not have to put up with a bunch of boys telling her that she cannot do the same things that they can  
do, she could forget about her problems with Kid, her confusion over Jimmy, and the miserable past that she had had. In Heaven all, she would have to worry about his picking out her own fluffy cloud to lie down on and dream.

(Lou, you are definitely losing it.) She told herself firmly, shaking the last of her morbid thoughts out of her head. (You only have a little morning sickness and you're wondering what it would be like to be dead! Get a grip on yourself!)

Lou felt another tug on her hair and turned her face the rest of the way to the left. She let out a startled squeal as two flaming black buttons stared back at her from only an inch away. Lou began to giggle uncontrollably as she realized that the buttons she was looking into was actually Lightning's nostrils. As if anxious to make sure she was all right, the stallion's muzzle lowered again so that his teeth could clamp ever so lightly onto a strand of her hair and tugged on it. Lou lifted a hand and began to softly stroke his gentle muzzle.

"I'm alright fella. Just let me rest here for a little bit longer and then we will head on to Ft. Kearney. Before you know it, you will be in a comfortable stall eating your fill of hay and oats and I will be soaking in a cool bath. We're both going to need some rest before we go any further." She told him.

Lightning's long tongue darted quickly out and Lou received a slobbery kiss in response. She drew her head away from the horse with another laugh and wiped  
the saliva off her face with the back of her hand. "Don't be thanking me yet, fella. We've still got away to go before we can rest."

Another half an hour passed before Lou felt strong enough to get up. She stood up slowly and although her head swayed a little, she was able to quickly gather  
up her clothing and placed them back into the valise. After retying the valise to her saddle horn, Lou mounted Lightning. She kicked the stallion lightly in the stomach and the horse leaped into motion.

**Chapter 37**

Once they had reached the outskirts of Rock Creek, Kid, Buck, Ike and Jimmy slowed their horse to a stop at the place where all the express trails intermingled. Buck leaped off Racing Moon's back and began to carefully scrutinize the ground for the tracks that would tell him in which direction Lou had gone. Within a few minutes, he had carefully identified each set of hoof-prints belonging to the rider's favorite mounts, including Racing Moon's. He found the set of prints that Lightning had made the day before when Lou had returned to Rock Creek from Seneca.

"Well Buck, did you find Lightning's tracks yet?" Jimmy asked impatiently.

"I've found the tracks that he made when Lou rode into Rock Creek from Seneca yesterday." Buck said, without turning his head.

"What good are those tracks to us? We want to find out where Lou went, not where she's been!" Jimmy replied.

"Maybe if you'd shut up long enough to let him look, he'd find them!" Kid said, irritably.

"And if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be looking for Lou in the first place!" Jimmy retorted angrily.

Kid's face darkened with anger. "You were a part of her leaving too, Jimmy. I wasn't the only one who drove Lou away."

Jimmy opened his mouth to retort, but was stopped by Ike. Ike laid one hand on Jimmy's arm and one hand on Kid's. When he had the attention of both the riders, Ike drew his hands away and began to quickly sign. (Does it really matter which one of you was at fault? Does it? Can't either of you put aside her petty  
differences and jealousies and concentrate right now, on what is really important? Finding Lou should be the most important thing on your minds right now. After we find Lou and bring her home to Rock Creek, then you boys can go back to hating each other if you like. Only after, we find Lou.)

Kid looked at Ike sheepishly. "You're right Ike. Fighting with Jimmy is not going to get us anywhere. 'Sides, I don't hate Jimmy. I might not like him sometimes, but I don't hate him."

Ike shook his head at Kid's remark, clearly thinking that Kid had put his foot in it again. To his surprise, a slow grin spread across Jimmy's face in answer to Kid's remark.

"That's right, Ike. Kid and I don't hate each other. Life wouldn't be as fun that way. If we hated each other, he and I would have drawn down on each other a  
long time ago and you and I would not even be having this conversation right now. Kid wouldn't be around to cause me any grief!" Jimmy said, sarcastically.

The startled look on Kid's face was enough to set both Jimmy and Ike laughing. After a moment, Kid joined in and all three were still laughing as Buck remounted  
Racing Moon.

"What's so funny?" he asked, looking from each rider to the other.

"Nothing, Buck. You would have to hear what was said to understand, and we do not have the time to go through it again. Did you find out what direction Lou took?"  
Kid said.

Buck shook his head. "Yeah. Lou took the northwestern trail heading toward Ft. Kearney. Whether or not she stays there, I don't know."

"It doesn't matter. At least we have a lead on where to find her." Jimmy said. "It's better than nothing."

As if they were one rider and one horse, the four friends kicked their mounts into motion and thundered down the express trail heading toward Ft. Kearney.

**Chapter 38**

Ft. Kearney had been originally built as a military outpost in the spring of '35 on explicit instructions of President Andrew Jackson. Due in large part to the covert espionage of American agents in Russia and Britain, President Jackson had been alerted to the fact that both these foreign governments were planning to send large military forces across the Atlantic Ocean to claim these large, still un-chartered sections of land located at the back door of the U.S. for their countries. Not willing to allow the un-chartered land to be claimed by foreign peoples, President Jackson had hastened to send squadrons of the U.S. Army to set up outposts on each of the  
unclaimed sections of land in hopes of keeping the land out of British and Russian lands. On orders from President Jackson an in-depth study of the native wildlife, vegetation and peoples be included with the enlisted men's regular tasks.

A forty-foot high fence had been set up around the hundred acres or so of land that the CO and his enlisted men had claimed for American soil. A small group of buildings had been built within its barrier consisting of the CO's quarters, the mess hall, infirmary, barracks, ammunition bunker, stables and corrals for the livestock.

As time passed, the outpost became infinitely larger as the families of the CO and his enlisted men joined their husbands. With the inception of President Jackson's westward expansion the outpost soon evolved into a thriving frontier community. Although a good portion of the pioneers traveling from the eastern states continued onto Oregon and California, many of them became enchanted with building homes, businesses and farms in Missouri, Kansas and Nebraska. To accommodate the growing population, a portion of the original fencing had been torn down and re-built.

Lou slowed Lightning to a walk as she neared the guarded entrance to Ft. Kearney. Two clean-shaven young sentries stood to either side of the fence, hair neatly combed, bodies rigid, navy blue uniforms immaculate and black boots shiny despite the dusty road. Lou's eyes traveled up the coarse wooden fencing as she passed through the gate, picking out two more soldiers patrolling the narrow catwalk alongside its interior. All four soldiers wore Army issued pistols on their hips; sheathed swords attached to their belts and carried new Winchesters in their arms.

Despite the early hour, the streets of Ft. Kearney were teeming with activity. To Lou's far right was what had once been the original entrance to the fort and now served as the entrance to the Army compound. Lou could just make out a squadron of soldiers practicing firing drills and more soldiers unloading supplies from a wagon. In the corral nearest to the entrance, she could see another dozen or so soldiers putting their horses through a series of maneuvers that looked suspiciously similar to the ones Teaspoon had taught to her and the other riders. Without realizing what she was doing, Lou made a mental not to herself to share the new tidbit of information with Kid when she got back to Rock Creek.

(Stop it Lou!) She chastised herself! (Thinking about Kid's not going to get you anywhere, except maybe a bottle of whiskey and a pile of soppy handkerchiefs! You made the decision to leave Rock Creek because you did not want to fight with Kid anymore or tell him about the baby! You cannot have it both ways! Either you decide here and now to never see Kid again or you turn around and head back to Rock Creek and tell Kid he's about to become a father!)Lou scanned the brightly painted storefronts as Lightning maneuvered his way through the maze of moving wagons, carriages and horses lining the narrow streets. Storekeepers in twill pants, cotton shirts and flowing aprons straightened out produce bins or haggled with customers outside their stores. Women in colorful cotton dresses traipsed down the wooden sidewalks escorted by their husbands or beaus; window-shopped or gathered in talkative groups to discuss the latest fashions and gossip.

Businessmen in suits strolled down the sidewalks, tipping their hats at the women they passed, greeted neighbors or shook hands with business partners. Gamblers in brocade jackets and linen shirts, smoked cigars outside the various saloons and watched the goings on with amused disinterest. Gunfighters with notched gun belts strolled cockily down the sidewalks, jostling bodies, knocking off hats and calling bawdy comments at the women, daring anyone to be stupid enough to challenge them to a dual.

As Lou neared the General Mercantile, she noticed a group of farmers in faded denims and flannel shirts gathered on the steps, swapping stories, chewing tobacco and playing checkers. It wasn't until she was almost to it that two familiar faces came into her view amidst the group of men: Wiley Jenns and Tanner Buckley. Wiley was blond, blue eyed with an ego tripled the size of Cody's. Tanner was in his late fifties, wore a patch over one eye and was a friend of Teaspoon's from his Ranger days. Wiley rode for the express based out of Ft. Kearney and Tanner owned and operated the livery.

Hastily she ducked her head, pulled the brim of her hat down over her eyes and spurred Lightning into a canter. Reaching the nearest street a few moments later, Lou turned the stallion to the left, expecting at any moment to hear her name being called behind her. After several moments had passed without her hearing anything but the sounds of the bustling town around her, Lou let out a huge sigh of relief. She had known that she would be taking the risk of being spotted by coming into Ft. Kearney, but she couldn't help it. The child she carried was having a weakening affect on her usually sturdy disposition and she wanted nothing more than to find a clean room, take a warm bath, eat a hot meal and snuggle under some covers for a few hours.

**Chapter 39**

As Lightning continued to pick his way around other wagons and horses. Lou began to pay closer attention to the storefronts. Other than delivering important papers to the commanding officer at the Army garrison, spending time at the way station or doing some shopping in the stores in the main part of Ft. Kearney, Lou had never explored the town in its entirety. She was hoping to find another livery for lightning to spend the day in and a hotel or boarding house for her. Lou was about to turn down another street, when she noticed a crude wooden sign outside a large wooden structure at the end of the road she was on. Hoping it said what she thought it did, Lou motioned Lightning toward its direction.

A tall, black man with premature graying hair stepped out from the darkened interior of the barn as she and Lightning approached. He wore a heavy apron, denims and a faded cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up over massive biceps. Lou slid off Lightning's back as the man walked toward her.

"What can I do for you?" the man said. "Name's Trevayne Oakes, this here's my livery."

"How much to put my horse up for the day?" Lou asked, lowering her voice.

"Four bits. That includes a proper rubdown and a bit of molasses with his oats." Trevayne answered.

"Sounds fair. I'll return for him around seven." Lou told him, digging into her pocket and drawing out two quarters. "Don't suppose you know of a good boarding  
house around here? One that's clean and doesn't cost too much?"

Trevayne took a moment to study Lou, as if sizing her up before he answered. A moment later he said," Sure does. My sister Treva tends a boarding house about three  
blocks from here. Turn down that street there and follow it until you come to a white house with green trim. Tell Treva that Trevayne sent you and she'll do you up nice."

"Thanks." Lou told him, removing her valise and bedroll from Lightning's back and starting in the direction that Oakes had given her.

It didn't take Lou long to find the house that Oakes had described. A pretty black woman in a red calico dress and crisp apron answered the door after Lou's knock.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked.

"Are you Treva? Trevayne said you had a room for rent." Lou told her.

That's right. Why don't you come inside?" Treva said, opening the door wider and ushering Lou inside. Lou stepped into the foyer of the house and Treva closed the door behind her.

"Now, why don't you tell me exactly what my brother said?" she asked Lou suspiciously.

"Only that you had a room for rent. Although I got the impression that he was giving me a once over before he answered. "Lou replied.

To her surprise, Treva burst out laughing. "Sounds like Trevayne alright. He doesn't tell anyone new about my boarding house lessen he's checked them over first. It's his way of protecting me, even though I can shoot better than he can!"

Lou laughed along with Treva, then said," I've a few of those back home."

"It must be even more frustrating for you, being a man and all." Treva said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands.

"You have no idea." Lou commented.

"Now that we've done our laughing for the day, why don't you follow me into the parlor. I imagine that you're pretty anxious to get some sleep. You appear to have taken a long ride." Treva said and led the way into a bright and airy room filled with wicker furniture and plants.

She removed a ledger from a desk and handed it to Lou. Knowing that she could not sign the ledger under McCloud, Lou used Boggs. Just using the name of the evil man who had helped conceive her made her cringe, but Lou knew that the other riders would not think of looking for her under that name. After signing her name and paying the dollar for the room, Lou followed Treva up the winding staircase and down a hall. She immediately approved up the small clean room decorated in white and blues the color of Kid's eyes.

"Water closet is down the hall on the left if you'd like to take a bath before you leave. Dinner's at one and supper's at six. If you'd like I could send someone up around five-thirty or so to wake you."

"That'd be fine. " Lou said.

Treva closed the door and Lou locked it behind her. Lou decided to forgo the bath in favor of washing up in the basin. The water was cool and refreshing to the touch. When she was finished washing up, Lou poured some water into a glass and drank it thirstily down. Next, she stripped down to her long johns and crawled  
onto the bed and under the soft quilts. Thinking that she would only sleep a few hours, Lou closed her eyes and fell asleep thinking about Kid.

**Chapter 40**

"Which one of you boys are up for a ride?" Teaspoon asked Noah and Cody after the Kid, Jimmy, Buck and Ike had disappeared from sight.

"If you gents will excuse me, I have some cleaning to do." Rachel said, heading into the bunkhouse.

"As odd as it sounds Teaspoon, neither of us was scheduled for a run today." Noah told him.

"Why?" Cody asked.

"'Cause I need one of you to take a note to Ed Zeamer in Cottonwood explaining the situation and our need for backup riders." Teaspoon explained.

"Now wait a minute, Teapoon! You ain't planning on telling them boys about Lou being a girl are you?" Cody exclaimed.

"As soon as the company catches wind that Lou's really a she, she'll be out of a job faster than you could apologize." Noah added.

"Will the two of you stop that cackling for a damn minute and let me talk! Iffen either of you had any sense you'd know I'd never do anything like that to Lou! I'm just going to tell them that we got a rider missing and that we need some backup riders while some of ours is looking for the missing one." Teaspoon told them heatedly.

Relief flooded through Noah and Cody as Teaspoon continued in a more civilized tone. "Now, which one of you is going to make the run?"

Noah and Cody exchanged looks. Neither rider relished the idea of giving up their only day off in weeks. Even for such an important run as this one. Teaspoon caught the looks passing between the two riders and realized that they were silently arguing with each other over who was going to go.

He let out a long suffering sigh and said," Just for once I wish you boys could agree to do something for me without arguing about it first. Since you can't make a decision yourselves and I don't have the patience to listen to you argue it out, you boys are going to flip for it."

He dug into his pocket and pulled a nickel out. Balancing the coin between his thumb and forefinger Teaspoon said," Call it Cody."

"Heads." Cody said.

Teaspoon flicked the coin into the air. All the three men watched as the coin flew into the air and flipped over before landing back in Teaspoon's open palm. He slapped the coin onto his arm and lifted up his hand. The tail end of a buffalo looked up at them.

Noah groaned and Cody let out a loud "whoop."

"Best get your horse saddled, Noah, while I go write the note." Teaspoon told the black rider as he headed into the bunkhouse.

"I'm right on it." Noah muttered.

"I'll be sure to think about you Noah, while I'm taking a leisurely swim out at the swimming hole." Cody said jokingly, slapping Noah on the back.

"Shut up Cody." Noah said, stalking off the porch in the direction of the barn.

"Geez, some people just don't have a sense of humor." Cody said, shrugging his shoulders as he turned to head into the bunkhouse.

CHAPTER 41

"I'll be heading into town after I give Noah this note, Rachel.' Teaspoon was saying as Cody entered the bunkhouse.

"All right Teaspoon," Rachel said as she finished clearing off the table.

As Teaspoon got up from the table and started out the door, he stopped and turned around. "Jesse before you plan on hightailing it out of here today, the barn stalls need mucking and fresh straw needs to be laid.

"Aw, Teaspoon. I'm supposed to meet the fellows out by the swimming hole to go fishing at eleven." Jesse protested.

"Then you best get started." Teaspoon told him as he left the bunkhouse.

Jesse got up from the table where he had just finished off a second helping of peaches and cream. He carried his dishes over to the sink and handed them to Rachel,  
who put them in the basin of hot, sudsy water with the others to soak.

"Take them things on the table out to the cold pit on your way to the barn Jesse." Rachel told the teenager. "Rachel! Why do I have to do it? Why can't Cody? He  
isn't doing nothing but standing there!" Jesse exclaimed.

"Because I asked you to do it! Lessen you be wanting some more chores added on to the one you have, I suggest you stop complaining and get to doing it!" Rachel told him sternly.

"Yes ma'am." Jesse replied, picking up a crate beside the stove and loading the cold items into it.

Cody could not help chuckling at the disgruntled expression on Jesse's face as he left the bunkhouse. He wondered briefly if he acted the same way when asked to do something and with some embarrassment realized that he did. He made a silent vow to himself to try to work harder at doing things people requested of him without arguing or complaining about it first.

"I don't suppose there's any of them peaches left after Jesse got a hold of them?" he asked Rachel hopefully.

"Matter of fact there is. I saved the last bit of them for you myself." Rachel told him. Handing him a bowl and spoon covered with a white cloth.

"Thanks Rachel." Cody told her gratefully.

"You're welcome, Cody. You're going to need all the strength you can muster to replenish the woodpile, fix the chicken coop…" Rachel told him, continuing to name  
several more things.

Cody felt the same annoyance rising up in him that usually did when he was asked to do something. Instead of giving in to the urge to complain, Cody forced a smile on his face and said," I'll get started chopping wood as soon as I finish these delicious peaches Rachel."

Rachel's head swiveled around to stare at Cody in surprise. She did not think she had ever heard Cody be so amiable when faced with a list of chores. Obviously, the talk they had had the night before had made Cody think about quite a lot of things. If this was how the new Cody was going to be, she rather liked it.

A few moments later Cody rose from the table, handed Rachel his dishes and left the bunkhouse, telling Rachel to call him if she needed anything.

CHAPTER 42

Rachel set to work in earnest cleaning the bunkhouse as soon as she had it to herself. After washing the dishes, drying them and putting them away, Rachel set to work wiping down the cupboards, sink and table. She poured a little soap powder onto the stovetop, got a brush out from under the sink and began scrubbing the stove down. When the stove shined to her satisfaction, Rachel rinsed out the brush and emptied the bucket of water she had used. Next, she gathered up the riders'  
dirty laundry and placed it in a basket on the porch. Taking up the broom beside the stove, Rachel moved around the room sweeping up the dirt and crumbs that had gathered.

It was not until after she had swept under the set of bunks Kid and Lou shared and the dresser next to it, that Rachel noticed a white scrap of paper amidst the debris. Propping the broom handle against the dresser, Rachel bent over and picked the paper up. As she got a closer look at the paper, Rachel realized that it was actually an envelope of some sort.

Stepping closer to the window so that she could see better, Rachel un-tucked the flap and peered curiously in at the powdery substance inside. She poured a small amount of the powder out onto her hand. The powder was pale yellow in color, soft and had a sickly-sweet odor to it. To her it appeared to be some kind of medicine.

"I wonder where this came from." Rachel said aloud to the empty bunkhouse. "No one's been sick around here for quite some time."

The moment the last sentence was out of her mouth, an image of Lou the afternoon before swam before her eyes. Although Lou had acted as if she was in better spirits when she returned from Seneca, her physical appearance had still been poorly. Her face had been pale, her dark eyes had looked dim and they were rimmed with black.

Rachel's initial worry over how sickly Lou had started to look increased tenfold after finding the packet of powder. Even though she did not know what was wrong  
with Lou, Rachel felt sure that some malady had befallen the female rider and that was the real reason she had left Rock Creek.

Rachel removed her apron, flattened down the few strands of hair that had escaped from the bun at the nape of her neck and left the bunkhouse. As she was starting to walk into town, Rachel stopped abruptly and changed directions. Cody needed to be told about her discovery and the two of them could go into town together.

"Shut up Cody." Noah said, stalking off the porch in the direction of the barn.

"Geez, some people just don't have a sense of humor." Cody said, shrugging his shoulders as he turned to head into the bunkhouse.

CHAPTER 43

Tiny beads of perspiration dotted Cody's forehead as he swung the axe with even strokes. It puddled up in the center, and then trickled down either side of his face and into his eyes. The salty moisture stung them, causing tears to dwell up and cloud his vision. Cody paused in between strokes to wipe the perspiration from his eyes with the back of one hand. As soon as the salty moisture had been wiped away, Cody repositioned his hands on the axe and went back to work.

A short time later, Cody set down the axe and walked over to the horse trough and pump. He pumped the handle once, twice, before a trickle of water fell from the spout. When the water flowing from the pump had increased into a steady stream, Cody cupped his hands under the spout and drank thirstily. When his thirst had waned, Cody splashed water onto his face and head, and then started back over to the woodpile. He had just dragged a log onto the chopping block, positioned the axe on his shoulder and started to swing it, when the sound of his name being called stopped him in mid-motion.

Cody lowered the axe to the ground and turned in the direction his name had been called from. He squinted in the early morning sunlight and could just barely make out Rachel walking toward him. As she grew nearer, Cody could make out a troubled expression on her face. His own apprehension grew as he waited for her to reach him. Somehow, he had a feeling that Rachel's troubled expression had something to do with Lou.

When the housekeeper was within hearing distance Cody asked, "What's wrong Rachel?"

"I'm not sure, Cody." Rachel responded as she drew to a stop in front of him.

Cody's apprehension turned into puzzlement. "Why don't you tell me what's bothering you so we can figure it out together?"

Rachel smiled as the blond rider. For all his boasting and joking, Cody could always be counted on to be serious if the need arose. She made a metal note to herself to try to remember this sweeter, more serious side of Cody the next time he did something to exasperate her.

"I found this packet laying under the set of bunks that Kid and Lou share." Rachel told him, handing the packet to him.

"What's in it?" Cody asked as he examined the packet.

"Why don't you look inside and tell me what you think it is." Rachel suggested.

Cody did as she suggested. "Looks like some sort of powder. Talcum powder, maybe. What do you think it is?"

"I don't think its talcum powder, Cody. At least I've never seen powder that color before. I think its medicine." Rachel said.

"Medicine?" Cody said in surprise. "Why would medicine be lying around the bunkhouse? All the medical supplies are stored at your place and no one around here has been sick –"

Cody's voice broke off in mid-sentence as a sudden thought occurred to him. An image of Lou's pale, sickly figure the last time he had seen her, appeared before his eyes. "Lou. You think this belongs to Lou?"

Rachel nodded. "It makes sense doesn't it? You've seen how bad she's been looking lately?"

"Why wouldn't Lou tell us though? Why would she hide it?" Cody asked.

"I don't know Cody, but I'm going to find out."

"Have you shown this to Teaspoon?"

"No. I'm heading into town now."

"I'll go with you."

Cody grabbed his hat and shirt off a nearby fence-post and drew it on as they walked.

CHAPTER 44

In the hour since Teaspoon had come into town, he had broken up a drunken brawl outside the saloon, arrested the participants, took a lost child back to her parents, scolded two boys on the evils of gambling and picked up some more nails from Tompkins' store. He had barely arrived back at his office and taken his  
chair, when a loud ruckus outside caught his attention.

"This just isn't my day." Teaspoon muttered to himself as he got up from his chair and went to see what all the fuss was about.

On investigating where the ruckus was coming from, he discovered a crowd gathering on the steps of Tompkins store. "Now what has that man gotten himself into."

Teaspoon made his way through the crowd, brushing aside passersby so that he could reach the foot of the steps. When he had finally succeeded in breaking through the crowd, Teaspoon discovered Tompkins held two young boys firmly by the arms, while they struggled to free themselves from his grasp. Another child, this one a girl, was continuously kicking the aged storekeeper in the shins. All three children had hair the color of burnt copper and wore tattered clothing and holy shoes. By  
the pained, enraged expression on Tompkins face, it looked like the storekeeper was losing the battle.

Hiding his amusement over the storekeeper's predicament, Teaspoon climbed the steps. Seeing the badge shining on his shirt, the three children stopped fighting and promptly broke into tears. Teaspoon smiled down at them and was rewarded with shy smiles in return.

"Alright folks. Go on about your business, now." Teaspoon ordered the townspeople gathered. As soon as the crowd had dissuaded, Teaspoon turned his attention  
back to Tompkins and the children.

"I caught these Irish hooligans trying to steal produce from my store. When I caught them at it and started out of the store toward your office, that prissy there, came out of nowhere and started kicking me! You have to do something about all those foreigners camping outside of town Teaspoon. It's getting to where decent, hardworking folks can't even walk the streets of Rock Creek without running into a bunch of lying, thieving foreigners!" Bill Tompkins shouted, his rage deepening his already reddened skin to a rich magenta.

"'Me brothers and I aren't trash, you, you bad man!" the young girl cried out angrily. She swept back a leg in readiness of kicking the storekeeper in the shins once again, but was stopped by Teaspoon.

"Hold on a minute, missy." Teaspoon told the enraged child. "No cause to waste a good pair of shoes on kicking, when you could be running and playing instead." Then he directed his attention back to Tompkins. "How much fruit did they get?"

"None. I caught them with it before they could get out of the door." Tompkins replied.

"Then quit your bellyaching! I'm sure it won't happen again once I have a talk with the young ones parents." Teaspoon told the storekeeper.

"Fine. This town's going to come to ruins if we keep letting people like that in." Tompkins muttered angrily and entered his store.

Teaspoon rounded up the three children and escorted them down the street and a short distance out of town, where a group of Irish had made their camp. A tall man with the same hair came forward to claim the children and Teaspoon explained what had occurred in town. The man promised that the children would be disciplined  
for their misdeed and then explained to Teaspoon that their father had taken ill and died on the journey to America and that the children's mother was in frail health due to a recent miscarriage CHAPTER 45

As Teaspoon headed back into town, he made a note to himself to tell Doc Danes about the ailing woman and have Rachel take a basket of goods out to the encampment for the family. By the time that he had returned to his office, Barnett Bridges, his deputy was waiting for him.

"Howdy, Teaspoon." Barnett said, turning away from the cook-stove with two steaming cups of coffee. "Seeing how you hadn't started any coffee, I made some of my Ma's special brew."

Teaspoon took the mug warily. He had been warned many times by the riders' to never drink any of Barnett's specially brewed coffee for fear of death. Feeling Barnett's expectant eyes upon him, Teaspoon raised the cup slowly to his mouth and took a drink. He winced as the foul tasting liquid touched his tongue and had to  
swallow quickly for fear of spitting it out all over his clothes. "That sure is powerful coffee, Barnett."

Pleasure filled Barnett's face at Teaspoon's comments. "I knew you'd like it, Teaspoon. Everybody does once they taste it!"

"You're welcome, Barnett. I suppose I should start in on this mess cluttering my desktop." Teaspoon said, seating himself behind his desk. He set the mug of coffee onto the only clear space on his cluttered desk and set to work sorting through the mound of paper piled on top of it.

Barnett drank the last of his coffee down and began to straighten up the office. He emptied the trashcans, emptied and cleaned the spittoon, then began dusting the office. Teaspoon continued sorting through the paperwork on his desk, hoping that the headache he was starting to get was because of his deputy's off key singing and not his coffee. When Barnett began to furiously sweep the floor, raising his voice in a terrible rendition of "My Darling Clementine," Teaspoon's nerves could not handle it any longer.

"Barnett, can't you find something less noisy to do? Why don't you go patrol?"

"By myself?" Barnett said in surprise. "I thought you told me you didn't want me to do that again, after I arrested Mr. Polosky for breaking into his own store."

*Damn, I forgot about that.* "That was a long time ago Barnett. I'm sure you won't make the same mistake this time." Teaspoon told him.

"Okay. I'll go right now." Barnett said, setting down the broom and heading out of the office.

"Take your time." Teaspoon muttered quietly. "A long, long time."

CHAPTER 46

Teaspoon let out a huge sigh of relief after Barnett left the office. If he had had to endure another second of Barnett's caterwauling, he might have been forced to resort to drastic measures to shut his deputy up. Since the upstanding citizens of Rock Creek would have frowned upon him shooting Barnett to stop his caterwauling, Teaspoon had opted for a less messy solution. 'Sides he genuinely liked Barnett most of the time, even though he could be rather annoying.

He only hoped Barnett did not give him cause to regret his decision. The last time he had sent Barnett out on patrol alone; his deputy had mistakenly arrested the  
new banker, Mr. Kents, for attempted bank robbery. That mistake had led to the town council firing Barnett as deputy. It had taken considerable talking on his part to convince the town council to give Barnett a second chance.

Wearily he rubbed his temples with his thumbs in an effort to relieve some of the pain he felt there. The dull pain that had started after his confrontation with Tompkins had steadily increased into a full-blown headache. Knowing that he wasn't going to get any work done until he had gotten rid of his headache, Teaspoon decided to catch some shut-eye. Barnett would be gone for a while, his prisoners were fast asleep and God willing, no trouble would occur during the next hour or so. He rose from his chair, crossed to the door, closed the curtains at the windows on either side of the door and turned the open placard to closed, then went back to his desk. Normally he would have stretched out on one of the cots in either cell, but they were full, so his chair was going to have to do. Teaspoon tilted his chair back against the wall, propped his boots up on the corner of his desk, lowered his hat over his face and closed his eyes.

Teaspoon had no sooner fallen asleep than Cody and Rachel arrived at his office in town. Surprise filled both of them as they caught sight of the closed placard hanging on the door and the drawn curtains at the windows. Cody's initial surprise soon turned to wariness. Never had he known Teaspoon to close up the office so early in the day, unless he was expecting trouble. If Teaspoon had known that trouble was coming, he would have sent someone to get Cody at the way station or come himself. That could mean that trouble had arrived unexpectedly and Teaspoon had been unable to send anyone to the way station to get him.

Cody took hold of Rachel's elbow and led her back down the sidewalk in which they had just come. When they were far enough away from Teaspoon's office to talk Rachel spoke up.

"Something's wrong Cody. Why would Teaspoon close the office up? Wouldn't he have come for you if there was trouble heading our way?"

"Not if trouble came to call instead of sending a messenger." Cody told her, his blue eyes hardening at the thought of anyone harming the man he and the other riders' considered their father.

"What are you going to do?" Rachel asked.

"Go in after him." Cody told her. "I want you to stay here until I know it's safe."

"Wait just a darn minute Cody! I am not going to just stand by helpless while Teaspoon is in danger. I'm going in there with you!" Rachel protested angrily.

"We don't have time to sit here and argue about it Rachel! Teaspoon could be hurt or dying in there!" Cody shouted. "Now stay put!"

Before Rachel could protest ever further, Cody abruptly turned around and started cautiously approaching Teaspoon's office. He went into a crouch as he passed under the curtained windows and planted himself against the wall opposite of how the door opened inward. As quietly as he could, he removed his revolver from its holster and cocked the hammer back. He shifted his gun into his left hand and slowly reached for the doorknob and turned it until he heard the tumbler clear. He shifted his gun back to his right hand, took a deep breath, cast one last glance back in Rachel's direction, shoved open the door and hurtled himself inside.

CHAPTER 47

Teaspoon awoke with a start as the door to his office swung open and slammed into the wall behind it. Years of being an ex-Ranger and gunfighter swept through him as he threw himself onto the ground behind the desk and drew his revolver. He had barely maneuvered himself into a crouch, when something heavy hit the  
floor on the opposite side of his desk. Hoping to get the drop on whoever or whatever had crashed through his door, Teaspoon stood up, aimed his gun at and in  
an authoritative voice demanded,

"Come out from behind the desk with your hands up. I'm not aching to turn anyone into fertilizer today, but if pressed, I'll happily drill you so full of holes that even your mama won't be able to recognize you."

Cody's mouth dropped open in surprise at the sound of Teaspoon's voice. Relief swept through him as he called out, "Teaspoon? Is that you?"

"Cody? What in blazes are you doing? Do you have a death wish? Do you realize how close I came just now to pumping you full of lead?" Teaspoon asked irritably.

"Sorry, Teaspoon. When I saw the shut curtains and all, I figured trouble had come to call and acted accordingly." Cody said apologetically, rising to his feet and holstering his gun.

"Did you ever think to try knocking on the door first, Cody? Or maybe calling out my name to see if I was inside?" Teaspoon continued, holstering his own weapon.

"Shoot, Teaspoon. If I'd done that, I might have gotten us both killed." Cody said heatedly. "You always tell us that an element of surprise works best when you can't see how many opponents there are. I was only doing what you've drilled into all of our heads since the first day we met you!"

As the truth of Cody's words hit him, Teaspoon's irritation faded away and a sheepish grin appeared on his face. "I suppose you got me their Cody. Guess I am going to have to be careful of what I say around you boys from now on. Did not realize that you all were paying so close attention to me when I am talking. Half the time it seems that my words just go in one ear and out the other."

Cody grinned. "We only make it look like that, Teaspoon. Otherwise you're likely to talk us to death before you run out of things to say."

Before Teaspoon had a chance to reply to Cody's remark, a female voice spoke from behind them.

"I reckon it's safe for me to come in now, seeing how there aren't any dangerous criminals in here besides you two."

Cody and Teaspoon turned toward the doorway with startled glances on their faces. Rachel stood just inside the office, her hands on her hips and a wide grin on her face. There was a mischievous twinkle in her green eyes as she approached them and both men could see that her body was trembling slightly with an effort to contain the mirth they saw written on her face. Cody and Teaspoon exchanged sheepish looks as they realized that Rachel had witnessed what had happened.

CHAPTER 48

The moment Cody vanished from sight; Rachel crept closer to Teaspoon's office, despite Cody's order for her to stay back. She had kept low to the ground as she passed by the open doorway and planted herself in the same spot Cody had previously occupied. From her hiding place, Rachel had had a clear view of the interior of Teaspoon's office. She had barely been able to contain her laughter when she saw both Cody and Teaspoon crouched in almost identical positions on either side of the desk. She had just about decided to alert them both to the others' presence, when Teaspoon had stood up and ordered Cody to surrender.

"I never thought the day would come when I'd see the two of you drawing down on each other. Kid and Jimmy maybe, but not the two of you! Cody I wish you could have seen the look on your face when you heard Teaspoon's voice ordering you to surrender! I do not think God himself could have surprised you more, if he had called down from Heaven above and ordered you to surrender! And Teaspoon! I don't think I've ever seen your jaw drop open so far or fast before! It must have dropped clear to your knees, when you heard Cody call out your name!"

By the time Rachel had finished talking, she was laughing so hard that she could barely breathe. Cody and Teaspoon stared at the housekeeper in embarrassed silence as the housekeeper continued to laugh at what she had witnessed. Teaspoon's eyes began to twinkle with mirth and Cody's cheeks started to twitch as each began to see the humor in their earlier confrontation. It was not until Teaspoon and Cody caught the expression on each other's faces that their resolve broke and soon their raucous laughter joined with Rachel's and filled the Marshal's office for several minutes.

CHAPTER 49

Teaspoon wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes with the back of his hand, cleared his throat and said," Now that we've had our fun for the day, why don't you tell me why you came into town in the first place."

Teaspoon's words had a sobering affect on Cody and Rachel. Cody moved aside so that Rachel could stand closer to teaspoon. Teaspoon's eyes narrowed at the  
slight maneuver, wondering what else had gone wrong at the way station since he had left. As he continued to watch the housekeeper, Rachel removed a tiny white  
packet from her skirt pocket and handed it to Teaspoon.

"What's this?" he asked, as he took it from Rachel.

"A packet of yellow powder. I found it under the Kid's bunk when I was sweeping the bunkhouse earlier. Cody and I think it's some kind of medicine." Rachel explained.

"Why would you think its medicine?" Teaspoon asked as he examined the packet.

"Because of Lou. You have seen how poorly she has been looking lately, Teaspoon. We all have. Besides keeping the fact that she is a girl from everyone in town, you  
know how hard Lou works at trying to prove to all of us that she is as capable as the boys are at doing her job. There's no way Lou would risk admitting she was  
sick to any of us for fear of us making her seek medical attention and having her true identity discovered." Rachel told him.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Rachel, I think you may have something there. I've been wondering myself if there was something else bothering Lou besides her  
troubles with the Kid, but didn't want to press her on it." Teaspoon said.

"What are we going to do Teaspoon?" Cody asked.

"There's not much we can do until Kid and the others find Lou and bring her home." Teaspoon answered. "What we can do, however, is head over to Doc Danes and let him take a gander at this powder. Maybe he can tell us what it is and what it is used for. The more we know, the better we'll be able to help Lou when she does come home."

Teaspoon started out of the office, with Rachel and Cody following close behind. As they left the office, they came upon Barnett returning from patrolling and paused long enough for Teaspoon to issue his deputy some orders. Then they continued down the sidewalk in the direction of Doc Danes office. When they reached the two-story Victorian house that was the doctor's residence as well as his office, Teaspoon led the way through the gated white picket fence and up to the door. Teaspoon knocked on the oak door of the house twice, before settling in to wait with Rachel and Cody for somebody to answer it.

CHAPTER 50

About five minutes passed before a silver-haired elderly woman opened the door.

"Why Marshall Hunter, what brings you here?" Salika Danes asked in surprise. "And you have Rachel and Cody with you? Are you feeling ill, Marshall?"

"Uh, no ma'am. I feel as fit as a fiddle. We have come to talk to Doc Danes on some official business. Is he in?" Teaspoon replied.

"He's in with a patient right now, but he should be done shortly. You can wait for him in the waiting room." Mrs. Danes said, opening the door wider to allow them entry.

"Thank you, ma'am." Teaspoon said as he, Rachel and Cody stepped into the foyer.

Mrs. Danes led them into a large room off the foyer, which was decorated in earth tones and furnished with a mismatched collection of oak chairs and tables. After showing them into the waiting room, Mrs. Danes asked them if she could get them something to eat or drink before she left. All three declined and Mrs. Danes  
excused herself and disappeared through a door they knew led into the Danes' living quarters.

As soon as Mrs. Danes left the room, Teaspoon stood up and went over to another door opposite the chairs that they had taken. He knew that this door led into the  
hallway that connected the examining rooms, surgery, and Doc Danes office together. He opened the door, slipped into the hallway and motioned for Cody and  
Rachel to follow him. He led the way down the hallway, pausing briefly before each closed door to listen to voices coming from inside, before going onto the next  
one. It was not until they had reached the door that had Doc Danes name written on it in fancy handwriting, was there search rewarded. Teaspoon tapped lightly on  
the door one time, before opening it and going inside with Rachel and Cody behind him.

CHAPTER 51

A dark-haired man with wire-rimmed glasses, graying temples and mustache in a dark suit sat behind an ornate oak desk conversing with a red-haired young woman in a pastel pink shirtwaist and maroon skirt. Both turned toward the door in surprise as teaspoon, Rachel and Cody entered the office.

"I hope you have a good reason for barging into my office and interrupting my meeting with Mrs. O'Shay." Doc Danes demanded, rising from behind his desk and  
starting toward them with a darkening expression on his face.

"We're here on official business Danes." Teaspoon told him, unperturbed by the doc's anger at their intrusion.

He turned toward the red-haired woman with an apologetic tone in his voice. "Sorry ma'am for interrupting your talk with the doc."

"That's quite alright, Marshall Hunter. Doc Danes and I were about finished." The woman replied and started toward the door.

"I'll walk you out Jen. I've been meaning to come by your place and get your applesauce cake recipe." Rachel said.

"There's nothing to it Rachel, you just-," Mrs. O' Shay said as the two women left the room.

As soon as the two women were no longer within earshot, Doc Danes exploded. "How dare you barge into my office while I'm with a patient? My patients expect  
a certain amount of privacy when they seek my assistance and I'll not have that jeopardized because of you!"

"Quit your blustering Danes. None of us are interested in listening to you run off at the mouth. One of my riders' is missing and I need your help." Teaspoon told him.

"I should have known." Doc Danes said sarcastically. "One of your riders' being in trouble hardly qualifies for being official business Marshall Hunter. If I had a gold coin for every time I have had to tend to one of your hotheaded young ruffians, I would be a rich man by now. What ever possessed those Pony express folks to hire such a sorry bunch of orphans is beyond me. They've even managed to train a half-breed to hold down a steady job, although I wouldn't be surprised to learn one day that he's scalped you all in your sleep."

"Don't you talk about Buck like that, you, you pompous jackass!" Cody exclaimed angrily, lunging at the older man.

Doc Danes shrank back in alarm as Cody lunged at him. Teaspoon stepped nimbly forward and grabbed Cody before he reached the doc. Cody glared at the doc over Teaspoon's shoulder.

"Let me go Teaspoon! You heard what he said about Buck!" Cody shouted, struggling in the stationmaster's grasp.

"I'm not going to stand here and listen to this long haired smart mouth ruffian insult me, Marshall! I'm a law abiding citizen and I deserve to be treated with respect!" Doc aid indignantly.

"As much as I'd enjoy seeing you whip the tar out of him, Cody, I can't let you do it because we need his help. Can you ignore him long enough to do that?" Teaspoon told the struggling rider.

Reluctantly Cody agreed and Teaspoon released his hold on him. Doc Danes took another step back, as if expecting Cody to lunge at him again. Cody cast another glare over Teaspoon's shoulder at the doc before going to stand against the wall near the door. He had barely taken up his angry stance by the door, when the door opened and Rachel entered.

As if sensing that something had occurred while she was out of the room, Rachel cast questioning glances across the room as she took a seat in the chair Mrs. O'Shay had previously vacated. Teaspoon sent her and I will explain later' look and turned his attention back to the doc.

He leveled an icy look upon Doc Danes face and there was an edge of steel in his voice when he spoke. "If you ever make another remark like that about one of my  
riders, I'll forget I'm wearing this badge and mop up the floor with you myself. My boys may be hotheaded and impulsive at times, but their good men and I would trust any of them at my back during a gunfight, which is more than I can say for any other man in Rock Creek! I do not have the time to stand here and argue with you though! I have a rider who has gone missing under some questionable circumstances and we need your help. So why don't you stuff all that hot air you've been expending at our expense back into that oversize balloon you call a head and shut up long enough to help us!"

Doc Danes bristled under the sharp insults Teaspoon shot at him. He swallowed audibly under Teaspoon's steady glare and nervously wiped again at the sweat dotting his forehead. When he had managed to gain some of his composure back, he spoke.

"I can't find out what the powder is unless you give it to me."

Teaspoon nodded to Rachel, who stood up and handed the packet to Doc Danes. Doc Danes took the packet from her outstretched hand and examined it carefully.  
After smelling and tasting it like Teaspoon had done earlier, he started out of the office and motioned to Teaspoon, Rachel and Cody to follow. He led them down the hallway and into one of the examining rooms that Teaspoon, Cody and Rachel had passed earlier. As the threesome took up positions near the door, Doc Danes crossed to a cluttered workspace nestled between a set of large wooden cabinets. As the threesome watched, Doc Danes took an empty glass vial from a holder on the workspace and poured the powder into it. Next, he took a dipper of water from a nearby bucket and added water to the vial. Doc corked the vial and with a flick of his wrist shook it one time. Almost immediately miniscule bubbles began to form inside the vial and rise upward to the top.

"Well Doc, what'd you find out," said Teaspoon impatiently.

"The powder is potassium carbonate," Doc told him, turning away from the workspace and starting toward them with the bubbling vial in his hand.

Why's it bubbling?" asked Cody.

"It's bubbling because you are seeing the potassium carbonate in its active form. When dry the carbonate lays dormant until water is added," explained Doc.

"What's it used for?" Rachel asked.

"It's used as a tonic of sorts to relieve the more discomforting symptoms of heartburn, ulcers, indigestion and nausea caused by morning sickness. In fact I make it a standard practice to give to all my patients in their early months when morning sickness is most prevalent," Doc continued.

Teaspoon, Rachel and Cody exchanged startled glances at the doc's last few words. It was obvious to all three of them that the possibility of Lou being pregnant had never occurred to any of them. Now that the idea had been brought to their attention, it did not seem so far fetched a possibility.

"Uh, thanks doc, for all your help. We've got to be going now," Teaspoon said quickly, starting out of the room with Cody and Rachel following close behind.

"Your welcome, I guess." Doc Danes called after them, puzzled over their sudden departure.

Teaspoon led the way out of the doc's office and onto the crowded sidewalk. Mindful of the people milling around, the threesome started back to Teaspoon's office in silence, thoughts of a pregnant and alone Lou filled their minds as they walked. Once they had reached the privacy of Teaspoon's office and had checked to make sure Barnett was not within hearing did anyone speak?

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Cody asked.

"If you're thinking that Lou left Rock Creek because she found out she was pregnant, then yes I am." Rachel told him.

"Yep, that's what I was thinking alright." Cody told her. "What are we going to do Teaspoon?"

"There isn't anything we can do Cody. At least not right now," Teaspoon told him. "All we can do is hope that the boys find her and convince her to come home with them."

"Why do I get the feeling that that's going to be a lot harder than we think?"

"Because we're talking about Lou here. Never known a woman quite so stubborn or determined as Lou is to do what she wants to do once her mind is set on doing  
it." Teaspoon commented. "Those boys will certainly have their work cut out for them."

No one spoke as all three pondered over what Teaspoon had said. Each had a feeling that they would not be seeing any of the absent riders' any time soon. All that they could do would be to sit and wait to see if Kid, Jimmy, Buck and Ike's search for Lou paid off and hope that they could successfully convince her to return to Rock Creek and the people who loved her.

CHAPTER 52

Darkness had fallen over the countryside as Kid, Buck, Jimmy and Ike galloped down the express trail toward Ft. Kearney. They did not speak much as they rode, each lost in their own thoughts. Buck led the way, his keen eyesight picking out Lightning's tracks even though the trail was now shrouded in shadows. While Buck was relieved at having found Lou's trail so easily, he found it somewhat disconcerting to know she was heading into such a well-populated area. It could only mean that Lou had run into some sort of trouble after leaving Rock Creek and was seeking safety in Ft. Kearney. He kept his suspicions to himself, not caring to be the one to trigger another explosive confrontation between Kid and Jimmy.

CHAPTER 53

Buck reined Racing Moon to a stop beside the swiftly flowing stream that Lou had rested by earlier that day and dropped lightly to the grassy bank. He crouched down and searched the ground for more of Lightning's tracks. He had followed Lighting's almost up to the stream, but had suddenly lost them ten feet from the bank. The suddenness of their disappearance had alarmed them, but he had brushed aside the panic he had felt until he could do a thorough search of the surrounding area.

Ike, Kid, and Jimmy dismounted and led their horses down the embankment to the water's edge, Ike taking Racing Moon's reins from Buck and leading him along with Thunder. Carefully Buck scrutinized the grass-covered ground for hoof prints and was relieved when he found another set a short distance away heading toward Ft. Kearney. Almost instantly, his relief faded away when he realized that two of the hoof prints were located near what appeared to be a body sized indentation in the grass, a petite indentation to be exact. That indentation alone told him what he had already feared, that Lou was injured and seeking help in Ft. Kearney. As much as he hated to be the one to tell Kid and Jimmy what he suspected, he knew that he had to. They needed to be prepared in case it was serious.

With some reluctance, Buck stood up and made his way down the embankment to the water's edge. His fellow riders turned toward him with questioning looks on  
their faces. He ignored the looks they gave him, dropped to a crouch beside the stream, cupped his hands and drank thirstily of the refreshing water.

Ike pounded on his chest to get Buck's attention and asked him the question they all wanted to know the answer to. *Is Lou still heading for Ft. Kearney?*

"Yes," Buck answered. He paused a moment before he continued, "I also found a body sized indentation in the ground at the top of the embankment. It looks like it could have been made by someone as small as Lou."

"What are you trying to say, Buck? Do you think something's happened to Lou?" Kid demanded.

"No, I'm just telling you what I found. Besides, she must not be hurt too bad because she's still heading into Ft. Kearney," Buck replied.

"We're not going to find out what's wrong with Lou standing around here," Jimmy said, starting up the embankment with Sundancer.

Kid, Buck and Ike followed behind him and once up top, all four riders quickly mounted their horses and kicked them into motion, each filled with even more determination to find the missing female rider.

CHAPTER 54

Lou awoke once again in a strange room to the sound of someone knocking lightly on the door to her room at Treva's boarding house. She listened groggily to the steady tapping, but felt in no hurry to crawl out of the warm bed to answer the door. The knocking ceased after a few minutes and Lou snuggled further under the quilts and started to fall back asleep. She was almost asleep when her stomach made a gurgling sound and Lou sat up quickly in bed, certain that she was about to be sick. The gurgling sound faded away and in its wake left Lou feeling incredibly hungry.

She scooted to the edge of the bed and slid cautiously out onto the hardwood floor, half-expecting to feel the mind-reeling dizziness and stomach clenching nausea that had plagued her for the past two weeks. Lou couldn't help hoping that she had experienced the last of the morning sickness that the doc in Seneca had told her about was gone for good, but knew that her luck couldn't be that good. Nothing in her relationship with Kid had happened easily and she expected the same to be true with having his child. She decided to take what relief from morning sickness she could get as a blessing forever how long it lasted and thanked the child she carried for its cooperation.

As if in response to thanking it, the child inside of her moved and Lou felt a fluttery sensation sweep across her abdomen. The suddenness of the movement caught her off-guard and made her cry out in surprise. While the movement was not exactly painful, it was slightly uncomfortable and unnerving as hell. Lou sat slowly back down on the bed and placed a hand over her still-flat stomach.

"I reckon I haven't spent much time thinking about you little one, other than to wondering why you chose this time to get born. As much as I love your pa, he infuriates the hell out of me and things could not get any worse between us. I do not doubt that your pa loves me, but we're too different and want different things out of our relationship right now. When I found out about you, I knew that I had to leave Rock Creek. I couldn't tell your pa about you right now cause he'd of had wanted to get married so you could be raised proper-like and I just couldn't handle that. Marrying someone should be because you want to, not cause you feel obliged to. Don't you worry any, darling. Mama's going to take very good care of you and eventually I will tell your pa about you. I would not want you to miss having a real pa like the one I did and I know Kid would be the best pa. He will treasure you about as much as I do, little one. But for now, it is just going to be the two of us.  
Okay?" Lou whispered softly.

Again, the fluttery sensation swept through her abdomen and this time Lou knew that the baby was responding to her talking to it. Lou's eyes filled with tears as a kaleidoscope of emotions swept over her. In the space of a few heartbeats, Lou fell head-over-heels in love with the baby she carried inside of her.

CHAPTER 55

Lou had barely risen from the bed and made her way carefully to the bureau to light the lamp, when someone began knocking again on the door to her room. She jumped in surprise and let out a muffled cry. Stifling the urge to giggle at her own foolishness, Lou fumbled for the butt of her gun hanging from its holster at the foot of the bed. She planted herself against the wall next to the door, cocked her gun and spoke gruffly,

"Who is it?"

"It's Trevayne, Mistah Boggs. Treva sent me up tell you that supper will be on the table in about ten minutes." A deep voice answered.

"I'll be down in a few minutes." Lou told him, easing her finger off the trigger of her gun.

"All right, Mistah Boggs," Trevayne called back.

A moment later Lou heard the sound of Trevayne's footsteps retreat down the hallway. She holstered her gun and dressed quickly in a clean pair of denims and shirt. After slipping into her boots, Lou fastened her gun belt around her waist, put on her hat and glasses and left the room. Once she had reached the lower level of the boarding house, Lou followed the tantalizing aromas permeating the air through the parlor and into the dining room.

Treva greeted her with a warm smile and directed her to a vacant chair on one end of the long oak table. Lou took the chair Treva indicated and bowed her head as Trevayne said a blessing over the meal. When he had finished saying the blessing over the meal, Trevayne introduced Lou to the other diners at the table. She  
took an immediate disliking to the harmless looking Mr. Spencer (a dime novelist) who she had, unfortunately, been seated next to and was careful to answer his prying questions with evasive answers. She and the other riders, except maybe Cody, had learned to distrust all dime novelists after Jimmy's experience with J.D. Marcus.

After thoroughly enjoying a scrumptious meal of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, collard greens, buttermilk biscuits and apple pie, Lou thanked Treva for the fine meal and excused herself. Before leaving the room, Lou inquired about how late the boarding house doors stayed open. Pleased to hear that she had decided to stay the night, Treva told Lou that she locked the doors at ten o'clock. Lou made her way through the parlor to the foyer and out the front door  
into the night.

The night sky was clear except for the silver moon that hung overhead. A slight breeze offered her some respite from the otherwise warm evening and Lou found herself glad that she had left her jacket in her room. Lou strolled along at a leisurely pace as she headed toward Trevayne's livery to check on Lightning. As she walked, Lou occasionally stopped before a store's windows and peer in at the goods displayed. One store's display in particular caught Lou's attention with an assortment of craftily sewn, crocheted, and quilted baby items.

Lou gazed at the tiny items in wonder and tried to picture what it would be like to hold a person so small as to fit into the tiny clothing before her. Of course, she had had some experience in taking care of babies, since she had helped her Ma with both Jeremiah and Theresa when they were born. She knew though that this time around it would be much different. She would not be caring for someone's baby, she would be caring for a child that both she and Kid had created and that made it infinitely more special.

She stood there for several minutes, imaginatively dressing her son and daughter up in the finery before her. Always when she imagined their looks, whether it is a boy or girl, the child would have a full head of chestnut curls, azure eyes and lopsided smile just like its pa. The sound of shattering glass nearby startles Lou out of her reverie and made her spin around in surprise. Raucous laughter followed by a gunshot drew Lou's attention down the street to a shabby looking building at the end of the street. Hoping no one had observed her strange behavior; Lou glanced obscurely around and then proceeded onto the livery.

CHAPTER 56

Kid, Jimmy, Buck and Ike slowed their mounts to a walk outside the entrance to Ft. Kearney. The two soldiers on sentry duty gave them bored, but alert nods as they passed through the gate. Kid reined Katie to a stop just inside the fort and waited for the other riders to do the same.

*What are you stopping for Kid?* Ike signed.

"I think that we ought to split up and do a brief look around town to see if we can locate another hotel, boarding house or livery." Kid said.

"Why?" Buck asked.

"Because if Lou came into Ft. Kearney like we think, she wouldn't go anywhere near the hotel or way station, for fear of someone spotting her and reporting it back  
to us." Jimmy explained.

"Let's meet back here in about ten minutes," Kid suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Jimmy said, kicking Sundancer into motion.

"Dang it Lightning! Hold still!" Lou exclaimed irritably as she struggled to keep her grip on the stallion's right hind leg so she could examine his hoof.

She had reached the livery a short time earlier and had proceeded to give Lightning a thorough examination. He had not offered up any struggle until she was almost through and had picked up his last right hind leg to examine the hoof for any pebbles or cuts embedded in the thick flesh. Lightning through his rump into his mistress that sent Lou stumbling backwards into the wall and causing her to lose her grip on his hind leg. He backed up as far as he could go and glared defiantly at Lou over his shoulder. Lou straightened up, set her shoulders and determinedly approached the stallion. Planting her left elbow firmly in between his rump and abdomen, Lou picked up the hind leg non-to-gently in her left hand and bent it upward so she could see the underside. Lightning struggled to free his hind leg from his mistress' grasp, but Lou held on. Taking a quick look, Lou located a thumbnail sized pebble wedged between the padding and wall of the hoof. Using a hoof pick, Lou picked the pebble free from the hoof and released Lightning's leg.

"There you go boy," Lou crooned softly as she patted Lightning's neck. "That nasty ole pebble won't bother you anymore."

After making sure Lightning had enough water and hay, Lou left the livery and started back to the boarding house. She was only about a block away from the boarding house when she noticed a chestnut stallion tied to the hitching post out front. There was something eerily familiar about the horse, but Lou could not pinpoint what it was until the door open and a figure bounded down the steps. Lou took one look at the figure and gasped. She would know that red-bandanna covered head anywhere. It was Ike! And wherever Ike was, Buck and the other riders could not be too far away.

Lou ducked into the alleyway between two stores, her heart pounding as she heard hoof prints near where she was hiding. She held her breath, as the hoof prints grew louder, hoping that Ike had not spotted her ducking into the alleyway. Luckily, the horse and mute rider continued past her hiding place and Lou breathed a huge sigh of relief. As soon as she thought, it was safe; Lou darted out of the alleyway and ran for the safety of the boarding house.

CHAPTER 57

Lou waited until she was sure Ike had turned down another road, before she darted out of the alleyway and raced down the sidewalk toward Treva's boarding  
house. She ran up the front steps, let herself inside and quickly closed the door behind her. She leaned heavily against the door for a moment or two while she caught her breath, and then hurried across the lobby and up the stairs to her room. It was not until she had reached the privacy of her room, that Lou let her swirling emotions surface.

"Darn it! Why would they have to come looking for me? Why couldn't they just accept that I left Rock creek because I wanted to and left it me alone? Don't they know it was hard enough on me to leave Rock Creek, without forcing me into a confrontation with them?" Lou exclaimed angrily, as she paced back and forth in her room.

*Because they love you Lou.* A voice whispered at the back of her head.

"Love me? Those boys do not know what love is; otherwise, they would let me be! They'd let me live my life the way I want to without any of them trying to change me into  
something I'm not, tie me down or smother me with their protectiveness! I can take care of myself and this baby and I don't need anybody's help, especially not Kid or Jimmy's!" Lou vented.

*You know that's not true, Lou! You do not know the first thing about caring for a baby. Do you really want to raise yours up alone, without him/her growing up to know whom his/her papa is? Is that fair to Kid or the baby?* the voice whispered again.

"Kid's made it plain that he doesn't want to have anything more to do with me, so why should I worry about him or his feelings! This is my baby and I'm going to take good care of it and to hell with Kid wants!" Lou continued.

*But Lou* the voice began again, but Lou angrily cut in before it could continue. "Oh, shut up already!"

Lou stopped her angry pacing and sat down on the edge of her bed. She placed her hands lovingly over her stomach. "Little one, you don't go fretting none. Your mama is going to take right good care of you. I've just got to find away to get out of town without your papa or uncles finding me."

Lou smiled as her stomach moved in answer to her talking to it. Then she sobered. It was going to take some doing to get out of town without Kid, Jimmy and the others finding her. Especially now that she knew, Ike had discovered Treva's boarding house. It was only a matter of time before one or more of her fellow riders returned to the boarding house for the night and she needed to be out of there by then. Lou got up from the bed and started repacking her saddlebags.  
Just because the boys had come looking for her, did not mean Lou had to sit around and find her.

CHAPTER 58

Kid paced anxiously back and forth in front of the hotel as he waited for Jimmy, Buck and Ike to show up. His search of Ft. Kearney had proved futile and he had returned to the hotel to await the arrival of the others. He hoped that Buck, Ike or Jimmy would return with a lead on Lou.

He had only been waiting for a few minutes when jimmy rode up on Sundancer. Kid could tell by the scowl on his friend's face that Jimmy had not had any luck either. Jimmy reined Sundancer to a halt, dismounted and tied his horse's reins to the hitching post before joining Kid on the sidewalk.

"I take it you didn't have any luck either?" he asked Kid.

"Nope. Let's hope Buck or Ike had better luck than we did."

"Looks like we're about to find out" Jimmy said, pointing down the street. "Here they come now."

Kid turned his head in the direction that Jimmy had indicated and watched as Buck and Ike rode up. He tried to judge by their expressions whether their searches had been successful, but could not read either rider's face. He was just going to have to wait until they came to a stop and spoke. Kid didn't have too long to wait cause as soon as Ike had reined Thunder to a halt, his hands began to move. Ike's hands literally flew through the air in his excitement to convey to the others what he had found out. After a few minutes both Kid and Jimmy gave up trying to follow what Ike was signing and waited for Buck to tell them what Ike had found out.

Buck waited until Ike's hands had stopped moving before turning to Kid and Jimmy. "Ike found a boarding house about three streets back and to the far right. The boarding house lights were still on so Ike went inside and inquired if they had any rooms available. There was...one… so Ike paid for it and signed the register. As he was signing, Ike let his eyes stray over the pages and found that someone had signed in the night before under the name of Lou Boggs."

"Wasn't that the name Lou's pa went by?" Jimmy asked Kid.

"It sure is." Kid said excitedly.

"Ike said he didn't question the woman at the boarding house about the signature, for fear it would get back to Lou and she'd take off before we talk to her." Buck  
continued.

Ike slapped his chest to get their attention. *I also found another livery. Treva, that is the woman who owns the boarding house, she told me her brother, owns it.*

"Great job Ike!" Kid told him. "How much do you all want to bet that we'll find Lightning there?"

"Only Cody would be fool enough to take a bet like that." Jimmy joked.

The others laughed at Jimmy's joke, agreeing that only the blonde haired rider would be willing enough to take such a bet. As quickly as their laughter came, it faded.

"So what are we going to do now?" Buck asked.

"One room isn't going to be enough for us all." Kid said thoughtfully. "How's this? Ike and Jimmy will share the room he rented at the boarding house and Buck and I will stay here in the hotel."

"Sounds good to me. That way Ike and I'll be able to keep a look out for Lou." Jimmy told him. "That okay with you Ike?"

Ike nodded his agreement. *Jimmy and I will take the horses and get them bedded down for the night.*

"Good idea. After Buck and I rent our rooms we'll go into the dining room and order us all something to eat." Kid said.

Buck swung down off Racing Moon's back and then handed the horse's reins to Ike. Jimmy mounted Sundancer and then untied the palomino's reins and Katie's from the hitching post and followed Ike as he kicked thunder into motion. Buck and Kid watched them for a moment before heading into the hotel.

CHAPTER 59

Meanwhile back at Treva's boarding house, Lou had regained control of her seething emotions and plotted her next course of action. She knew that she could not stay at the boarding house until morning for fear of running into any of her fellow riders. So she had decided to spend the night in Lightning's stall so they could slip out of town at first light.

Lou could not help feeling a little guilty about sneaking out of the boarding house without saying goodbye to Treva. She had taken an instant liking to the woman and in different circumstances would have liked getting to know her better. Besides it was not as she was slipping out without paying her bill, it was paid up until morning. She slid her saddlebags over her shoulder, picked up a valise and slipped out into the hallway, descended the stairs and exited the boarding house.

Lou cautiously made her way back to Trevayne's livery, sticking close to the buildings and shadows so as not to be seen by anyone traveling down the streets. When  
she reached the livery a few moments later, Lou removed the two by four from the latch and slipped inside, closing the door behind her. She let her eyes adjust to the dark interior of the livery, before starting across the front area toward the corridor that led between the stalls. She did not bother to light a lantern to see, for fear of someone on the street seeing it and drawing them to the livery to investigate. As she neared his stall, Lightning let out a soft whinny welcoming her. Lou stopped before his stall and put out a hand to stroke his soft muzzle.

"Looks like you and I are bunking together for the night, fellow." Lou whispered as she unlocked the stall door and stepped inside. She had barely dropped her valise, bedroll and saddlebags onto the stall's floor and had one arm draped over the stall door, locking it, when the doors to the livery burst open.

Lou jerked her arm back into the stall and crouched down onto the hay-strewn floor. Her right hand hovered near the butt of her gun as she listened intently for  
footsteps or voices entering the livery. Lou did not have long to wait before she heard the distinct clomp of boots on the wooden floor as someone entered the  
livery. A few moments later Lou heard what sounded like a match being struck against wood and then the clanking of glass against metal as a lantern was lit.  
Then Lou heard another set of boots join the first inside the livery.

Although Lou now knew that at least two people had entered the livery, she still did not know who they were or whether they would prove to be friendly or dangerous. One thing she knew was that neither person was Trevayne. Lou was sure that if it had been Trevayne who had opened the doors, he would not only announce his presence, but also demand whoever was inside to identify them or risk dire consequences.

As Lou huddled in the dark stall next to Lightning, an array of noises reached her ears: boots tapping, floorboards creaking, hooves clumping, leather was crinkling and stirrups jangling. At the end of each series of noises, Lou heard a loud thud that she interpreted as saddles hitting the floor of the livery. A wave of relief flooded over Lou as she realized that the intruders were only interested in bedding their horses down for the night and not looking to start any trouble.

That knowledge did not stop her from tensing up a moment later as someone started down the row of stalls. Quietly Lou lowered herself from a crouching position into a sitting one and drew her knees up to her chest. She held her breath as the footsteps neared the stall she was in, and then stopped suddenly as Lightning let out a welcoming whinny. Lou froze at the sound, knowing that the person on the other side of the stall door had to be one of her fellow riders!

CHAPTER 60

Ike set Thunder at a brisk pace as he and Jimmy rode away from the hotel in search of the livery the boarding house owner had told Ike about. Neither rider spoke as they navigated through the dark, deserted streets, each wanting to locate the livery, bed the horses down for the night and return to the hotel to meet Kid and Buck. When they turned down the street that the boarding house was on, Ike pointed it out to Jimmy as they passed by it.

A short time later they rode up to a large wooden building that even in the dark, looked like it was need have repair. Ike and Jimmy exchanged doubtful expressions as they dismounted.

"Sure don't look like much." Jimmy commented.

*As long as the horses are taken care of, it doesn't really make a difference what the building looks like.* Ike replied.

"Guess not. Why don't you start unsaddling the horses, while I open the doors." Jimmy suggested.

Ike nodded and started to unfasten the girth of his saddle from around Thunder's stomach. Jimmy moved toward the livery to open the doors. He could not help noticing that the bar that held the doors in place was missing, but figured the livery owner was planning on checking the animals in his care again before going to bed. Jimmy gripped the handles on each door and gave them a hearty tug. The doors opened easily and soon Jimmy had secured them against the wall on either side of the entrance. Jimmy stepped into the livery and swept the walls on either side of him with his eyes, looking for a lantern.

He spotted a lantern and box of matches on a shelf to his left, struck one of the matches against the wall and lit the lantern. He turned the knob on the lantern at an angle, so that the interior of the livery was filled with a soft glow. Jimmy gave the large area he stood in a quick perusal and saw that his and Ike's doubtful reaction to the exterior, was not an accurate assumption for the interior. Blacksmith implements were arranged neatly on shelves, a keg of expertly crafted horseshoes stood in one corner, with barrels full of grain in another. Harnesses, bridles and other tack hung from nails on the walls and another shelf was covered with currycombs, hoof picks, tinned salves and other items used in the care of horses.

Ike stepped into the livery beside him and touched his arm. *Come on Jimmy. Let's get this done so we can join Buck and Kid at the hotel. I'm hungry.*

Jimmy nodded and set the lantern back on the shelf, then stepped outside to help Ike finish unsaddling the horses. They made quick work of it and stacked the four saddles beside each other on the livery floor. Jimmy motioned to Ike that he was going to head to the back of the livery to see what stalls were available. He crossed the open front area and started down the long aisle of stalls. He'd barely gone a few feet when a loud whinny pierced the quiet interior, next to his ear, startling him into drawing both of his guns.

When Jimmy could breathe again, he realized that the sound had come from one of the horses in the stalls and feeling a little foolish re-holstered his guns. Stepping closer to the stall in which the whinny had come from, Jimmy took in the familiar dark muzzle of lightning. A slow grin spread across his face as he reached out a hand a to pat the stallion's neck.

"Hi fellow. You sure are a sight for sore eyes. You and Lou sure have given me and the other boys quite a run-around. Looks like that about to come to an end now that I've found you."

He patted Lightning for another moment or two, before continuing down the aisle in search of empty stalls. As he was passing by Lightning's stall on the return trip, he heard a slight scuffling noise coming from within it. He paused to listen more closely, but when he heard nothing else, moved on to help Ike lead the horses to their stalls. This only took them a couple of minutes and soon both riders were heading back to the hotel.

They had only gone about a block, before something clicked inside of Jimmy's head and he stopped walking. Ike stopped too and looked at him with a puzzled expression upon his face.

*What's wrong?* He signed.

Jimmy shook his head. "I don't know. Just something keeps telling me not to let the livery out of my sight."

*What? Why?* Ike asked.

"If I knew the answer to that, I'd tell you." Jimmy replied.

He made a snap decision. "You go on to the hotel and meet up with Kid and Buck. I am going to stick around here for a while longer. I'll be along directly."

Ike studied Jimmy for a moment, trying to decide whether Jimmy had found something out while they were in the livery and just was not telling him. He had just come to the conclusion that Jimmy was not hiding anything from him, when Jimmy's voice broke through his quiet observation.

"Why are you staring at me like that for, Ike?" Jimmy questioned irritably.

*No reason.* Ike signed quickly.

"Well cut it out, you're making me nervous." Jimmy told him.

*What should I tell Kid and Buck about why you aren't with me?* Ike asked.

"Tell them whatever you want to." Jimmy said impatiently. "Tell them I had a hunch that I wanted to play out and that I said I join you later."

*If you are not at the hotel in a half hour's time, I am going to assume you ran into trouble, and come running.*Ike told him.

"I'm going to need all the help I can get if I find Lou. You know how ornery she can be when anyone tries to make her do something." Jimmy replied wryly.

A wide grin split Ike's face at Jimmy's words. It faded as quickly as it had appeared as Ike considered what his friend had said. Lou was more stubborn and prideful than any other woman he had ever met, including his ma, and was determined to make her way in life by her own terms. When those terms or her abilities were questioned, she was downright dangerous to be around. He couldn't recall how many times he had heard or seen Lou blow up at Kid for his being too protective of her, leveled an icy stare at Cody for some thoughtless remark he had made or confronting Teaspoon over him not giving her a particular run because he thought it was too dangerous for her.

*Thirty minutes, no more.* Ike said, before starting in the direction of town.

Jimmy watched as Ike faded from sight, and then headed back to the livery. Once he reached it, Jimmy stepped into the narrow walkway between the livery and the building next to it and crouched down, allowing the shadows to hide him from view and began his wait. He was going to feel foolish if his hunch fizzled out, but it would not be the first time. He was willing to risk just about anything, if it meant finding Lou and convincing her to come back to Rock Creek.

CHAPTER 61

Lou's breath had caught in her throat, her blood had frozen in her veins and her heart had nearly plummeted into her stomach when she had heard Jimmy's voice outside the stall. She had just known that if she made the slightest sound or took a breath that Jimmy would hear it and open the stall door. Relief had flooded through her when she heard Jimmy's footsteps continue down the row of stalls. Her relief did not last long though, when her foot got a sudden cramp and she moved it slightly to try to work it out. Just as she heard Jimmy moving back up the row toward the front, the toe of her boot scraped against the stall door.

She heard Jimmy's footsteps pause outside the stall for a moment, as if he was listening, and then continued out of the livery. Several moments of agonizing silence followed as Lou waited for Jimmy and whoever else was with him, lead their horses down the row of stalls and settle them into stalls for the night before leaving the livery. As soon as she was alone again in the livery, Lou unlocked the stall door and crept out. Using the row of stalls as a guide, she made her way to the front of the livery and located her saddle. Trying to be quiet and carry the saddle back to Lightning's stall was not an easy task, but Lou managed. Within just a few minutes, she was leading a saddled Lightning out of the livery.

Jimmy had just about decided to give up his surveillance of the livery and head back to the hotel, when he heard the livery doors open. Puzzled as to who could have slipped past him, Jimmy edged closer to the end of the wall and poked his head around the corner. He was just in time to see a familiar petite form in men's clothing emerge from within the livery leading a black stallion. He waited until Lou had fastened the livery doors closed and was preparing to mount Lightning before he stepped out into the shadows toward her.

Lou started violently as a tall form stepped out of the shadows and directly into her path. Her hand immediately went for her gun, but Jimmy's was already out and in his hands before hers cleared its holster completely. Lou's hand froze on the butt of her gun as her eyes flew first to the twin barrels of the pearl handled Colts and then up into the face of the person who held them.

Jimmy could not help grinning down at Lou as she raised her head up to look him in the face. Her brown eyes widened slightly as she recognized him, then narrowed. He watched silently as Lou's shoulders straightened, her chin lifted, and a hard expression crossed over her beautiful face. He had seen an expression many times before as they had faced outlaws or a band of renegade Indians, but had never thought the day would come when she would direct the look at him.

Both riders remained motionless and silent for several moments as they studied each other. Jimmy stared into Lou's angry, defiant face and could not help feeling relieved at having found her so soon and apparently unharmed. Still, there was something else hidden in the depths of her beautiful eyes besides anger, that puzzled him. It was a blend of three emotions he didn't see very often in Lou's eyes: fear, desperation, and the last a fierce protectiveness? Seeing them made him even more determined to find out the real reason Lou had left Rock Creek.

Lou met Jimmy's gray eyes with a deceptive calm that belied her inner turmoil. Anger, sadness, fear, and desperation swirled around within her at such breakneck speed that it made her head swim dizzily. Her stomach convulsed suddenly as the child she carried reacted to the turbulent emotions she was feeling. Pain shot through her stomach, followed immediately by a wave of nausea that made Lou swallow quickly and sweat break out across her forehead. As she fought against the tide of dizziness and nausea, Lou tried to think of something she could say or do to get rid of Jimmy before she started getting sick.

CHAPTER 62

It was not until Jimmy had finished his perusal of Lou that he realized that he still had his guns out. He hesitated in re-holstering them, none too sure it was a good idea to do so while Lou still had her hand on hers. He did so anyways trusting in the close friendship with Lou, that she would not shoot him no matter how angry she might be at him. Once his guns were put away, Jimmy lowered his gaze from Lou's face to the gun in her hand, then back up. He raised an eyebrow questioningly at her and waited to see what she would do.

Taking in the questioning look Jimmy was giving her, Lou reluctantly released her hold on her gun and allowed it to slide back into its holster. Once her gun was, re-holstered Lou folded her arms across her chest and regarded Jimmy with a cold stare. Another couple of minutes passed in silence as each waited for the other to say something. Finally Lou let out a sigh and asked,

"What are you doing here Jimmy?"

"What do you think I'm doing here Lou?"Jimmy replied. "I'm looking for you."

"Well who asked you to Jimmy? I sure and the hell did not! If I'd wanted you to know where I was going, I'd have drawn you a map and left directions!" Lou declared.

"You sneak out of Rock Creek in the middle of the night, without so much as a word to anyone and you expect us not to be worried? To nor come after you? To make sure you're okay?" Jimmy asked incredulously.

"Despite what you and the others seem to think Hickok, I don't need any looking after! I can take care of myself! And I didn't just leave, I left a note!" Lou told him angrily.

"A note? You think leaving a lousy note is a good enough goodbye. We are not a bunch of strangers you just met Lou! We are your friends, your family! We deserve a better goodbye than that!" Jimmy exclaimed, his own temper beginning to flare.

"Well it's the only goodbye you're going to get from me Hickok! Now if we're finished, I'll be on my way." Lou said, preparing to mount Lightning.

Jimmy's hand shot out and grasped hold of Lou by the arm and tugged her none too gently away from Lightning. "You aren't going anywhere until you tell me why you left Rock Creek!"

CHAPTER 63

Lou looked down at Jimmy's hand on her arm and felt an almost uncontrollable rage bubble up inside of her. How dare Jimmy think he could force her to stay anywhere that she did not want to! She was so tired of Jimmy and Kid thinking that they could tell her what to do and how to feel. Her right hand itched to draw her gun and shoot him where he stood for all the misery that he had helped to inflict upon her. She resisted the urge to shoot Jimmy, knowing that Teaspoon and local sheriff wouldn't approve of her killing Jimmy just because he made her mad. So instead of shooting him as she wanted to, Lou settled on the next best thing. She drew back a clenched fist and punched Jimmy in the jaw.

The blow caught Jimmy by surprise and sent him sprawling backward into Lightning. The startled stallion reared up and away from Jimmy, propelling Hickok onto his backside on the road. A heady rush of satisfaction swept over Lou as she stood over Jimmy, not in the least bit intimidated by the darkening expression on his face.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Jimmy demanded angrily as he climbed to his feet He wiped blood away from the corner of his mouth.

"Because I felt like it and you so deserved it! I don't know who the hell you think you are Hickok to tell me what to do! You can't even manage your own life and yet you dare to interfere in mine? What right do you have to tell me what to do or where to go? You are not my boss, my daddy, or my husband! Hell, I am not so sure you're even my friend!" Lou yelled.

"What are you talking about Lou? Of course, I am your friend! If I wasn't, do you think I would come looking for you? Or spent all night and all day in a saddle looking for you?" Jimmy told her.

"You didn't come looking for me because you care about me! You came looking for me because you were afraid that Kid might find me first and convince me to go back to Rock Creek and try our relationship. You could not stomach that could you? You could not take the chance on getting one more lick over on Kid by finding me and being the one to convince me to go back! That's why you really came, isn't it Jimmy? Isn't it?" Lou continued.

"So what if it is?" Jimmy said. " Dang it Lou! I am not going to apologize for caring enough about you to come looking for you! And I am not going to apologize to you for defending you to Kid! I wouldn't hold myself much of a man or a friend to you, if I just stood by and let him hurt you time and again and done nothing about it!"

"If you were really interested in helping me Jimmy, you would have kept your big mouth shut! You would have just listened to me when I was upset and needing to talk and left me to handle things myself! But no, you just had to put your two cents in! You just had to keep needling and berating Kid until you succeeded in driving a bigger wedge between me and him and the two of you as well!"

"I really don't care what Kid thinks or how mad he is at me! He is the one who should have left Rock Creek instead of you! You are the best thing that ever happened to him and he is a fool for not realizing it! None of those other girls he ran around with can hold a candle to you! Lou you deserve to have a man who will treat you as if you deserve a man like-"Jimmy broke off suddenly as he realized how close he had come to openly expressing his feelings for her. He had already made a fool out of himself by kissing her and he was not about to do it again, less he knew for certain that the outcome would be in his favor.

"Like who Jimmy? Like you? Are you the 'man' who is going to treat me right? That is a laugh! You cannot even bring yourself to get close to a woman long enough to develop any feelings for her, let alone settle down with one! You hold everyone at arm's length for fear of anyone finding out that underneath that tough exterior of yours hides a scared little boy! I might have had my heart stomped on a time or two but at least I am not afraid to love or be loved! Until you can say or do the same Jimmy, don't you dare stand there and offer me advice!" Lou spat at him.

Jimmy struggled to hold his temper in check at Lou's personal attack on him, knowing that if he blew up it would further alienate her from him. Lou was the only member of the Pony Express family he trusted his 'innermost' feelings with and to stand here and have her belittle them was almost more than he could take! At the same time, he longed to say or do something to break through the walls she had built between them. He reached out quickly and tugged her toward him, wrapping her firmly in his arms and pressing his lips against hers.

The kiss took Lou totally by surprise and she found her resolve weakening as she leaned into the kiss. It had been far too long since she had felt a man's arms around her or had someone's lips on hers. Lou had barely thought of how nice it was to be so close to Jimmy, when her sense returned and she shoved him angrily away.

"If you think kissing me is all you've got to do to get me to go back to Rock Creek with you, you've got another thing coming Hickok! It just proves that I was right about your true intentions! You came looking for me because you accepted a challenge from Kid you don't intend to lose, not because you are really worried about me!" She shouted.

"I kissed you because I wanted to Lou! I have wanted to kiss you again ever since the other day! You want me to express my feelings then I will! I love you! Have for a long time now, but could not tell you because you were with Kid! "Jimmy confessed.

"You don't really expect me to believe that do you? The great Jimmy Hickok professing his love on a whim? What kind of fool do you take me for? You'll say or do anything just to get me to go back to Rock Creek!" Lou questioned.

Jimmy let out a groan of frustration and ran his hands through his hair. Lou was the most exasperating woman he had ever known. How she could go from relaxing almost completely into his kiss one moment, and then push him away in anger the next, confused the hell out of him.

"Believe whatever you want Lou. It is not going to change my feelings for you or the fact that you still owe me an explanation. If you want to argue this out all night we'll do it, because I'm not leaving here until you tell me why you left Rock Creek!" he stated finally.

"Neither are we." A familiar voice called out from behind them.

Jimmy and Lou turned around in surprise to see Kid rapidly approaching them with buck and Ike on his heels. Jimmy felt relief tinged with anger flood through him at the appearance of his fellow riders. Kid was much better at reasoning with people than he was and if anyone needed reasoning with it was Lou. At this point it did not matter to him who it was that broke through the angry wall Lou had placed around her heart, just as long it was done. He was willing to put his own feelings for Lou aside for now, if it would mean that Lou would return to Rock Creek with them.

CHAPTER 64

It had taken Ike a little longer to reach the hotel by foot, than it would have by horse. Although he was just as concerned about Lou as the others were, Ike could not help enjoying his walk through the mostly deserted streets. He entered the simply decorated lobby of the hotel and let his nose direct him toward the dining room. Once there he quickly scanned the faces of the patrons at the tables until he spotted Buck and Kid seated at a table in the corner. No sooner had he crossed the room and taken a seat beside Buck, than a waitress appeared with a plate heaped with food. Without a word to him, she set the plate and a glass of frothy milk down on the table in front of him and then disappeared.

Catching sight of the puzzled expression on Ike's face, Buck explained. "Kitchen's going to be closing soon so we asked them to keep two plates of food warm for you and Jimmy."

Ike nodded in understanding and dug into the plate of meatloaf, corn on the cob, turnip greens and buttermilk biscuits. The threesome ate in silence for a few moments before Kid took notice that Jimmy had not joined them as well. He swallowed down the last of his milk and wiped his mouth with the corner of his napkin.

"Where's Jimmy?" He asked

*Had a hunch he wanted to check out.* Ike signed.

"A hunch about what?" Kid asked suspiciously.

*That Lou was going to try to leave town tonight.* Ike answered.

"Why'd he think that? You guys see Lou somewhere?" Kid quizzed.

*No!* Ike signed quickly. * I don't know why he thinks that! Told me to come looking for him in thirty minutes if he did not show up.*

"Well I'm not waiting that long to find out." Kid exclaimed.

He stood quickly, withdrew a few coins from his pocket and tossed them onto the table before stalking away. Buck and Ike exchanged quick glances before Buck rose and followed Kid. Ike reluctantly stood as well, downed the last of his milk, grab his last biscuit and left the dining room as well.

As Kid neared where Lou and Jimmy stood outside what he assumed was the livery, he fought to keep control of his temper. The last thing he wanted to do was alienate Lou any further than she already was. By the angry, defiant glare, Lou shot his way and the agitated one Jimmy gave him, it did not look like things were going as well as Jimmy might have liked. He could not help gloating a little that Jimmy had not been able to get through to Lou. It meant that he had a good chance of convincing Lou to go back to Rock Creek, though he knew it was not foolish enough to think it was going to be easy. Lou was way too stubborn and set in her ways to make things easy on any of them.

He ignored Lou's glare as he stepped closer to her and gave her petite frame a quick perusal. Though dusty, her clothes showed no signs of any tears or holes that would indicate an unnoticeable injury. Her face, though partially shrouded in shadows, revealed more to him than her clothing had. Dark rings underlined her eyes rims, an unhealthy pallor to her skin and perspiration dotted her forehead.

Kid fought to keep his alarm from showing on his face or in his voice as he said, "Hello Lou."

"Kid." Lou's voice was flat, cold.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Like you care." Lou answered.

"I know I haven't shown it much lately Lou, but I do care. We all do." Kid told her.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine to me Lou. Fact is you look like you ate something that didn't agree with your stomach and it's trying to crawl its way back up." Kid exclaimed.

Kid heard a groan beside him and turned to see both Buck and Ike shaking their heads sorrowfully at him. Jimmy was looking at him with a 'great going' expression on his face. Kid turned back to Lou and saw that there was a darkening expression on her face and a dangerous glint in her eyes. Kid steeled himself for the explosion he saw brewing there, but none came. Instead, Lou let out a wry laugh. Kid exchanged puzzled glances with the other boys.

"Gee Kid; you sure know how to sweet talk a gal. Been practicing much?" Lou said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Anger flooded through Kid at Lou's words. He fought back the retort that leaped onto his tongue, knowing that Lou was purposely baiting him. He could take anything as long as meant Lou going back to Rock Creek with them. "Look Lou I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I just meant that you do not look so good. Are you sick? Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"Why should I tell you anything? What business is it of yours why I left? These past couple of months you have acted as if you did not want anything to do with me, so what has changed. Huh? Huh?" Lou exclaimed quickly closing the short distance between them. She emphasized her last two questions by jabbing her index finger hard, twice, into Kid's chest.

"Because I'm worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were alright." Kid said.

"Well you needn't have bothered! I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself despite what you might think! I was doing it along before I met you all and I can do it now! So all of you can just go back and report to Teaspoon and leave me the hell alone!" Lou told him angrily.

Kid opened his mouth to respond, but Buck beat him to it. "Teaspoon didn't send us looking for you Lou, we volunteered. Did you really think that we would just accept that you had left and forget all about you? Lou you should know better than that! We're family and families look out for one another."

"Well I don't need no looking after Buck! In fact I do not need you, period! I don't need any of you! All any of you have done since I've known you is cause me a lot of heartache and nothing else!" Lou shouted.

"That's a load of bull and you know it Lou! You might want to believe that you don't need us, but it's not the truth! You are a part of us, we are a part of you, and nothing is going to change that! Especially not sneaking out of Rock Creek and running away like a coward! I thought you had more guts than to let either Kid or Jimmy chase you away!" Buck shouted back at her.

Angry tears sprang into Lou's eyes art Buck's calling her a coward. She had expected to get involved in intense arguments with both Kid and Jimmy if they caught up to her, but not with Buck Out of all of the boys, it seemed that Buck understood how difficult her life was. How difficult it was to pretend to be one person because that was what people expected, instead of the person she really was. Buck faced a similar situation except in his case people expected him to act white and ignore his Kiowa heritage.

"Well I'd much rather be a coward Buck than a smelly Indian." Lou spat out.

Surprise and hurt flooded Buck's handsome features for a brief moment before they faded away. Lou bit down hard on her lip to keep from apologizing to him for what she had said. Maybe if she made them angry, enough they would give up and leave sooner. It did not matter much to her either way just as long as they left her alone. Buck turned and stalked away from the group, Ike following close behind him after shooting a dirty look at Lou.

"What the hell's gotten into you Lou? How could you say something like that to him?" Jimmy demanded.

"What's this? Jimmy Hickok sticking up for someone else? Concerned about someone else's feelings? What's wrong with you Hickok? Did you fall off your horse on the ride to Ft. Kearney and bump your head?"

Jimmy's face flushed with anger as he stepped toward Lou. Lou stood her ground knowing that even in his anger that Jimmy would not physically hurt her. Kid must have thought otherwise because he deftly stepped in front of her bringing him nearly chin to chin with Jimmy. The two riders eyed each other warily for several seconds before Jimmy backed off. He told himself he was not backing down, but letting Kid take a turn at trying to knock some sense into Lou.

CHAPTER 65

"Lou you can be as angry at Jimmy and me as you want to, but don't take it out on Buck or Ike! They don't deserve it!" Kid exclaimed angrily.

"If they didn't want me yelling at them then they should have stayed in Rock Creek and out of my business!" Lou spat. "The same goes for you and Jimmy too! The sooner you get it through that thick skull of yours, that I don't have to explain anything to you Kid, the better off we're all going to be!"

"I'm thick headed? You're the one who's too mule stubborn to accept help when it's being offered!" Kid said incredulously.

"If I was in need of someone's help, I would have asked for it! But I don't need anybody's help and if I did, I sure and the hell wouldn't ask you!" Lou said through gritted teeth. "I don't need or want anything from you Kid! Not now, not ever! I'd rather die first than to ever be beholden to you for anything again!"

Kid was both stunned and hurt by Lou's hatefully spoken words. He knew things were bad between him and Lou…and most of it was his fault…but he hadn't thought they were so bad as they couldn't work them out…that their love for each other would help them ease the pain of their separation and angry words had caused and heal their hearts enough to bring them back together again. Now for the first time he was realizing that things might never be right between them again.

"You don't mean that Lou. You are just saying it to pay me back for all the hurtful things I have done to you over the past couple of months. I admit that I have been a jerk. That you have every right to be this angry at me…but nothing you say is going to change the fact that I do care about you, that I still love you whether you believe it or not." He told her.

"You're right Kid, I don't believe it! I would be a fool to believe anything you ever say again! We are through! I do not want to have anything to do with you! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got things to do and someplace better to be than staying here all night arguing with you!" Lou said, brushing Kid aside and walking over to Lightning who stood a few feet away.

Jimmy moved to block her path. "Running away isn't going to solve anything Lou. You taught me that. You said that as long as a man or a woman has friends'…family, then they does not ever have to do be alone again. That together they could solve any problems, mend each other's wounded feelings, broken hearts and strengthen their bonds. Do you really believe that or was it just something to say?"

New tears sprang into Lou's eyes at Jimmy's words. She had not thought her dry and aching eyes had enough moisture left to summon of any more tears, but apparently, she was wrong. They blurred her vision so that where once she was only seeing one Jimmy, she was seeing two now. Sobs of frustration and anger and hurt and pain rose up inside of her and spilled out of her mouth as she stared at the two Jimmy's. "I once believed in them Jimmy, but I don't anymore! I thought that once I found all of you, that I would never have to worry again about anyone hurting me! Boy was I wrong! Sometimes members that hurt you more than anyone else could your family! I should have remembered that from what my pa did to me, and my ma, Jeremiah, and Theresa, but I didn't!"

Jimmy and Kid exchanged worried looks. Never had they seen Lou so upset before. They were both trying to think up something to say to her that was comforting, yet not threatening. Clearly, there was something more going on with Lou than what she was letting on and if they were careful, they might be able to get her to reveal whatever it was.

"We are your family Lou. Jimmy and I would do anything for you. You got to know that? Tell us what's wrong?" Kid pleaded his tone gentle.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" Lou's voice was strained to the point of being hysterical as she replied. "What's wrong? You have the bloody nerve to stand there and ask me what is wrong after what you've done? What you've both done? It would take me from now to next year to list everything you've done and I don't have that much time to waste! So I'll tell you the first one that comes to mind! How about making a bet for my affections in the barn, as if I was nothing but some whore you both wanted to bed! Does that ring a bell at all?"

The color faded from both men's faces at Lou's words. Neither of them had even stopped to consider the thought that Lou might have found out about the stupid bet they had made in the barn the other day. The only other person who had been in the barn that they knew of was Rachel, but something told them that Rachel would not have said anything to Lou. She had not wanted Lou to be hurt anymore than what she already was.

Without another word, Lou pushed Jimmy out of the way and went over to Lightning. She placed her boot into the stirrup and prepared to swing herself up into the saddle, but a sharp pain swept through her stomach, making her draws her breath in sharply and leans against Lightning's side.

"Lou, don't go like this-" Kid started.

While Jimmy began, "Lou I'm so-"

"Save it! I do not want to hear any lame apologies from either of you! Just leave me alone!" Lou shouted against Lightning's side. She moved as if to mount Lightning, but before she could she felt a hand upon her shoulder drawing her away from the stirrups and against a warm chest.

"Lou, you can't go like this! You have to give me a chance to apologize, to tell you how wrong I was to treat you so poorly!" Kid told her pleadingly.

Lou felt her heart constrict at being caught up and held in Kid's strong arms. How her body had ached at night to feel his arms around her, to feel his light caresses and feel his body against hers. How she had longed to breathe in that manly scent that was all Kid and know that she was safe and loved. With more resolve than she thought possible, Lou resisted the urge to melt against Kid and forgive him everything he done wrong, instead pushing herself roughly out of his arms and turning to face away from him. Her mind swam from her violent movement and she felt herself stumble slightly before she steadied herself. Desperation filled her as she realized that they were never going to let her leave alone unless she forced them to do so. Her hand was on her gun before she had time to think about what she was doing. She spun around to face Kid and Jimmy, aiming her gun at Kid's chest as she did.

"I'm done talking boys! I am leaving here, even if I have to shoot you to do it!"

CHAPTER 66

Kid froze in shock as he stared down the barrel of Lou's Colt leveled at his chest. He felt his breath leave him in a rush as his heart began to pound wildly in his chest. Everything took on a surreal quality to it as he lifted his eyes ever so slowly from the end of the barrel to look into Lou's. There was a coldness tinged with desperation that he had never seen before in her eyes, and never in his wildest imaginings would have seen directed at him. Even though the look told him Lou meant business, Kid somehow didn't believe that Lou would shoot him no matter how mad she was at him.

Jimmy, on the other hand, did not have any doubts that Lou would carry through with her threats of shooting Kid and him if they did not do as she said. In her right mind, he knew, Lou would never have drawn a gun on Kid, no matter how angry she was at him. She knew very well the consequences of drawing a gun on a person you never intended to shoot in the first place. It left yourself open for a lot of hurt for all concerned, if you managed to not be shot in the process. But in her right mind was the key phrase here. Lou had been acting very peculiar, and looked even worse, ever since he had first found her outside of the stables. It cemented his idea that Lou was hiding something else from them…and he feared that he knew what the answer was. Lou was seriously ill, maybe even dying, and running away from Rock Creek was her idea of protecting them all from her imminent death.

Kid cleared his throat and said, "Put down the gun Lou. If you really want to leave that badly, Jimmy and I won't try to stop you."

"You really don't think I'm going to believe that, do you Kid? Back up and give me some room to move." Lou ordered.

"Okay." Kid said and backed up a couple of feet.

Jimmy took the opportunity to move closer to Lou, but stopped abruptly as Lou turned at an angle to train the gun on both him and Kid at the same time. "Don't try anything stupid Jimmy. Don't make me shoot you."

"No one's going to make you shoot anyone Lou. You are going to do that all on your own as long as you keep that gun out. Why don't you put it away?" Jimmy said.

It was at that exact moment, that Buck and Ike reappeared from the shadows of the nearby buildings. Lou hastily moved to cover them as well as they came to a stop next to Kid, their eyes widening as they took in the gun in Lou's hand. It was just the opening that Jimmy needed to move in and rush Lou from the side. One arm wrapped around her waist, while the other one reached for the gun that she held in her hand. Lou fought to free herself from Jimmy's gripped and keep a hold on her gun. The gun went off in the midst of their wrestling with it, forcing Kid, Buck and Ike to hit the ground to prevent from being hit by stray bullets. In the end, Jimmy's strength won out over Lou's desperation and he was able to pry the gun from her fingertips. He shoved the gun into his belt and keeping a firm grip of the still struggling Lou; he pulled out his bandanna and quickly tied her hands together.

"You lowdown, no good varmint! You two-bit gunfighter! If this is the way you treat women, no wonder none of them stay around!" Lou spat fierily, drawing back a leg and kicking Jimmy in the shin.

"Ow! Dang it Lou, cut that out!" Jimmy exclaimed, reaching down to rub a hand over the tender area.

"Aw, does him have a boo-boo?" Lou said tauntingly. "Good! You can expect to get more bruises than that, if you don't untie me right now Hickok!"

"Jimmy what the hell do you think you're doing?" Kid exclaimed angrily. "You can't just truss her up like a turkey, no matter how mad she makes you!"

"Who says I can't? Would you like me to untie her and give her back her gun so she can shoot us all with it?" Jimmy asked.

Kid stopped to think about what Jimmy had said. There was no way he wanted Lou to have her gun back again. At least, not until after she had settled down some and could think straight again. Still it didn't set right with him to keep Lou tied up. They had come after her to help her, not hurt her anymore than she was already hurting.

"Jimmy will let you go Lou, if you promise to not try another stunt like you just did." Kid told Lou.

"The hell I will!" Jimmy exclaimed. "I say we keep her like this and hightail it back to Rock Creek! Let Teaspoon and Rachel try and talk some sense into her."

"Why don't we tie you up and see how you like it?" Buck declared. "Lou's not some outlaw you're taking in for the bounty money, Jimmy. She's our friend, part of our family!"

"I don't hear you making any better suggestions Buck! If I untie her, she is just going to pull some crazy stunt again to get away and hurt either herself or one of us! She is sick and we owe it to her to help her get better, whether she likes it or not! Even if it means forcefully taking her back to Rock Creek!" Jimmy shouted.

"Well, I'm not going to have any part of forcing her to go anywhere!" Buck said, starting toward the stables to saddle his horse.

*Neither am I!* Ike signed before turning to follow after Buck.

Kid stared at Lou for several minutes. Though she still struggled against Jimmy's hold on her, she had not said anything for several minutes. It was almost as if the fight had gone out of her, but if there was one thing he knew about Lou, she was probably cooking up some way to free herself later on. They would have to keep a close watch on her on the way back to Rock Creek. For now, he would leave the guarding of her up to Jimmy.

"I'll go get the horses." He said quietly, abruptly turning and strolling toward the stables before Jimmy or Lou could say anything else.

CHAPTER 67

Lou's eyes smoldered with barely controlled anger as they followed Kid's steps over to Trevayne's livery and watched him disappear inside. She hoped that Kid's back felt scorched from the heat of her stare, because it would be the least of the pain she would inflict on him once her hands were free! She still could not believe that he had sides with Jimmy against her! She had not thought a day would come when she would not have his full support backing her…and to think it had been with Jimmy of all people burned a steady flame of disbelief, anger and hurt within her! The two riders had never agreed on anything before, so why they had to start now was beyond her! Probably just to make her life much more complicated than it already was!

"Grrrrr!!!! " Lou grit her teeth tightly together to keep from screaming out all her frustration and anger over her current predicament. Why had she thought it was safe enough for her to stop in Ft. Kearney for the night instead of continuing on? She'd known with every fiber of her being that they would come looking for her as soon as they found her note. It was something that she had been secretly hoping and dreading they would do all at the same time…Hoping because it would prove to her that despite everything that had happened between her and Kid that he still loved her…And that the others cared as much about her as she cared about them…And dreading it all the same because even though it mattered to her that they cared, she didn't think that there was anything left for her to say to Kid. Anything left between them and she had wanted to avoid any heated confrontations like those that she had shared with the boys already. She had not wanted to hurt any of them like she was already hurting, and besides, she had already decided not to tell Kid about the baby she carried within her.

"Damn Buck and his Kiowa tracking instincts!" She cursed inwardly. "Why couldn't he have been out on a run or something?" She felt a shortly twinge of guilt over what she had said to him earlier…but it was pushed aside as she continued to fume over her predicament. She tried her best to affix a calm persona under Jimmy's eagle-eyed stare. She wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much his and Kid's appearance had wreaked havoc with the plans she had made. She had already spouted off too much by revealed to them how much overhearing them make their little bet for her affections had hurt her. She had come too close to blurting out to Kid that she was pregnant! She was so glad that she had managed to catch herself in time…because telling Kid about the baby would have led to even more complications between them…and there were already too many to count as it was. No, her decision to raise their baby by herself was the best for everyone concerned…know matter how difficult it was going to be for her.

Lou couldn't imagine it being much more difficult than helping to raise Jeremiah and Theresa. She had helped her mama give birth to Theresa since they hadn't been able to afford to have a doctor attend her and her pa had been out on one of his binges. Her Mama had been pretty poorly throughout her pregnancy with Theresa…and even though she had regained some of her strength back after she had given birth, she had never truly been restored to the healthy woman that Lou had once remembered…Many of the chores of taking care of her younger siblings and the household had fallen on her young shoulders and she had managed them the best that she could within their dire circumstances. She had not ever understood why having a baby could make a woman feel so poorly, but now she supposed she had firsthand knowledge. Her Mama must have been plagued something awful with the dreadful 'morning sickness' that she, herself, was now experiencing.

"Morning sickness, what a laugh!" Lou thought with a grimace. "It should be called 'all day ' sickness!" As if the baby could understand its mama's train of thought, Lou felt her stomach give a wild lurch. Hastily Lou choked back the bile that rose within her throat, couching a little and unconsciously clutching her tied hands against her abdomen in hopes that the simple contact would be soothing enough to calm her restless child.

"Please, little one now's not the time for you to be making your mama any sicker! She's got to keep her wits about her if she's any hope of escaping from your pa and uncles." Lou pleaded anxiously.

During this time, Jimmy's eyes had not strayed from Lou's face since she had first turned to watch Kid walk away. He had almost chuckled at the smoldering look that she had leveled on Kid's retreating back, but had refrained. He really did not want to make Lou even more upset with him than she already was. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Lou did not look at all well and he was not about to make her feel any worse. From his angled position, he could see the perspiration still dotting her forehead…saw the flush of anger on her high cheekbones and then witnessed and odd expression come over her face and saw her tied hands go impulsively to her abdomen.

"Lou, you okay?" he asked her with concern.

Lou turned to stare at him coolly. "Just fine Jimmy. Never better. You needn't concern yourself with asking polite questions about my health when it's obviously you really don't care about how I'm feeling."

Jimmy scowled at her. "Don't tell me how I feel or don't feel Lou."

"Ooh, look who's getting all defensive now? You don't like it much when someone makes light of your feelings, do you Jimmy? Now you know how I feel." Lou taunted.

"I've never made light of your feelings and you know it!" Jimmy snapped, biting down on his lip to keep from saying anything else. Nothing he said right now was going to do any good. Lou was in too foul of a mood for him or Kid to talk any sense into. He fell silent once again under her steady glare and refused to let her goad him into an argument.

The reappearance of Kid, Buck and Ike leading their horses out of the livery caught Lou's attention behind Jimmy and she fell silent once again. Jimmy's gaze rested on her for a brief moment before turning in time to see Buck and Ike mount their horses, raises their hands in a brief wave and then kicked their horses into motion. Kid came to a standstill before Jimmy and Lou, his eyes darting from the steely gaze that she gave him to meet Jimmy's irritated one. He handed Sundancer's reins to Jimmy, who quickly mounted, then leaned over and drew up Lightning's reins into his gloved hand as well.

Panic seized hold of Lou. They were really going to do this! They were going to take her back to Rock Creek against her will! "You can't do this! You cannot make me go with you just because you want to Kid! It's called kidnapping and it's against the law!" Lou screamed, backing away from him and the horses.

"You aren't giving us any other choice Lou! You will not talk to us! You won't willingly let us help you, so we're going to do it forcefully!" Kid exclaimed stepping closer to her, reaching out to grab onto her arm as Lou continued backing up.

"I don't have to talk to you or accept your help if I don't want to Kid!" Lou exclaimed, her voice becoming increasingly louder as she continued backing away from him.

Jimmy nudged Sundancer forward, effectively cutting off Lou's intended flight path. "Don't make this any harder on us or you than it has to be Lou!" he pleaded with her.

"If you think I'm going to just willingly allow you to take me somewhere against my will without putting up some kind of a fight, Jimmy, you don't know me well at all!"Lou spat out as she set herself into a defensive stance and raised her tied hands up in front of her to ward off Kid's attempts to grab her.

A look passed between Kid and Jimmy over Lou's head. With a slight nod, Jimmy slipped off Sundancer's back and moved around him toward Lou, while Kid continued to advance on her from the front. Sundancer shifted position as his master dismounted and gave Lou the false hope of not being as caged in as she thought she was. Keeping her eyes trained on Kid and her tied hands in repeated motion before her, she began backing up again…right into Jimmy's opened arms. Despite Lou's valiant struggle to free herself from the grasps of the two male riders, she soon found herself astride Lightning's back, holding onto the saddle horn as she, Jimmy and Kid galloped out of Ft. Kearney back towards Rock Creek.

Chapter 68

The ride back to Rock Creek was an unpleasant experience for all three riders. From the moment she had realized that Kid and Jimmy were actually serious in kidnapping her from Ft. Kearney and taking her back to Rock Creek against her will, she had begun to alternately scream expletives or veiled threats at them at the top of her lungs. In the brief periods of time that existed in between her shouting bouts, Lou chewed at the knots in the handkerchief that bound her hands together or clutched them tightly to her abdomen to try to soothe the child within as it flounced around and shot terrible pains throughout her torso.

Lou had thought that she had felt ill before, now she felt like death warmed over. Her outsides seemed determined to turn inward and spill her insides outward, child included and it terrified her to death. Although she had never carried a child before, Lou instinctively knew that something was seriously wrong with her…or with the baby itself, yet she refused to give Kid and Jimmy the satisfaction of knowing that something was wrong with her. They would only use it against her…to prove to everyone else that she was as incompetent of caring for herself as they thought she was. So, instead she suffered in silence and in retaliation for the extreme pain, that she was in…Lou was determined to put Kid and Jimmy through as much hell as she could in her present circumstances.

Dawn was just beginning to break over the horizon in a myriad of pastels when the trio of riders met up with Buck and Ike at the swimming hole outside of Rock Creek. Neither Buck or Ike looked too pleased to have their fellow riders join up with them, sure that if they all rode into the station yard together that they, too, would get blamed for Kid and Jimmy's hair brained idea. As Kid and Jimmy dismounted and led their horses down to the edge of the water to drink, Ike carried his newly filled canteen over to Lou, still astride Lightning to let her drink. With a grateful smile, Lou lifted the canteen to her chapped lips, drank her fill, and then handed the canteen back to Ike.

"If my tormentors don't mind, will you help me down Ike so that I can go relieve myself?" Lou said snidely, loud enough for Jimmy and Kid both to hear her.

Ike nodded automatically and reached up his arms to grasp Lou around the waist to lower her off the horse, but found another set of hands there before him. The dark look from Jimmy was enough to convince Ike that it would not be a good idea for him to say anything and reluctantly Ike moved away. Lou struggled against the hold Jimmy had on her waist, pushing her clasped hands against his chest with enough force to break his hold on her and she stumbled away from him.

"Are you planning on coming along and watching me or are you going to give me some privacy?" Lou spat furiously in his face.

"You act as if we're getting some pleasure out of doing this Lou, when we aren't! Why can't you just allow us to help you without you raising such a fuss about it? You act as if we are some vile men who are bent on causing you as much harm and pain as we can on you, when all we're trying to do is help you!" Jimmy exclaimed.

"Last I checked people who were interested in helping out their friends, didn't track them down like some outlaw, bound their hands together, and force them to go somewhere they didn't want to go." Lou retorted, before stalking towards a blackberry patch a short distance away.

Once she was behind the relative shelter of the blackberry patch, Lou unsnapped her belt buckle from its clasp and began fumbling with the buttons on her denims. She began fidgeting from one foot to the other as she became more and more aware of just how full her bladder was and was nearly frantic by the time she had succeeded in unbuttoning all of the buttons as she felt a trickle of something wet and thick slide down the inside of her inner thigh and thought for sure she was on the verge of wetting herself thoroughly. Tears sprang into her eyes at the humiliation of going back out to face her fellow riders with wet denims, even as she managed to tug her denims down and relieve her bladder at last. Relief flooded through her that at least one humiliation had been adverted as she finished her business and tugged her denims back into place on her slender hips and began refastening the buttons. It was only as she started to step out from behind the blackberry patch that Lou happened to look down and see the red stain on the ground. Fear filled her like an iron glove and squeezed the air from her lungs with such intensity that Lou felt faint and the world to spin around her. She fell to all fours on the ground and fought against the dizziness, by lowering her head and closing her eyes. When her world had stopped spinning, Lou slowly rose upright onto her feet as she heard Kid call out to her that it was time to go. Determined not to let on to what had just occurred, Lou set her shoulders and walked back out to join the others and found that Ike and Buck had already ridden off. Reluctantly she allowed Jimmy to help her back into Lightning's saddle and the trio of riders started off at a brisk pace on the last stretch of their long ride.

CHAPTER 69

Dawn broke over the near horizon, sending slivered lights of yellow, orange and red streaking in through the muslin curtains of Rachel's bedroom as she dressed herself for the day. Although she had retired early the evening before, Rachel felt as if she had not slept nary a wink, with all the worrying she was doing about Lou. Despite their initial awkwardness with each other when she had first replaced Emma as the housekeeper for their Pony Express family, she and the female had become especially close. Being surrounded by men all of the time; it had been a blessing to both of them to have another close at hand to confide in. Rachel would have thought that there was not anything that she and Lou could not discuss; that they could not share, but apparently, she had been wrong.

*Why had not Lou come to her?* Rachel thought as she moved from the bedroom, through the living room and into the kitchen. She moved up to the stove and checked on the large pot of porridge she had put on to cook, before she had gotten dressed. She picked up a wooden spoon and stirred the bubbling mixture absently, her thoughts still focused on Lou. Rachel sighed. "I'm sorry, Louise," she muttered aloud to the empty room. "Lord, please allow the boys to find Louise and convince her to come home to her family. Amen."

The short prayer did not ease her worrying about Lou or the boys' altogether, but it did lessen a little and for that, she was grateful. While the porridge continued to cook, Rachel moved about the kitchen gathering other items for breakfast into a wicker basket. When the porridge was finished cooking, Rachel moved the pot to the center of the stove where it would stay warm, but not burn, picked up the wicker basket and moved into the living room. She paused beside the door to wrap her shawl around her shoulders, before leaving.

A cool breeze was blowing as she started across the way station yard toward the bunkhouse a short distance away. Rachel shivered and pulled the ends of her shawl closer together as she reached the bunkhouse and walked up onto the porch. She knocked on the door and waited for Cody or Noah to bid her entrance inside. A moment later, the door opened to a smiling Noah.

"Morning Rachel," he said with a smile, reaching to take the basket out of his hands and moving to place it onto the table in the center of the room.

"Thanks Noah. Morning Cody. "Rachel said as she followed him into the bunkhouse and closed the door behind her." Would one of you boys head over to my house and get the pot of porridge I left sitting on the stove?"

"Noah will do it. I haven't got my boots on yet." Cody said as he stood before the solitary mirror and parted his golden locks.

Noah rolled his eyes behind the blond rider's back eliciting a laugh from Rachel. "You know, Cody that excuse is getting a little old to be using. Didn't I hear you using it to volunteer Lou to do something for Teaspoon about a week ago?"

No I-," Cody began to protest, turning away from the mirror to look at the black rider and caught sight of the worried expressions on Noah and Rachel's faces. The smile faded from his face, as his thoughts too, turned toward the missing young woman they all loved.

A long silence filled the bunkhouse until Rachel broke it with a loud sigh.

"They're going to find Lou, Rachel." Cody told the housekeeper reassuringly.

"I'm not so sure Cody. Lou went to an awful lot of trouble to sneak out of here without any of us catching her. I don't think she'll make it easy for anyone to find her."

"She doesn't have just anyone tracking her, she's got Buck. He is the best tracker hereabouts. If he can't find her, no one can." Cody said as he turned back to combing his hair.

"It's not so much them not finding her that concerns me, its more them not being able to convince her to come back with them." Rachel said. "Considering all the hurt Kid has caused Lou in the past couple of months, I'd be mighty surprised if she stood still long enough for him to say more than two words before she decks him."

Noah chuckled. "Now that's something I'd pay to see!"

"It would certainly be a sight to see." Rachel laughingly agreed. "Come on, boys, best be getting on with the days work. Noah, you go on and fetch the porridge from my house, while I get onto the rest of the breakfast."

"I'll be back in a couple of minutes." Noah told her as he left the bunkhouse.

Cody finished combing his hair, tucked the ends of his shirt into the waist of his buckskins, before sitting down on the edge of his bunk to slip on his boots. Rachel unloaded the contents of the wicker basket on to the tabletop, and then moved to crouch down before the stove. She opened the glass door and used a poker to stir the embers within, before reaching to grab more wood from the crate beside it, only to find it empty except for a few pieces of kindling.

"Jesse Woodson James!" She exclaimed loudly in vexation.

"What's the matter Rachel?" Cody asked.

"Jesse didn't fill the wood box again, that's what the matter is! How many times am I going to have to yell at him before he remembers?" Rachel said, rising from her crouched position and moving to assemble the cutting board, knives and a couple of bowls onto the table. "Cody, you'll have to fetch a couple of pieces from the woodpile out back so I can finish breakfast."

"Okay." Cody responded agreeably and moved toward the door, but stopped as his eyes caught sight of the item she was paring. It was an apple. His blue eyes lit up as he took in the assortment of apples and onions on the tabletop. "Fried apples and onions. Mm-mm," he remarked as he opened the door and went outside.

Buck and Ike slowed their mounts into a walk as they entered Rock Creek and started down the main street in the direction of the way station. Storekeepers were busy washing windows, turning over closed signs to open and placing bins, crates and other wares out onto the sidewalks in front of their stores as they rode by.

Jesse was sitting on the steps of the jailhouse waiting for Teaspoon to finish shaving, occupying his time by throwing his knife into the wooden plank of the sidewalk, when he caught sight of two familiar figures riding down the street toward him.

"Buck! Ike!" he called out to them, his eyes straining to see if Kid, Jimmy and Lou were riding behind them. He did not see any sign of the other riders, especially the female one and felt his heart plummet. He had been so sure that the older boys would find Lou and bring her back.

"We'll meet you at the way station." Buck called out to Jesse as he and Ike rode by.

The two riders exchanged weary looks. Neither of them was anticipating answering a slew of questions from Teaspoon, Rachel and the others about whether or not they had found Lou and had convinced her to come back with them.

*Maybe we should ride around town a couple of times?* Ike signed to Buck as they drew closer to the way station.

"What good is that going to do?" Buck retorted. "You know the first thing that Jesse did as soon as we rode by, was dash inside the jailhouse to tell Teaspoon we were back. We'll just have to stall as best we can until Kid, Jimmy and Lou arrive."

*I suppose you are right.* Ike said. *I hope they get here real quick. I am not aching to get Teaspoon riled up at us.*

"Neither am I. If anyone deserves getting a good tongue-lashing are Jimmy and Kid for what they did to Lou." Buck agreed as they rode into the way station and brought their horses to a halt outside of the stables.

They dismounted and led their tired mounts into the barn and proceeded to slowly unsaddle them, in unspoken agreement to procrastinate facing Teaspoon and the others as long as possible. With any luck Kid, Jimmy and their hostage Lou would ride into the way station at any moment and they would be saved with the task of trying to explain what had happened while they were gone themselves.

Choices

Chapter 70

"Teaspoon." Jesse called out the older man's name as he dashed back inside the jailhouse. "Hey, Teaspoon!"

"Quit your hollering Jesse! It's too blasted early in the morning for you to be carrying on at the top of your lungs like that!" Teaspoon commanded sharply as he stepped back into the front part of the jailhouse from his morning trek to the outhouse.

"Ah, Teaspoon. I'm sorry," Jesse exclaimed, lowering his voice a notch despite his protest. "…but they are back."

"Who's back?" Teaspoon asked as he moved over to the wood stove and poured a mug of coffee.

"The boys are." Jesse told him.

"Was Lou with them?" Teaspoon asked, taking a sip of the coffee he had poured and grimaced at the hot liquid's bitter taste.

"No. But then I only saw Buck and Ike riding past on their way to the way station." Jesse replied.

"That can only mean one of two things." Teaspoon said thoughtfully. "Either Jimmy and Kid are keeping to a slower pace for Lou's sake, or they've had another falling out and neither Buck nor Ike wanted to stick with them and get caught in the crossfire. I expect we best head on over to the way station and find out what's going on."

He set his unfinished mug down on top of the desk and slung an arm around Jesse's shoulders as they left the jailhouse and headed down the wooden sidewalk toward the way station.

Cody hefted the axe over one shoulder, steadied another piece of log onto the chopping block, and then swung the axe down, splitting the log into two individual pieces. He wiped a bead of sweat from his face with the back of his hand, and eyed the pile of wood on the ground beside the chopping block. It was more than enough to cook breakfast, and lunch as well. He tossed the axe aside, began gathering up the load of wood into his arms, and headed toward the bunkhouse with it.

He had just cleared the side of the bunkhouse, heading for the porch, when out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of Ike and Buck coming out of the barn He shook his head. He must have been too caught up in chopping wood not to hear the two riders' mounts as they came into the way station yard.

"When did the two of you get back? Any luck finding Lou?" He asked them as the mute rider and the Kiowa joined him near the porch steps.

"We just got back." Buck told him crisply. "And, yes, we did find Lou, but…"

His sentence was cut off by the simultaneous arrival of Teaspoon and Jesse on foot, and Kid, Jimmy, and Lou on horseback. Cody's eyes widened in surprise as he noted Lou's hands tied in front of her with a bandanna as the trio passed by where he, Buck, and Ike stood in the way station yard as they rode their mounts up to the barn.

"What in the hell?" he exclaimed as he glanced at Buck and Ike. "Are they out of their minds?"

"They must be." Buck commented. "Ike and I didn't want any part of tying Lou up like she was an outlaw, so we headed off without them."

"Smart move." Teaspoon snapped angrily as he passed by Buck, Ike, and Cody as he stalked toward the trio of riders who had just ridden up to the barn.

Buck, Ike, and Cody exchanged worried looks at the irate expression on the stationmaster's face.

"This is going to be ugly." Cody commented.

"Isn't it though?" Jesse commented gleefully, as he paused besides them. "Teaspoon's fit to be tied. Come on, before we miss the show."

"You're getting a little too much pleasure out of seeing Jimmy and Kid in trouble." Buck told Jesse.

"Why shouldn't I be?" Jesse said defensively. "It's their fault they chased Lou off in the first place with all their fighting. Now they have added to their grievances against her by bringing her back home against her will. I want to be there when Teaspoon rips into them because they deserve everything they get."

He brushed past them and continued on to the barn, where all three riders were now dismounted and they could hear the sound of Teaspoon's voice ripping into the two male riders, though they were too far away to comprehend what it was he saying to them.

"Maybe we should go get Rachel?" Cody suggested. "Surely she might be able to cool Teaspoon down before he does something too rash."

Ike snorted. (She is liable to help him shoot them rather than keep him from doing something rash once she catches sight of Lou tied up.)

A door banged shut behind them and the threesome turned to see Rachel storming off the bunkhouse steps toward them, with an equally upset Noah behind her.

"Uh…oh." Buck exclaimed as both the housekeeper and the black rider stalked passed them, without a glance in the trio's direction. "Looks like we've got no choice now but to go listen in and make sure Kid and Jimmy don't end up in shallow graves by the time Teaspoon and Rachel get done with them."

"I think you're right." Cody agreed as reluctantly he, Buck, and Ike moved to join the others outside the barn.

Chapter 71

Lou felt tears of relief fill her eyes upon first sight of the familiar buildings of the way station. She had not realized just how much she had missed these unremarkable buildings in the past couple of days, or what they actually represented in her life. Family. Stability. Home. While she would always treasure the memories that she had had in Sweetwater, Rock Creek had truly become her home.

She felt her stomach lurch at the sudden stop that Lightning made, in response to Kid reining in Katie before the barn. It had been difficult for her to keep from crying out from the continuous pain she had been experiencing ever since they had made their earlier stop. Moisture had spread between the legs of her denims, and she found herself feeling oddly faint, as if at any moment she would keel over from weakness. Despite having been forced to come back against her will, Lou found herself eager to be off Lightning's back and inside out of the heat where she could lie down. .

Kid dismounted, moved around Katie to Lightning's side, and held up his hands to help Lou off the gelding's back. Lou glared at Kid, but found herself unable to resist, feeling increasingly weaker by the moment. Her knees started to buckle when her boots touched the ground, and she felt Kid's arms slide instinctively around waist to steady her. She leaned into their comforting embrace for a moment, enjoying the feel of Kid's body so near, before anger filled her. Anger at herself for giving into her inner longings, and anger at Kid for everything, fueled her with enough energy to push him away from her.

"What in the blazes is going on here?" Teaspoon demanded his wizened face dark with barely controlled fury as he reached the trio of weary riders "Have the two of you completely lost the common sense in those hard heads of yours? What were you thinking trussing Lou up like a turkey in a

"Look, Teaspoon, you told us NOT to come back here without Lou, "Jimmy started defensively, as he turned to face the irate stationmaster. "Well, she would not come with us willingly…and she was acting so peculiar…she did not leave us any choice!'

"Save it, Jimmy! I don't want to hear any excuses from you or Kid!" Teaspoon cut in, his angry blue eyes traveling past Jimmy to pierce Kid for a moment, before moving to settle on Lou's diminutive figure.

He took in her pale, perspiring face, dark shadow rimmed doe eyes, and the unsteady way she seemed to be hanging onto Lightning's saddle. "Dear God, Lou…"he exclaimed, moving to embrace the female rider. "You look like hell."

"I feel like it too." Lou mumbled against his chest, as he hugged her.

"No matter…we'll get you feeling right as rain in a few days." Teaspoon assured her as Rachel reached them.

"You two boys should be ashamed of yourselves! How could you treat her like she was some…some outlaw…when you both proclaim to love her?" Rachel's green eyes flashed with anger, and her words dripped with venom that made both Kid and Jimmy wince.

"Rachel…" Kid started, but the housekeeper cut him off.

"Shut up…just shut up. I do not want to hear anything you have to say Kid. Nothing you can say will justify what you have done to Lou! Nothing!"

Instead, the housekeeper turned her attention onto the female rider, her eyes taking in the same sickly face that Teaspoon had earlier observed and felt her heart turn over with fear. Lou was clearly sick and despite her anger toward Kid and Jimmy for the way they had brought her home, she was glad Lou was back where she could be taken care of properly.

"Lou…. you look like you could do with some rest and good food." She told the female rider, placing an arm around her.

Lou smiled wanly at her. "Reckon I could."

"C'mon into the bunkhouse then and we'll get you fixed up right away. Teaspoon can deal with Kid and Jimmy." Rachel said, shooting the two male riders in question another venomous look as she started past them toward the bunkhouse.

"Okay…" Lou readily agreed, and released her hold on Lightning's stirrup in order to walk with Rachel to the bunkhouse. She was relieved to have the other woman's arm around her as it afforded her some support for her weakened body.

She did not know how far she had gotten, before she felt her knees buckle beneath her, and she found herself falling toward the ground despite Rachel's arm around her waist. She felt her stomach contract with another sharp pain that made her vision blur and a cry to escape from her lips.

"Lou!" Rachel cried out, kneeling down beside the female rider as the others gathered anxiously around. "Lou, wake up."

"She's out cold." Cody commented as Teaspoon crouched down beside the unconscious female rider and scooped her up into his arms. "I'll go get Doc Danes."

Teaspoon nodded and started toward the bunkhouse with Lou, as Rachel, Jesse, and the rest of the riders fell into step behind him.

Chapter 72

Teaspoon deposited Lou onto Buck's bunk, the only bunk that did not have one over top of it. He grabbed Kid by the arm, and prodded Jimmy toward the door, his blue eyes blazing with fury and warning them that they had better not protest. Once outside onto the porch, he slammed the door shut behind him and glared from one to the other.

"I want to know what happened while you all were gone, and I want to know now!"

"It was like this Teaspoon-," Jimmy started.

"We followed Lou's tracks to-," Kid began.

"One at a time!" Teaspoon roared. "Kid, you start."

"Buck picked up Lightning's tracks outside of town heading to Ft. Kearney. We arrived there, turned the horses over to the Pony Express livery, and set out in different ways to search the town for Lou. Most of us had struck out on finding her and met back at one of the restaurant's to get something to eat, except Jimmy." Kid said.

"I think I better pick up from here." Jimmy interrupted, and Kid nodded. "There was another livery there that I wanted to check out and it's a good thing I did, because I found Lou. She was getting Lightning ready to ride out of town. I told her I could not let her do that without her first telling me why she had run off as she had in the first place. She was real upset, angrier than I have ever seen her."

"Can you really blame her?" Teaspoon interjected angrily. "The way the two have been fighting all the time, trying to outdo each other on showing everyone who's the bigger jackass! Continue."

"Kid, Buck, and Ike showed up about that time and they even tried to get Lou to calm down. To tell them what was going on. But she just continued to get even more upset, and was acting so strange. She pulled a gun on us Teaspoon!" Jimmy told the irate stationmaster.

"What?" Teaspoon exclaimed.

"She did. And she said such horrible things to Buck and Ike. We deserve…I deserve anything she wants to say or call me, because I have treated her so awful…but Buck and Ike have not done anything but try to be her friend. That's when we…"Kid could not finish the sentence.

"…Decided that whether she liked it or not, she was coming back to Rock Creek with us. That is when I suggested we tie her up and bring her back. Dang it, Teaspoon, she really did not give us a choice. Lou looked so sickly and was acting so strangely, we had to something to get her the help she needed…even if it meant doing it against her will." Jimmy concluded their explanation.

"When I told you boys that you better not return without Lou, I didn't mean truss her up like livestock." Teaspoon told them, finding his anger starting to dissipate, as he realized just how much the two riders were already beating themselves up.

"She didn't give us any other choice." Kid said. "Honestly, Teaspoon…I've never seen Lou like that…something's wrong…really wrong with Lou."

Teaspoon did not bother telling the two riders his and Rachel's suspicions concerning Lou, after they had taken the packet of powder to the doctor to examine. Even if it came out that Lou was indeed pregnant, it would not explain the bizarre behavior that she had been exhibiting once Kid and the other riders had found her in Ft. Kearney.

"Doc will be here soon enough to examine Lou. He'll let us know what's going on."

Chapter 73

The threesome had just turned to go back into the bunkhouse, when Cody returned to the way station with Doc Danes. The doctor dismounted, grabbing his black bag, and moved toward the bunkhouse at a furious pace.

"Where's the patient?" Doc Danes demanded when he reached the three men.

"Inside,"Teaspoon said.

Doc Danes tried to move toward the door, but Teaspoon stopped him with a hand on his chest. "Nothing you find out goes past this way station, do you understand me?"

"We can talk about your little peculiarities when it comes to your riders later Teaspoon, I've got a patient to see." Doc Danes replied, bristling at his tone.

"Not one word, Doc, about Lou leaves this way station, or my boys and I will make your life really unpleasant." Teaspoon said again,

"Fine! Now let me see my patient!"

Teaspoon moved aside and the doctor entered the bunkhouse, with the stationmaster, Kid, and Jimmy on his heels. As Doc Danes began to examine Lou, several pairs of anxious eyes looked on. When he began to unbutton Lou's blouse, Rachel came to her senses.

"All right, everyone out of here. Let the Doc examine Lou without all your prying eyes watching him."

There were no protests as the Teaspoon, Jesse, and the riders left the bunkhouse and settled into different positions on it.

"Lou's not…not going to die, is she, Teaspoon?" Jesse asked his blue eyes filled with unshed tears.

"It's too soon to start thinking that way Jesse." Teaspoon said softly.

Silence settled over the porch as the riders, Jesse, and Teaspoon waited for word from the doctor on Lou's condition.

Inside the bunkhouse, Doc Banes worked quickly to staunch the flow of blood that was steadily streaming from Lou's groin. Rachel worked alongside the doctor, heating water, sterilizing cloth, and handing him his instruments, all the while her heart breaking for the young woman all of them loved. When finally he had managed to staunch the blood, and they had Lou cleaned up, the doctor went to the door.

At the sound of the door opening, eight pairs of eyes turned toward it. Doc Danes walked over to Teaspoon. "That young lady is very lucky to be alive…anymore blood lost and we would have been burying her."

The blood drained from Kid's face.

"Blood? What blood?" he exclaimed. "Lou didn't have any open wounds, so where did the blood come from?"

The others started to fire questions at the doctor as well, but Teaspoon held up his hand to halt them. "The doc can't tell us what he means with all of you yammering."

"I believe that Lou has suffered a miscarriage. Guessing from the amount of blood she's lost, the fever, ashen face…I believe that it has been a slow process over the last three or four days, and culminated finally in her losing it today." Doc Danes explained.

Kid felt his chest constrict violently as he listened to the doctor's explanation of why Lou was so sick. A baby. Lou had been pregnant with his baby and she had not told him. How could she not have told him? He stumbled off the porch, his head swimming with the realization that he fathered and lost a child he had not known anything about.

"Is she going to be okay?" Noah asked.

"I believe so. She is going to need time and a lot of rest to get through this. Losing a child is never an easy thing to get over, but she is young and she has people who love her. I gave Rachel some medication to dole out to her for the pain, but it needs to be given sparingly." Doc Danes said as he started down the porch steps toward where Cody had tied his horse.

Teaspoon caught him by the arm. "Doc…"

"Don't worry, Teaspoon…I'm not going to say anything." Doc Danes assured him.

Teaspoon smiled wryly. "Thanks, Doc…I just…is she going to be able to…?"

"There appears to be no reason that I can see that she won't be able to have another baby when the time is right." Doc Danes said.

"Good…that's good." Teaspoon said, releasing his hold on the doctor's arm.

Teaspoon watched the doctor mount up and ride out of the way station, before moving toward the door. All the boys followed him into the bunkhouse, except for Jimmy. Jimmy felt sick to his stomach, knowing that he his own actions had contributed to Lou losing her baby. He had been so concerned with trying to out do Kid for Lou's heart that he had not been there when she needed him. He knew that it was because of his recent revelation to her of his true feelings, that it had made her feel awkward about talking to him. Always before she had shared secrets with him that she could not tell Kid or did not think anyone else would understand. But this time she had not and it had been because of the way he had been acting. Lou had needed him and he had let her down, and he would never forgive himself for that. Never.

Chapter 74

Kid walked into the barn, his thoughts in turmoil over the revelation that he had just heard. Lou had been pregnant with his baby and she had not told him. There was no question in his mind that the baby was his. As much as it goaded him that Lou and Jimmy had always had a close relationship, he knew that both of them were too honorable to have done anything while they were still together. And he knew that Lou would not have been with another man. She just was not like that.

He moved down the aisle of stalls to Katie's, unbolted the lock on the door, opened it, and slipped inside. "Aw, Katie, I've made one hell of a mess." He told the paint, burrowing his face into her mane, and felt tears fill his eyes as he gave into his mixed up feelings.

Kid did not know how much time had passed before he heard the barn door open, and Teaspoon call out, "Kid? You in here?"

He hastily wiped his eyes and slipped out of Katie's stall, and moved toward the front of the barn. "How's Lou?"

"She's still out. Rachel said the doc gave her some kind of medicine to make her sleep." The stationmaster told him. Teaspoon's eyes were intense on his face.

Kid squirmed under the perusal. "I can't stay here now, Teaspoon. Not after…not after, what I've done."

"So that's it, then? You're going to just ride out of here and leave her to handle what's happened by herself." Teaspoon's tone was disapproving.

"She won't be alone. She has all of you, and all I would be is a reminder to her of how awful I've treated her…How I was to blame for her losing the baby."

"Don't be taking on something that you aren't responsible for." Teaspoon told him. "Yes, you've treated Lou poorly over the past couple of months and that's something you're going to have to work out between the two of you. But you were not anymore responsible for Lou losing the baby, than Lou, herself, was. Doc Banes said it just was not meant to be. It's just not Lou's time to be a ma or your time to be a pa."

"A pa. I never thought much about having babies… until I met Lou…She made me believe that I could be anyone that I wanted to be, even a pa." Kid's voice cracked, and it took him a couple of moments to regain his composure enough to speak again. "Teaspoon…how can I hurt this bad about losing a baby I didn't even know about until a short time ago?"

Chapter 75

Teaspoon removed his battered hat from his head and ran a hand through his graying hair. He was silent for a few moments as he tried to think of the right words to say to the anguished young man before him.

"Because the baby was a part of you, and a part of Lou. The two of you created a special gift as evidence of the love that the two of you shared. Regardless of how long it existed, it's always going to be a special reminder to you and Lou how much the two of you loved each other."

"Loved each other…it sounds so final; so over." Kid remarked sadly. "I wonder if it's really over between me and Lou."

"I don't know, Kid. That is something that you and Lou are going to have to figure out for yourselves. It is a tough road ahead for both of you, no matter what you decide to do. Just be sure you make the right choice in picking the road that you want to go down." Teaspoon said as he turned to leave the barn.

"Thanks, Teaspoon." Kid said softly to the older man before he left the barn.

He settled down on a bale of hay to think, and heard the barn door creak open behind him. Kid turned toward the entrance to the barn, thinking that Teaspoon had remembered something that he had wanted to say to him, and found a solemn Jimmy Hickok standing in the doorway instead. He frowned and turned his back on Hickok, hoping the dark-haired rider would take the hint that he wanted to be left alone.

Jimmy easily recognized the back turning as a dismissal from the Kid; but he ignored it. Ever since Lou had collapsed, he had been wracked by guilt over the way that he and Kid had treated her. For once, he had not leveled all of his anger onto Kid, blaming the other rider for all the wrongs he had done. This time he had fully leveled all his anger onto himself, knowing that he was just as responsible for Lou leaving Rock Creek as Kid had been.

When he and the rest of the Pony Express family members had been told by Doctor Banes that Lou had been pregnant, and then she had subsequently lost the baby, his heart had plummeted into his stomach. A baby. Sweet Lou had been pregnant with Kid's baby, and she had lost it. He could not begin to imagine the world of hurt that Lou was going to be feeling once she awakened and realized that she had lost the baby that she and Kid had created.

His thoughts had then turned onto Kid. If he knew anything at all, Kid would be beating himself up worse than anything that he could possibly say to him. Instead of feeling the daily anger towards the other rider that he had felt for the past several weeks, he simply felt tired. They had wasted so much time being angry at one another, over the past couple of months, that they had begun to really think of each other as enemies, and he did not like that at all. He did not hate Kid, he just did not like the way the other rider had treated Lou, and he knew most of that stemmed from his own personal feelings for Lou. She was one hell of a woman and any man in his right mind would have to be a fool to think that he could do better than she could for a mate, and he was not a fool.

Jimmy was just beginning to see that by his voicing his innermost feelings to Lou, that he had caused the female rider even more distress than what she had already been going through. Having Kid push her away because she hadn't wanted to get married just yet, had hurt Lou in the worse way, and he had used Lou's being hurt as a way to get back at Kid. He could admit to himself, now, that he had hoped that in the process of showing how badly the Kid was acting towards her, that Lou would begin to see him in a much different light as just a friend.

He realized now that as much as he cared about Lou, he had had no right to try to drive a further wedge between her and Kid. He had wronged both Lou and Kid by his actions, and he aimed to apologize for the way he had acted. He just hoped it was not too late to repair his friendships with the two riders.

Jimmy entered the barn and walked over to settle himself atop a bale of hay near the Kid

"I'm really not in the mood to fight with you anymore Jimmy." Kid told him.

"Good 'cause I'm not in the mood to fight with you either." Jimmy replied quietly, as he moved over to sit down on another bale of hay across from Kid.

"Then what do you want?"

"Once upon a time before our emotions got all mixed up Kid, you and I were friends. I hope that despite the fighting we've been doing, that we still are."

Kid shifted on the bale of hay he was seated on, so that he could look incredulously at Jimmy. "Friends? I was beginning to wonder if we ever were friends with the way we've been going at each other."

"We were. We are." Jimmy told him. "I want to apologize to you Kid. Not for what I've said in the past couple of months, exactly, but for the way I went about telling them to you. I made an already difficult situation even harder, and I had no right."

"No you didn't." Kid agreed. He paused for a moment. "But you were right in so many ways. I let my being hurt over Lou not being ready to marry, fester into anger. I allowed that anger to control all of my thoughts and actions toward Lou, and you both. I'm sorry for that Jimmy."

There was a moment or two of silence before Jimmy spoke again.

"Kid, there's something else I need to tell you."

"No you don't, Jimmy. I know that you love Lou."

There was a look of surprise on Jimmy's face when he looked at Kid.

Kid laughed softly. "I guessed along time ago that you felt something deeper for Lou than what you led everyone to believe. It was why I got so riled up when I saw the two of you alone together."

"I never acted on what I was feeling, Kid; until recently, that is. I kissed Lou the day that she left Rock Creek."

"I know you didn't." Kid said. He locked gazes with Jimmy. "You are just too loyal for that. I just forgot about it for a while but I won't make the same mistake again. Regardless of what happens between Lou and me, I want us to remain friends Jimmy."

"No matter what happens from here on out, Kid, you are stuck with me." Jimmy vowed and held out his hand to Kid.

The two riders shook hands. Each one knew that they were still bound to butt heads in the future; they were both to pig headed and argumentative not to. Whatever the outcome though, they knew that they would always be friends.

The barn door opened a moment later to reveal Jesse. "Teaspoon sent me to get you, Kid. Lou's calling for you."

Kid jumped to his feet and raced out of the barn toward the bunkhouse with Jimmy and Jesse on his heels.

Chapter 76

Rachel sat on the edge of Lou's bunk and dabbed at the female rider's flushed face with a damp cloth. The doctor had warned them that the fever that Lou had developed had would probably last for the next couple of days, because of the shock her body had gone through in aborting the baby she carried. He had left instructions with Rachel to administer medication to help with the fever and pain periodically, make sure Lou did not move around too much so that she would not tear the stitches out, kept water in her and nothing stronger than broth in her stomach. He insisted that if the fever spiked too high or that Rachel spotted more blood on the bandages, then she was to send one of the other riders immediately.

"Kid."

"Lou? Did you say something Lou?" Rachel asked softly, pausing in her administrations to see if she had really heard the female rider say something.

"I want Kid."

Rachel glanced over her shoulder to look at Teaspoon. He moved to the door of the bunkhouse and opened it.

"Jesse, go to the barn and get Kid. Lou wants him."

By the time that he had closed the door and returned to his seat, the door burst open and Kid came in followed by Jimmy and Jesse. Teaspoon motioned for Jesse to head back outside, and the teenager went reluctantly. He gazed from Kid to Jimmy, as if trying to determine whether or not it was a good thing that the two riders were in such close proximity with each other, and quickly noted that the earlier animosity between them were gone.

"Will wonders never cease?" he commented in a low voice that brought sheepish grins to both Kid and Jimmy's faces.

"Kid?"

Hearing his name hoarsely spoken, propelled Kid over to the bed. Rachel rose from her place and cast the chestnut hair rider a warning look before she moved away. Kid settled himself in her place on the side of the bed and glanced down at the beautiful flushed face of the woman that he loved. How could he have treated her so badly? His self-recriminations were going to have to wait. Lou needed him and he was not about to let her down again…not ever.

It took him a moment or two to realize that Lou was not awake, but that she had been calling out to him in her fevered state. Kid felt humbled that even after everything he had done to her in the past couple of months, that she would call out to him over anyone else. It gave him hope that things might not be permanently over for them after all.

He took up bathing Lou's face with the damp cloth that Rachel had been using a few moments earlier. Rachel set to work making dinner. Teaspoon, after quietly arguing with Jimmy for a moment, left the bunkhouse to corral the other riders into tending to the evening chores. Jimmy scooted a chair over from the table and sat down, his gray eyes hooded as he gazed down onto Lou's restless form on the bunk.

Rachel had to coax both Kid and Jimmy to come away from Lou's side to partake of the dinner that she had prepared. They did so reluctantly, their eyes drifting over to the bunk upon which the female rider laid, as they ate their food. It was a somber group who sat gathered around the table in the bunkhouse. Conversation was kept to a bare minimum and only spoken in low tones so as not to disturb Lou from her healing, but restless slumber.

When it was time for everyone to turn in for the evening, Kid stubbornly refused to leave Lou's side. Rachel gave in to the young man, showing him the powder that the doctor had left and instructing him on the precise amount he was suppose to add to a glass of water if Lou needed it. She refilled the bowl he was using to dampen the cloth he used to cool Lou's face with cool water before she left the bunkhouse to go retire for the evening in her own house across the yard.

Teaspoon and Jesse headed off to the tool shed where they slept, while the other riders readied themselves to turn in for the night. A single lamp was burning so that Kid would be able to see to care for Lou, and with mumbled good nights, the rest of the riders soon fell asleep. All except, Jimmy. He lay awake on his bed and kept up a silent vigil for Lou, along with Kid.

Chapter 77

Lou lay in a fevered, pain-filled haze for most of the night. Kid stayed by her side the entire time, talking soothingly to her and bathing her face, neck, and arms with cool water. He was not sure if she heard what he was saying to her, but found he could not stop talking nonetheless. There were moments within the night that Kid thought Lou was on the brink of consciousness because she became restless and mumbled his name, but then she would grow quiet and settle down again.

He did not know which was a better state for Lou to be in. Stuck in a dream world where she did not have to feel anything or awake and flooded with pain and heartache. He wished he could protect her from the reality of losing their baby, but he could not. All he could do is to support her through it to the best of his ability.

Already he was grieving enough for the both of them. There was no comparison to the pain he was feeling to what he knew Lou was going to experience. He had not even known the baby existed until a few hours earlier, and Lou had known for some time. He couldn't begin to imagine what it was like to feel a new life growing inside of you one day, and then have it be gone the next.

Kid rose from his chair, picked up the bowl he was using to bathe Lou and walked over to the sink. He dumped the lukewarm water into it, refilled the bowl with fresh water, and then pumped a tin cup with some water and drank thirstily. He was having difficulty in trying not to imagine what a child of his and Lou's would look like. Would it have Lou's smile and eyes or his hair and skin coloring? Would it have been a boy or a girl?

Anguish swept over him as he returned to Lou's side. He replaced the bowl of water onto the crate between the bunks but did not retrieve the rag from Lou's head to rewet it. Instead, he gently placed one of his hands over Lou's and lowered his head onto the bunk.

"I'm so sorry Lou. So very sorry," he whispered softly to her as tears filled his cerulean blue eyes and he wept for the tiny life he had helped create and was now lost.

*******************************************************************

Dawn was just beginning to break over the horizon when Lou's eyes fluttered open. There was a moment of disorientation as she gazed up at the wooden ceiling overhead. It appeared farther away than it should have been until she realized that she was not in her own bed. She was in Buck's, and that puzzled her. Why wasn't she in her own bunk?

Lou tried to rise up into a sitting position and was alarmed at how weak she felt. Her stomach clenched painfully and fear swept through her as she lowered a hand to cover it. In doing so, her hand brushed against something soft and she turned her head to find Kid.

He was sitting on a chair beside the bed with his head lying on top of the quilt. His face was turned toward hers and his eyes were closed. If she had not already been aware that he was asleep, the slight rise and fall of his chest would have told her.

It was obvious to her that he had stayed awake to care for her, but she did not understand why. He had spent the past few months making it abundantly clear to her that he did not want anything to do with her. That was until a couple of days ago when he apparently reconsidered and wanted to start over. She almost fell for it too before she overheard his and Jimmy's bet for her affections in the barn.

She was surprised that she did not feel any anger towards him, only pain and regret for the multitude of arguments and misunderstandings that had occurred between them. She did not know how they would ever get through what had happened between them or if they even could.

Lou tried again to raise herself up into a sitting position, but immediately gave up when a sharp pain sliced through her abdomen eliciting a cry from between her lips. She fell back against the pillows as another pain seized hold of her and did not dissipate right away. Perspiration broke out across her forehead as she clutched at her stomach and whimpered. The pain was unbearable.

Kid awoke with a start, alerted by some noise near his head in the quiet bunkhouse. He straightened into an upright position and let out a yawn. He rubbed his eyes to clear them and when he took his easily, he realized where the sound had come from.

Lou's doe eyes were open and filled with pain and fear as she clutched both hands to her stomach. Kid reacted immediately. He hurried over to the sink and filled a glass with water, before hurrying back over to the bunk, and settling back into his chair. He took a packet of powder that Doc Danes had given them and poured some of it into the glass and used his finger to stir it up. He reached out to help Lou drink the liquid but she shrugged away from him.

"I was just going to help you drink this Lou. Dr. Danes said it will help you with the pain." Kid told her.

"I can do it myself. " Lou said as she took the glass from Kid. She leaned up onto one elbow and lifted the glass shakily to her lips. She grimaced at the bitter taste of the cloudy liquid, but did not stop drinking until she had emptied the glass.

As soon as she was finished, she handed the glass back to Kid and wearily sank back against the pillows as another pain sliced through her.

"What happened?" she asked Kid once the pain had subsided.

"Don't you remember?"

"If I did I wouldn't be asking you, now would I?" Lou snapped, even as she tried to recall what had transpired and led to her being in a world of pain in Buck's bed. A couple of moments passed before she spoke again. "I remember coming back to Rock Creek and talking to Teaspoon and Rachel, but I don't recall anything after that."

Kid closed his eyes and took a deep breath. There had not been enough time for him to reconcile his own feelings with the loss of their baby, let alone for him to prepare himself for divulging the heartbreaking news to Lou. Regardless of whether he was ready or not, the time had come for him to tell Lou and the longer he waited to do so, the harder it was going to be for the both of them. He opened his eyes and gazed down into Lou's face.

"You collapsed after you revealed to all of us that you were pregnant. We carried you inside and someone went to get Doc Danes. You were bleeding really bad Lou." Kid's voice broke and it took him a couple of moments before he had his emotions under control again. As he continued speaking, he saw growing realization dawn upon Lou's face. "The doc did everything he could to stop the bleeding and save the baby, but he couldn't. You lost our baby, Lou."

"No!" Lou let out a sob and covered her face with her hands.

Chapter 78

Lou felt her heart shatter into a thousand little pieces at Kid's words. Their baby was dead and it was all her fault. Grief consumed her as she thought about the tiny life she and Kid would never get to watch grow up. Even though she was initially shocked to learn she was pregnant, Lou quickly came to love her baby.

Kid hesitated a moment before easing himself onto the bed and drawing Lou carefully into his arms. She struggled against him at first, but soon settled into them. She leaned into him and sobbed against his shoulder. He was unashamed of the tears that fell from his eyes and mingled with Lou's to dampen his shirt.

Lou's sobs tore at Kid's heart, fragmenting it until he was certain it would never be whole again. He had done this. It was his fault that Lou was so upset lately. He was the reason why she had left Rock Creek in the first place. If he had treated her better or had understood her reason for turning down his marriage proposal, maybe then she would not have lost their baby. If anyone was to blame for Lou, losing their baby it was he.

Vaguely he became aware that the other riders were awake. There was a difference in their breathing that alerted him to the fact that he and Lou weren't alone. He appreciated his fellow riders' willingness to give the two of them as much privacy as they could without leaving the bunkhouse.

Jimmy lay on his bunk and felt as if his heart was permanently lodged in his throat as he listened to Lou's heart-wrenching sobs. His gut tightened with guilt for his part in making Lou so miserable. Even though he would love to lay all the blame on Kid's shoulders, but he could not. At every turn, he had goaded Kid with words, dirty looks, and even a punch or two for the way the other rider was treating Lou.

He should have never interfered into Kid and Lou's relationship, but his own deepening feelings for the female rider had spurred him to defend her repeatedly. Declaring his love for her had added to Lou's emotional upheaval and led her to flee Rock Creek. Forcing her to come back against her will was not right either, but the thought of her experiencing such a tragedy alone was far worse.

He turned over onto his side and watched as Kid cradled the woman they both loved close and for once did not envy him. Despite the fact that Kid had not known about the baby before Lou's revelation, the chestnut rider was still the father. Suffering such a loss was devastating and only by drawing on each other for comfort, did he think that Kid and Lou could survive their grievous loss.

Chapter 79

Lou gradually began to regain her composure and when she did, she struggled to free herself from Kid's hold on her. Kid was reluctant to release Lou from his embrace, wanting to comfort her as much as he needed comfort.

"Let me go Kid," Lou said her voice hoarse with emotion.

Kid did as she requested and Lou fell gratefully back onto the pillows. Her eyes burned, her head ached, and her heart felt as if it had been ripped in two. She pulled the covers up to her chin and closed her eyes. Tears rolled out of the corners of her eyes as images of babies danced in her mind's eye and overwhelming sadness enveloped her once again.

As quietly as they could, the other riders got ready for the day. Breakfast was a silent affair so as not to disturb Lou had finally fallen asleep again. Teaspoon had to order Kid to leave her side long enough to eat. When the meal was over Kid was coaxed into bed on Rachel's promise that if Lou needed anything she would wake him up. Teaspoon shooed the others outside to their chores and gave strict orders that no one was to go back inside the bunkhouse except for meal times.

Rachel set to work cleaning up the remains of breakfast, setting aside a couple of biscuits for Lou to eat when she woke up. She put a kettle of tea on to brew as well, knowing that the strong liquid could bolster Lou's waning energy.

She fretted over the young woman's state of mind. As a woman who had personally suffered the loss of a child as well, she knew to some degree what Lou was going through. Even though her own circumstances had been quite different than the female rider's, Rachel still remembered the overwhelming sense of grief and loneliness that she had experienced and feared what it might do to Lou.

"Rachel?"

The housekeeper turned at the sound of her name being called and was alarmed to find Lou trying to sit up.

"What are you doing?" Rachel hurried over to the bunk. "You shouldn't be moving around Lou."

"I have to use the outhouse." Lou said and grimaced as pain shot through her.

Rachel hesitated. Dr. Danes had not covered what they were supposed to do if Lou needed to take care of her personal needs. He had only told them that it was best if they restricted Lou's movements as much as possible.

"Let me wake Kid so that he can carry you to the outhouse." She told Lou.

"No!" Lou exclaimed sharply. "I can do it myself."

"You can barely sit up, let alone stand." Rachel protested.

"I don't want Kid's help." Lou said through gritted teeth as she slowly pushed the covers out of her way and swung her legs over the side. She struggled to lift herself into a standing position but could not do it. She sank back down onto the bunk and felt tears fill her eyes as her abdomen was seized with pain.

"Either you let me wake Kid to help you out to the outhouse or we devise a way for you to relieve yourself in here." Rachel said firmly.

"Fine, get Kid."

Kid was already awake when Rachel moved over to his bunk. He had awakened the moment he heard Lou say the housekeeper's name, but had remained quiet. His heart clenched painfully when he heard Lou reluctantly give her permission for Rachel to wake him.

As Rachel approached his bunk, he feigned sleep. Her footsteps stopped beside his bunk and he felt her hand upon his shoulder. Kid let her say his name twice before he pretended to awaken.

"I'm awake." He told her, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong? Is Lou okay?"

"Lou needs to use the outhouse."

Kid got up and stretched before heading over to the bunk Lou was temporarily using. Lou glared defiantly up at him. Her face did not seem to be as flushed as it was the evening before. Her brown eyes were red-rimmed from all the crying she had done and in their depths was a mixture of pain and sorrow that brought lump to his throat.

He vowed immediately to do whatever it took to chase that look out of her eyes permanently. "Whenever you are ready?"

Lou nodded. She hated that she felt so weak. She disliked it even more that she needed his assistance to do something she could easily do on her own. "I'm ready."

"Okay."

Kid helped her into a standing position, wincing each time she let out a whimper from the pain. Lou took two steps with his help before her knees buckled. Without hesitation, Kid lifted her into his arms and carried her outside to the outhouse. Despite her resistance to the thought of him helping her, Lou could not resist resting her head against his shoulder. His arms had always been a place in which she had sought comfort before and regardless of whether she forgave him or not, having him hold her for even a few moments seemed to lessen the grief she was experiencing.

When they reached the outhouse, Kid opened the door, before carefully lowering Lou to the ground. He waited long enough to assure himself that she was not going to keel over again, before he closed the door to give her some privacy.

It was a chore for Lou to draw down her long johns and seat herself upon the toilet in the outhouse. Pain like the one she had never experienced before flooded through her entire groin area as she relieved herself and she fought against the nausea that rose along with it. She did not know which was the most difficult for her to bear the physical pain or the emotional.

The physical pain she knew would dissipate in time, but she did not think that she would ever really get over losing her and Kid's baby. No matter what happened in her future, whether she married or not and had other children, Lou knew that she would always grieve for this first child.

When she was finished with her business, Lou reluctantly signaled to Kid that she was ready to go back into the bunkhouse. Kid opened the outhouse door and gently picked Lou up into his arms and carried her into the bunkhouse.

"Lou?" Kid began, but Lou was quick to cut him off.

"Leave me alone, Kid. Please just leave me alone." Lou's voice broke as she carefully rolled over onto her side, and putting her back to Kid to indicate to him that she did not want to talk anymore.

"All right, Lou, I'll leave you alone." Kid told her softly, his voice filled with conviction. "Just as long as you understand that I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here by your side, whether you want me to be or not."

Chapter 80

Lou slowly regained her strength over the next couple of days. Kid was constantly by her side, helping her to walk, carrying her back and forth to the outside, and supporting her every step of the way. He did not try to force Lou to talk about everything that happened between them, and Lou was grateful for that. Their combined grief bonded them together in a way that nothing else could and although they were not back on the right track as far as their relationship went, knowing that she truly was not alone in her pain was comforting to Lou. There were times when the sadness and pain got to be too much for Lou and she would scream against the unfairness of it all. Kid willingly took whatever she threw at him, knowing that he deserved it, and made it clear that no matter what she said or did, he was not going anywhere.

For the first couple of days, the other riders took up the slack on the rides and doing chores around the station so that Kid could stay with Lou. Teaspoon was okay with it at first, but as he began to notice how tired and worn the others riders were getting because of all the extra work they were doing, he took Kid aside and told him that he was going to have to at least pitch in around the station with the chores, and the young man reluctantly agreed.

The time away from Lou was beneficial for both riders. It gave the female rider some much needed privacy to think about all that had happened in the past couple of months, and gave her and Rachel the opportunity for talking as well. Knowing that Rachel had experienced losing a baby as well made it easy for Lou to open up to her about what she was feeling. The two women shared many tears with one another, along with a few smiles, and gave Lou hope that the intense sorrow she was feeling would eventually subside into something she could live with.

Doctor Danes was pleased by the progress that the young woman was making in her recovery. He came by the bunkhouse every couple of days to examine Lou and make sure that she was continuing to follow his instructions. He was a gentle man who did his best to alleviate Lou's discomfort with his intimate examinations, and always allowed Rachel to stay inside when he did them. When he revealed to her that she would be able to carry more children in the future, Lou wept with relief. Even though the death of this first baby was still a fresh wound, the knowledge that she would still have the option of having more children in the future was a wonderful blessing.

One night, nearly two weeks after Lou miscarried, Kid awoke to her crying. He slid out of bed and maneuvered his way over to the bunk she was in.

"Lou?"

"Go away."

"No," Kid told her softly. "No more sending me away or not talking things out. We're in this together Lou."

"I'm the one who lost the baby, you aren't."

"You're wrong, Lou. It was my baby too. I might not have known that it existed until it was too late, but it was still my baby. We created it together out of our love, and now it's gone, and I'm grieving too."

Kid's voice cracked as his grief threatened to overwhelm him. He worked to gain control of his emotions. In the precluding silence that followed, Lou reached but and took Kid's hand. The gesture moved him so much that he openly broke down.

"Lou, I am so sorry. I let my hurt and pride get the best of me over you telling me no. I didn't stop to listen to your reasons why you didn't want to get married because I was stupid." He confessed. "I hurt you because I was hurting and I don't blame you for being so angry with me. If I had handled things better and had not let my jealousy over your growing closeness with Jimmy rule my actions, you would have never have left Rock Creek. Maybe if you hadn't, you wouldn't have lost the baby."

"It wasn't your fault anymore than it was mine." Lou said softly." Doc Banes told me that as early along as I was I shouldn't have been experiencing the pain and cramping. He doesn't believe that anything I did was the cause of me losing the baby. It was just nature's way of telling me that something wasn't right with it."

"It doesn't excuse what I've done."

"No, it doesn't."

There was no anger in Lou's voice, only honesty.

"Where do we go from here?"

Kid's eyes were intent on Lou's face as he waited for her response.

"I don't know."

"I'd like for us to start over again, Lou, if you are willing to try."

Lou was silent for several minutes as she considered what Kid was asking. There had been so many hurtful things said and done between them that she was not sure if they could ever go back to what they had once been. Maybe the solution then was not to try to recapture what they had once meant to each other, but to start over again with a clean slate and see how things progressed. Was she even willing to attempt repairing the damages they had done to each other and make a fresh start? Did she still love him, despite everything that had happened between them?

Gazing into Kid's eyes and seeing the hope and love for her shining within their blue depths, Lou knew the answer to her own question.

"I'm willing to try. Let us start with friendship first, Kid. Can we do that?"

"We can do that." Kid felt relief flood through him at her words. Maybe, just maybe, he had not lost her completely yet.

Epilogue

Neither Kid nor Lou expected things to be easy to repair between them. Too many harsh words and hateful actions had been exchanged for them to just get over. Combined with the fresh wound of their grief for their child, there were hours when one or both of them wanted to call it quits, but somehow they stuck it out. Honesty was the key component that they relied on now. Where they might have once buried their hurts inside until they festered into an explosion between them, Kid and Lou instead shared what they were feeling at any given moment, regardless if the truth was hard for the other to take.

Every member of their Pony Express family was aware of the conscious work that the two riders were doing in trying to repair their damaged relationship, especially Jimmy. It was hard for him to see the progress that they were making, and went out of his way to avoid the two riders. He and Kid were once again on speaking terms and he was grateful for that. Despite everything that had happened between him and Kid, the other male rider his best friend and he did not want to do anything else to jeopardize their friendship again.

Lou was slowly learning how to laugh and smile again, and it did his heart good. He often felt her questioning eyes on him in the bunkhouse at meal times, and knew that she was hurt by the way; he was distancing himself from her. Jimmy did not know how to rectify that. He was working hard to get his own feelings for her under control so that he did not act upon them, and until he was successful at doing that, he did not want to test himself by spending any time alone with her. Nor was he eager to resurrect Kid's jealousy and cause more problems between his two fellow riders. All he wanted now was for Lou to happy, and if it meant her being with Kid instead of him, then he was okay with that.

Jimmy was in the barn grooming Sundancer one day, when he heard the barn door open and someone walk inside. Lou stopped just inside the doorway and watched Jimmy work for a few minutes as she tried to gather her thoughts. She knew that he was avoiding her and she wanted to know why. Or rather, she suspected why, and had decided to do something about it. Next to Kid, Jimmy was her closest friend and she loved him dearly. They had always had an easy rapport between them up until now and she had rather taken that for granted, and she could not bear the thought of him not being in her life.

"Jimmy, can we talk?" she asked the dark-haired rider finally.

"Sure." Jimmy said after a moment's hesitation.

Lou moved closer so that she could see Jimmy's face as she spoke to him." We need to talk about the kiss you gave me Jimmy, and what you said after words."

"It would be best for all of us if you just forgot about that kiss. You and Kid are working on your relationship, and he and I have repaired our friendship. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize either one of them."

"There's one friendship that you've forgotten, Jimmy, yours and mine. I care as deeply about it as I do mine and Kid's. You matter to me, Jimmy. I couldn't bear it if I've done something to destroy it."

Jimmy looked at her in surprise." You could never do anything to make me not want to be you friend, Lou, ever."

"I fell the same way about you Jimmy. You are a dear friend to me. I know that you want more from me than I can give to you, and I'm so sorry about that."

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. It is what it is."

"Will you promise me something, Jimmy?" Lou asked, her eyes flooding with tears.

"I'd do anything for you." Jimmy vowed hoarsely.

"Promise me we'll always be friends."

"I promise, Lou."

Lou moved then to hug Jimmy and after some hesitation on his part, Jimmy hugged her back. It was not the way he had wanted things to turn out between him and Lou, but having her, as a friend was better than nothing at all.

Although the relationships between Kid and Lou, Jimmy and Kid, and Lou and Jimmy were not entirely back, to where they had once been, they were certainly back on the mend. The healing taking place between the three riders was a welcomed sight for the other members of the Pony Express family. There were bound to be more obstacles to be faced in the future, but for now, things were back on an even kilter at the Rock Creek station.

The End


End file.
